I’m going up to Maine for 4th of July weekend and I’m really excited. Topping the charts for “Small Talk of the Week” and for once I’m super enthusiastic to answer: “What are your plans for the holiday weekend?”
I’m taking Monday off and going up to Maine! My family has a cabin on the coast. It’s going to be so nice to get out of the city! Haha, I’ve been obsessively trolling weather.com like it’s the Facebook page of my crush! The weather’s supposed to be nice! Sparklers are legal, the lobster is fresh, and there’s a homemade pie at some roadside farm stand that already has my name on it. Is it Friday yet?
Sounds great, right? Perfect small talk. Yes. Ok. Thing is, I’m leaving out one crucial detail. A detail that is the opposite of small, to me at least. Probably to you as well.
Uh…ok, it’s big enough that I need a minute to spit it out.
It’s not the MOSQUITOES or the booming tick population. I’m not talking about the chance of thunderstorms on Sunday.
Guys, I don’t know why this is so hard for me to say.
Ok ok, I can’t lie. I know exactly why. That doesn’t make it easier.
No, no, it’s not some messy family drama I’m walking into for a weekend of close quarters.
See, a normal person would say…what I have to say without a second thought. Like it was nothing. NBD. Just-
I’m taking Monday off and going up to Maine with my boyfriend!
AHHHH! I said it! I did it! AH!
WHY DOES IT HAVE TO FEEL SO WEIRD FOR ME TO SAY!?
See! I’m not a normal person! Good thing my boyfriend likes weirdos!
AH I SAID IT AGAIN!
When you have a reputation for being chronically single, saying “my boyfriend” is weird as fuck.
It’s never been a term I toss around lightly, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that it feels like a big deal. Turns out, calling someone your boyfriend isn’t like riding a bicycle. You can’t just jump back on and weave the two words through NYC traffic and pedestrians after 4 years of avoiding labels.
The thing is….every time I say “my boyfriend”, I um…kind feel like I’m bragging. Like: Look at me! I beat all the odds! I survived the stormy hellscape of unsolicited dick pics and constant objectification! I made it out alive, my self esteem somehow still intact! I found a guy who not only isn’t a selfish creeper, he’s adorable and charming and even 6’1! He’s great at texting AND kissing! WHAT!? This type of person still exists in NYC!? SHUT UP!
AHHH HOW THE FUCK DID I GET SO LUCKY?
Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe this is perfectly normal PTND? Post Tramatic NYC Dating?
When I told my aunt I was coming up to Maine, it took about 10 minutes for me to say I actually meant we were coming up to Maine. “I’m bringing my fella!” I blurted out, more awkward than toilet paper stuck to the bottom of a strappy sandal. “Oh you’re bringing someone. Is this a boy who’s a friend or like a boyfriend?” my aunt asked outright. “B-boyfriend,” I stuttered, “He’s my boyfriend.”
Saying “my boyfriend” makes me feel like a girl again! The super awkward teenaged girl who I thought I’d left behind oh, decades ago!
My discomfort has nothing to do with the actual man in question. I couldn’t have picked a better guy if I’d custom ordered him off the internet (we met online so…I guess I kinda did..) Kind, amazingly supportive, creative and funny, he’s almost too good to be true. Dorky and goofy but also tall, dark and handsome: he looks like Adam Driver. Cliché in the best way: I feel like I can truly be myself around him. I’m notoriously shit at opening up and sharing…but he is so easy to talk to about anything and he makes me feel safe. It’s been months now and I still get excited every time I see him….
Who is this guy? How come I’ve never mentioned him? Well, I have. I wrote about him months ago. Here’s the funny thing- you may have actually talked shit about him!
If you read this post, you won’t forget my movie-esque kiss move. Turns out it was a date worth getting excited about! And now we have the hollywood ending that we all craved!
How did we come from him completely rejecting me after our first date to now going on a calling him my boyfriend (however awkwardly)? Aren’t I worried he’s a total player? Well, it’s kinda a long story…and I don’t have time to finish it right now because I have to go read every article I can find about How to Survive Your First Weekend Getaway as a Couple!