When You Have a Chronically Single Reputation, It’s Hard to Start Saying…Uh…Something Else

I’m going up to Maine for 4th of July weekend and I’m really excited. Topping the charts for “Small Talk of the Week” and for once I’m super enthusiastic to answer: “What are your plans for the holiday weekend?”

I’m taking Monday off and going up to Maine! My family has a cabin on the coast. It’s going to be so nice to get out of the city! Haha, I’ve been obsessively trolling weather.com like it’s the Facebook page of my crush! The weather’s supposed to be nice! Sparklers are legal, the lobster is fresh, and there’s a homemade pie at some roadside farm stand that already has my name on it. Is it Friday yet?

maine harbor

Sounds great, right? Perfect small talk. Yes. Ok. Thing is, I’m leaving out one crucial detail. A detail that is the opposite of small, to me at least. Probably to you as well.

Uh…ok, it’s big enough that I need a minute to spit it out.

It’s not the MOSQUITOES or the booming tick population. I’m not talking about the chance of thunderstorms on Sunday.

Guys, I don’t know why this is so hard for me to say.

Ok ok, I can’t lie. I know exactly why. That doesn’t make it easier.

No, no, it’s not some messy family drama I’m walking into for a weekend of close quarters.

See, a normal person would say…what I have to say without a second thought. Like it was nothing. NBD. Just-

I’m taking Monday off and going up to Maine with my boyfriend!

AHHHH! I said it! I did it! AH!

See! I’m not a normal person! Good thing my boyfriend likes weirdos!


maine porch
My legs won’t be alone on the porch this time!

When you have a reputation for being chronically single, saying “my boyfriend” is weird as fuck.

It’s never been a term I toss around lightly, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that it feels like a big deal. Turns out, calling someone your boyfriend isn’t like riding a bicycle. You can’t just jump back on and weave the two words through NYC traffic and pedestrians after 4 years of avoiding labels.


The thing is….every time I say “my boyfriend”, I um…kind feel like I’m bragging. Like: Look at me! I beat all the odds! I survived the stormy hellscape of unsolicited dick pics and constant objectification! I made it out alive, my self esteem somehow still intact! I found a guy who not only isn’t a selfish creeper, he’s adorable and charming and even 6’1! He’s great at texting AND kissing! WHAT!? This type of person still exists in NYC!? SHUT UP!



Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe this is perfectly normal PTND? Post Tramatic NYC Dating?

When I told my aunt I was coming up to Maine, it took about 10 minutes for me to say I actually meant we were coming up to Maine. “I’m bringing my fella!” I blurted out, more awkward than toilet paper stuck to the bottom of a strappy sandal. “Oh you’re bringing someone. Is this a boy who’s a friend or like a boyfriend?” my aunt asked outright. “B-boyfriend,” I stuttered, “He’s my boyfriend.”

Saying “my boyfriend” makes me feel like a girl again! The super awkward teenaged girl who I thought I’d left behind oh, decades ago!

My discomfort has nothing to do with the actual man in question. I couldn’t have picked a better guy if I’d custom ordered him off the internet (we met online so…I guess I kinda did..) Kind, amazingly supportive, creative and funny, he’s almost too good to be true. Dorky and goofy but also tall, dark and handsome: he looks like Adam Driver. Cliché in the best way: I feel like I can truly be myself around him. I’m notoriously shit at opening up and sharing…but he is so easy to talk to about anything and he makes me feel safe. It’s been months now and I still get excited every time I see him….

Who is this guy? How come I’ve never mentioned him? Well, I have. I wrote about him months ago. Here’s the funny thing- you may have actually talked shit about him! 

A First Date Worth Getting Excited About?

If you read this post, you won’t forget my movie-esque kiss move. Turns out it was a date worth getting excited about! And now we have the hollywood ending  that we all craved!

How did we come from him completely rejecting me after our first date to now going on a calling him my boyfriend (however awkwardly)? Aren’t I worried he’s a total player? Well, it’s kinda a long story…and I don’t have time to finish it right now because I have to go read every article I can find about How to Survive Your First Weekend Getaway as a Couple!


Any advice???

About New York Cliche

NYC lifestyle blog by Mary Lane. Events, adventures, epic mistakes, dating, life, humor. A 20-something trying to make it (and make out) in the city of dreams.

