1. The person who opened a can of tuna and nonchalantly ate directly from the aluminum while we all grimaced at the fishy sent.
2. The couple who gets on the subway in the middle of an argument. They may try to keep it civil while in a tightly enclosed space, but as likely as not fail. It’s either uncomfortable for everyone or almost fun to feel everyone on the train picking sides.
3. The guy singing to himself. He thinks he’s being quiet enough so no one else hears. He is wrong. (He might also be my boyfriend.)
4. People who leave their phone sound on and play games. DRIVES ME NUTS. But isn’t quite as disrespectful as
5. People who openly listen to music without headphones. NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR MUSIC. I actually said that to a guy doing this once, and guess what? Not only did he not turn off his music, he called me a bitch, repeatedly for the rest of the ride!
6. Subway preachers who don’t care about any destination besides heaven. This is aggressive preaching like you won’t see anywhere else.
7. Dude watching porn in the middle of rush hour. On the bright side (yes, there is a bright side) at least he’d not
9. Liquid of any kind.
10. Shit, Literal Shit.
11. Really, all empty train cars. There’s that split second of “Oh boy! I’ll get a seat!” followed by the immediate reality that an empty train car is almost ALWAYS bad. If you’re lucky. it’s empty because there’s no air conditioning. If you’re not lucky, yep, someone used it as a toilet.
12. Mariachi bands. They wear full mariachi regalia, including sombreros, and play traditional songs on guitar and concertina. I actually kind of like them…They’re the least aggressive subway performers and you never worry if they might hit you in the face like
13. Showtime Guys. The notorious gymnasts of the subway poles. Some of their feats are impressive and do take skill, but crowded trains make all these routines uncomfortable at best, dangerous at worst.
14. School groups where everyone is wearing matching shirts, all the kids are loud and take up the who car. They’re only on for a couple stops, but by the time they get off you know exactly who has a crush on who.
15. The rush hour train that is packed so tight, there’s no way you can get on. I don’t know if it’s more frustrating to not get on this train and wonder if the next one will be just as bad, or squish on the train and be closer the your fellow passengers than gummy bears squished in a bag.