Picked Up on a Park Bench

I’m sitting on a park bench reading Shopgirl. The story differs from your typical chick lit novella in that it is written by a man, Steve Martin to be exact. It is written in a refreshing 2nd person style. I’m enjoying it. Engrossed in my reading, semi-sickly relating to the protagonist and wondering what the comments on my own life would be were they reported in this way, suddenly I’m approached.

“Can I talk to you about something?”

Having just been questioned by a father and daughter as to where one can find boats, (my answer: nooo idea, but I felt sillily cool that I must look like someone who would know) I look up expecting a tourist- “Where’s the MET?” A bum- “Gimmie a quarter.” Or a creeper- “Buy a Roladex from the side of my trench coat.”

None of the above.

He’s a guy in his 20s, cute, slim but not scrawny, scruffy brown hair, with a small pimple near his nose which for some reason I am able to find strangely endearing.

“If you’re trying to sell me something, I’m not going to buy it.” I say.

Retorted with an appropriate chuckle, “No I’m not going to sell you anything, I’m not even going to try to force a Bible on you. Can I just talk to you for a couple minutes?”

Well, he promised no selling, no Bibles…I can run away to work if/when necessary. “You can try.”
He sits down next to me on the bench, introduces himself, then, “You know those guys who get a dog out of the hope the animal will help them pick up girls?”
“What do you think about that?”
This turns into a 10 minute conversation that stays pretty close to the subject, bouncing around from I’m a proven non-dog person to You can’t assume the theoretical guy got the theoretical dog for this reason to What is honesty.

So what? So where is this going? “So are you on a deadline for an article or something?” Are you writing a blog? Cause that’s where I know this story’s going for me.
No,” he replies, “I’m just sick of “the game” and people trying to get together by fooling each other. I just want to talk to people and be real and I was hoping I could get your phone number.

This motive had crossed my mind, but just barely as I am notoriously oblivious in such matters.  Well, I know what at least 2 of you are thinking: yes I felt like this was straight out of Sex and the City (in theaters in less than 24 hours!) too.
My inner Miranda burbled up, “So how many times have you tried this tactic” -it carried on way too long to be a line- “before?”
When his reply was an innocent, “What?” I decided not to repeat myself. Let’s not be mean for once. He’s cute, seemingly smart, perhaps a little awkward, and with signs that hint to me he may prove obnoxious. But I really don’t know. Let’s try benefit of the doubt. Why not? People who have just left the large majority of their friends in other states may want to cast pickiness to the winds. Momentarily? At least give it a try?

I gave him my number. Yep. I got picked up on a Central Park bench my first full day in Manhattan. I’m off to a great start.

About New York Cliche

NYC lifestyle blog by Mary Lane. Events, adventures, epic mistakes, dating, life, humor. A 20-something trying to make it (and make out) in the city of dreams.

13 thoughts on “Picked Up on a Park Bench

  1. omg…our blog is already so great. i LOVE this entry + i love it even more that it happened to you!! these entries are going to be tough to compete with…can’t wait to here all about this + your job!

  2. wow, that is wicked Sex and the City. I love it.
    It reminded me of the time when Carrie meets the guy at the fountain and they discuss why men and women are freaks. She ends up ruining it when she raids his closet. Stupid Carrie.

    I love your blog so far. Its fun to read.

    I miss you.
    lots of love

  3. That is soooo Sex and the City. Gotta love Central Park!! So glad things are going well and that you are living the cliche to its fullest. I miss you tons and can’t wait to come a visit (with your bags of course) LOVE!!! Oh, and tell my city I say hello- I miss it.

  4. Clearly, SOOO sex in the city.

    How is it one can live in a place FULL of awkward people, and then while reading in Manhattan(the decidedly not awkward capital of the world) get picked up by an awkward guy.


  5. Go Mary!

    Obviously you are properly appreciated in a major city.

    I also like your acronym. SPIT feels appropriate some days.

    Love you.

  6. fucking hilarious! omigod, i’m gonna read it again. hahahaha… love it, wished i was there in NYC to see you in Central Park action!

  7. Are you sure you’re not Kate Hudson in a romantic comedy? Things like this never happen in Sydney. Or perhaps they do, but certainly not to me.


  8. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your blog?
    Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little
    more in the way of content so people could connect
    with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

Comments are closed.