I went away for July 4th weekend with a boy (friend. With a boyfriend. My boyfriend. Still struggling to say it, but I’m getting better all the time!) and something amazing happened:
I still like him! Even more than I did before, in fact!
I spent four whole days with this dude (boy. friend.) FOUR WHOLE DAYS, including 16 hours in the confines of a Toyota Corolla. I didn’t get sick of him, not even for a minute. The thought, “Ugh. Shut up,” never flashed across my mind, not even when were stuck in traffic and he belted out every word of the Reel Big Fish song on Spotify. I didn’t roll my eyes at him, not even once.
WHAT!? I DIDN’T THINK SUCH A THING WAS POSSIBLE.
You see, my past is chock-o-block full of many, many road trips. Every summer my parents and I would pile into a Toyota Camry and drive from San Francisco to Maine. Grade school Summer Vacation was synonymous with Epic Road Trip. It’s as crazy as it sounds: 3000 miles of gas station bathrooms and none of us ever agreeing on air conditioning. On the road, it was rare for four hours to pass without my mom and dad getting into a fight, forget four days. But hey, maybe that’s the difference between a trip that takes 9 hours and one that takes 9 days. Definitely the difference between your first trip as a couple and 20 years of marriage.
I’ve always rolled my eyes at boyfriends in the past.
Ugh, he’s wearing a kilt.
Gah, he likes pro-wrestling.
Ew, he thinks the display windows at Bergdorf Goodman are better than the art at the Met.
Shocker that none of them worked out, right? That dudes never loved me and my belittling contempt for long?
Business Insider called contempt (what your average eye roll indicates) the “kiss of death” for relationships. I remember reading an article about contempt shortly after my last heart break. It was a full blown AH HA Moment. Of course my ex had left me for someone else! Someone who, unlike me, showed no contempt for him! Duh, Mary Lane, WHO WOULDN’T.
This new relationship is different. There’s no eye rolls, no contempt. It feels really great.
I’ve watched his friends roll their eyes at my boyfriend’s D-grade dad jokes. Usually I’m all for dragging dumb jokes but…these jokes are different. Instead, I squeeze his hand and giggle along, because I think his stupid jokes are adorable. I’m that cliché now. Since they’re not rolling, my eyes get to lock with his and take in his delightful smile, with a singular dimple that’s the perfect compliment to my also asymmetrical smile.
“You’ve been hanging out with him too much!” his friends groaned, when I later, inspired, deliver a bad dad joke of my own. Usually I’d agree. My introvert tendencies typically have me crying out for alone time after four days with anyone. But…this guy is different.
Maybe this was the piece of dating advice that was always missing? Find someone who never makes you roll your eyes.
At least in the beginning?
Hehe, I can feel some of you rolling your eyes at me and this blog post right now. Rolling your eyes and snickering, “Awww honey…you betcha that’s the difference between your first trip as a couple and 20 years of marriage! You know nothing about relationships, you adorably naive New Yorker!”