“So how did you guys meet?”
If you are in a relationship, you will be asked this question over and over. It’s silly to not be prepared, people want a story.
I love a good “how we met” story. So much so I could be accused of trying to make relationships work simply because of how great the origin story was…
How did I meet my first New York boyfriend? On a Central Park bench my 2nd day in Manhattan! It’s a great story! Remember the story of the 20-year-old I met in the check-out line at Trader Joe’s? Another good story! Then there the two fellas I met literally on the streets New York. Stories so good you’d expect them to be scenes in the next Sex and the City movie. One was a hipster I met while walking up 9th Avenue who was carrying a banjo and I flirtatiously teased him about it, the other finance bro I met on 33rd and Lex outside Brother Jimmy’s, who asked if I’d join him and his buddy for a drink and I said yes.
My more significant ex I met at work. Which should be a boring story but isn’t because we were working at a freaking Renaissance fair.
All great stories, all not so great relationships.
It was a common thread and I couldn’t help but wonder: would a not-so-great story make for a better relationship? These are the things you start thinking when you’ve had about as many failed relationships as Carrie Bradshaw.
So I tried online dating and hey, my theory panned out! Coincidence? Likely, but who knows!
My current relationship is great, the story of how we met, not so much.
“How did you guys meet?” people ask.
“On the internet,” I reply.
The most boring answer I’ve ever given.
It’s not enough for most people. Within moments of meeting my boyfriend, my aunt was scolding us for not having a good enough How We Met story. “You gotta have a story! We love stories in this family!” Chill out! I wanted to yell. We haven’t been dating long enough to master the routine of telling this tale!
That was in July. Now summer is over and we’ve been dating long enough that I should have a solid sketch of How I Met My Boyfriend…
Thing is, it’s not exactly an easy tale to tell. It’s a long, somewhat awkward story. The kind that’s not uncommon among New York millennials but might sound crazy to those unfamiliar with the ridiculous mating rituals of the concrete jungle. My aunt wouldn’t appreciate it…but she doesn’t read my blog.
Here’s How We Met
I met my boyfriend on the dating site OKCupid. He went to school for classical music and we shared the dorkiest opera jokes before we even met. Did you hear the opera about the frat house where they throw a wicked party and one chick dies? La Bro-heme? What would’ve sent another women running for Westchester had me tickled and excited to meet him. When we met in person, I enjoyed our first date so much I actually ran down the block to kiss him at the end of it. I wrote all about that date on the blog, you can read the full story here:
I think I’m supposed to just leave it there, actually. When telling the How We Met story, I am expected to leave it as a happily-ever-after, fairy tale beginning. Encouraged to edit the real-life parts where he completely rejected me after our great first date, saying he’d become exclusive with someone else. Keep to myself the fact that I still thought about that date for months, even occasionally checking his dating profile to see it was active again… Omit the absolutely truth that the minute I’d finally stopped thinking about him and started dating someone else was, naturally, the same minute he texted me – four months after that first date.
But those awkward, complicated parts are really the best part of the story! They’re the parts someone could actually learn a lot from. Perhaps even glimmers of hope to people wading through the tedious sludge of online dating.
What can you learn from the awkward, real life story of How I Met My Boyfriend?
1. If you have a connection with someone, you owe it to yourself to give them second chance.
2. ALWAYS assume the people you date are dating other people as well. Simply assume this, and don’t take it personally, until it’s communicated otherwise.
3. If you’re still thinking about a girl 4 months after you met her, you have to text her. It doesn’t matter how awkward it feels. You have to take the chance she’s still thinking about you too.
4. If you have the urge to kiss someone at the end of a first date, go for it. Even if it means running down the street to catch them.
I know what you’re thinking…. I’ve watched people’s faces as I tell this story and it’s written all over them: “Oh great, Mary Lane’s dating another jerk. Will she ever learn!?” I almost need to leave out the real parts, other wise my boyfriend easily comes off as a player douche bag. The bro who dates allllll the girls, falls for one, and then comes crawling back when he gets dumped. Ugh, don’t date that New York cliché, Mary Lane!
I’m not. I promise. It’s been almost six months, I know him well enough now to know for sure he is absolutely not that Douche Cliché.
A Douche Cliché is someone who would scoff and say that men only read my blog because they think I’m hot. And then there’s my boyfriend:
He sent this with no prompting. I swooned. And thanked my lucky stars I gave him that second chance and trusted my gut instead of easily writing him off as just another Douche Cliché…
What’s your How We Met story? If you’ve been telling it for years, do you have it down to a science? Do you leave out the not-so-cute parts or tell it like it is?