18 thoughts on “When You Have a Chronically Single Reputation, It’s Hard to Start Saying…Uh…Something Else

  1. Awww congratulations!! <3 <3 That's so exciting! I definitely agree with you how awkward it is to say the word "boyfriend" after you get used to not saying it so much. Now I'm in the phase of getting used to saying "ex-boyfriend," so enjoy the new verbiage – boyfriend is much more fun to say when it's not attached to the prefix "ex" lol.

    1. I guess most new things take some getting used to and feel awkward at first…glad you can relate…but yes, my awkward with this is much more fun than the awkward of attaching an “ex” for sure! Thanks for the perspective and I’ll do my best to revel in fun-awkward for now!

    1. Fingers crossed? That we make it to trivia? That we survive Maine vacation? That I get less awkward? 😉 Thanks for reading and the comment, G!

  2. How exciting!!! I can relate in a way, haha. Saying boyfriend was hard for me to get back into as well. It’s so strange, but it grows on you. Thanks for sharing such an adorable post! I can’t help but cheer for you! As for tips on surviving your first getaway, I say use it as a learning opportunity to learn more about him as well as yourself. Enjoy!!!

    Ashlynn | http://thecrimsoncardigan.com

    1. I’m glad I’m not alone in this!! Thanks for relating AND for reading and calling my post adorable (you’re so sweet)! I definitely took your advice, and learning more about both him and myself was really nice, I’m happy to say!!

  3. You’ve been dropping hints about that guy, so I wasn’t surprised by this post. Have fun in Maine!

    I would love to know the story of what happened between the first date and now, but if you don’t want to get into it, I totally understand your need for privacy.

    1. hehehe you are absolutely right, I have been dropping hints.
      And I think I will share some of what happened between date #1 and now! Your encouragement definitely helps and I couldn’t be more grateful that you’ve been reading my blog for so long!!! <3

  4. I remember asking when I met you that you weren’t speaking about life and work anymore. I guess this is why! I’m happy that you’re happy. And play it by ear, because all these new things only happen once. All their excitement and butterflies should be felt authentically. Have a wonderful weekend! Birth control, nice undies, poo pourri, manicure, pedicure and waxing.

    1. I think I’ve been worried that writing about it would jinx it? I guess I’ve gotten more guarded after blog controversies from the past… but the dude is really supportive of my blog which I’m so grateful for! I just have to get back into the swing of putting myself out here again, it’s not exactly easy! But it is fun and I also think it’s good for me!

  5. Oh my gosh, how did this happy ending come about? I’m excited for you! I remember the blog post you wrote about the first date, and it was such a letdown. (“Damn him anyway” were my exact words.) I’m glad he turned out to be sensible and realized that you are a great catch.

    1. hehehehe I love that you remember the first post and that you have in fact, already “damned” my boyfriend hahahaha! I’ll have to write more about the time in between now and then, thanks for the encouragement!! (And for always being on my side 😉

  6. A weekend in Maine is a wonderful way to blossom a relationship. So much to see and do. So happy for you he made it to “boyfriend ” status. Have fun you two! I am a new England girl living in Fla. Miss home though, especially taking the train into the city. Lisa @ Sweet Tea N’ Salty Air

  7. Aww, I love this post Mary! I get it. I’ve been single for SO long now that I’m realizing I’d probably be the exact same way. You start to develop this persona of Perpetual Single Girl and when you eventually do find yourself in a real thing (which I am now too) it’s weird to break that persona. But I’m really happy for you and hope you have a great weekend!!

  8. I’ve followed your blog since way back when and have been happily reading along from your big blog reveal to your dating adventures and more. Embrace saying boyfriend and enjoy Maine. Cheers!

  9. Mary Lane!! Words cannot express the amount of joy I feel for you right now. Not in a “thank the heavens she’s found someone” kinda way but because from what I know of you via the interwebs, you are a brilliant human being and I know you’re going to make someone so very happy! I hope Maine was as amazing as it looks in the boats photograph and you both had a wonderful time. Here’s to many more boyfriend-themed posts and cute couple feet photos! And also, Adam Driver? Nice. 😉

  10. ‘Stormy hellscape of unsolicited dick pics’ had me in stitches! And I can totally relate to the discomfort with labels you’re feeling! To me, it felt like a weird sort of humblebrag and a jinx of sorts at the same time. It took me like six months to call my now-husband anything other than ‘my friend Jeff.’

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