“So how did you guys meet?”
If you are in a relationship, you will be asked this question over and over. It’s silly to not be prepared, people want a story.
I love a good “how we met” story. So much so I could be accused of trying to make relationships work simply because of how great the origin story was…
How did I meet my first New York boyfriend? On a Central Park bench my 2nd day in Manhattan! It’s a great story! Remember the story of the 20-year-old I met in the check-out line at Trader Joe’s? Another good story! Then there the two fellas I met literally on the streets New York. Stories so good you’d expect them to be scenes in the next Sex and the City movie. One was a hipster I met while walking up 9th Avenue who was carrying a banjo and I flirtatiously teased him about it, the other finance bro I met on 33rd and Lex outside Brother Jimmy’s, who asked if I’d join him and his buddy for a drink and I said yes.
My more significant ex I met at work. Which should be a boring story but isn’t because we were working at a freaking Renaissance fair.
All great stories, all not so great relationships.
It was a common thread and I couldn’t help but wonder: would a not-so-great story make for a better relationship? These are the things you start thinking when you’ve had about as many failed relationships as Carrie Bradshaw.
So I tried online dating and hey, my theory panned out! Coincidence? Likely, but who knows!
My current relationship is great, the story of how we met, not so much.
“How did you guys meet?” people ask.
“On the internet,” I reply.
The most boring answer I’ve ever given.
It’s not enough for most people. Within moments of meeting my boyfriend, my aunt was scolding us for not having a good enough How We Met story. “You gotta have a story! We love stories in this family!” Chill out! I wanted to yell. We haven’t been dating long enough to master the routine of telling this tale!
That was in July. Now summer is over and we’ve been dating long enough that I should have a solid sketch of How I Met My Boyfriend…
Thing is, it’s not exactly an easy tale to tell. It’s a long, somewhat awkward story. The kind that’s not uncommon among New York millennials but might sound crazy to those unfamiliar with the ridiculous mating rituals of the concrete jungle. My aunt wouldn’t appreciate it…but she doesn’t read my blog.
Here’s How We Met
I met my boyfriend on the dating site OKCupid. He went to school for classical music and we shared the dorkiest opera jokes before we even met. Did you hear the opera about the frat house where they throw a wicked party and one chick dies? La Bro-heme? What would’ve sent another women running for Westchester had me tickled and excited to meet him. When we met in person, I enjoyed our first date so much I actually ran down the block to kiss him at the end of it. I wrote all about that date on the blog, you can read the full story here:
I think I’m supposed to just leave it there, actually. When telling the How We Met story, I am expected to leave it as a happily-ever-after, fairy tale beginning. Encouraged to edit the real-life parts where he completely rejected me after our great first date, saying he’d become exclusive with someone else. Keep to myself the fact that I still thought about that date for months, even occasionally checking his dating profile to see it was active again… Omit the absolutely truth that the minute I’d finally stopped thinking about him and started dating someone else was, naturally, the same minute he texted me – four months after that first date.
But those awkward, complicated parts are really the best part of the story! They’re the parts someone could actually learn a lot from. Perhaps even glimmers of hope to people wading through the tedious sludge of online dating.
What can you learn from the awkward, real life story of How I Met My Boyfriend?
1. If you have a connection with someone, you owe it to yourself to give them second chance.
2. ALWAYS assume the people you date are dating other people as well. Simply assume this, and don’t take it personally, until it’s communicated otherwise.
3. If you’re still thinking about a girl 4 months after you met her, you have to text her. It doesn’t matter how awkward it feels. You have to take the chance she’s still thinking about you too.
4. If you have the urge to kiss someone at the end of a first date, go for it. Even if it means running down the street to catch them.
I know what you’re thinking…. I’ve watched people’s faces as I tell this story and it’s written all over them: “Oh great, Mary Lane’s dating another jerk. Will she ever learn!?” I almost need to leave out the real parts, other wise my boyfriend easily comes off as a player douche bag. The bro who dates allllll the girls, falls for one, and then comes crawling back when he gets dumped. Ugh, don’t date that New York cliché, Mary Lane!
I’m not. I promise. It’s been almost six months, I know him well enough now to know for sure he is absolutely not that Douche Cliché.
A Douche Cliché is someone who would scoff and say that men only read my blog because they think I’m hot. And then there’s my boyfriend:
He sent this with no prompting. I swooned. And thanked my lucky stars I gave him that second chance and trusted my gut instead of easily writing him off as just another Douche Cliché…
What’s your How We Met story? If you’ve been telling it for years, do you have it down to a science? Do you leave out the not-so-cute parts or tell it like it is?
Love this post. That text your boyfriend sent at the end is so lovely ?❤
This is a great read. I don’t see many blog posts like this so I really enjoyed it. I’m currently single so do not have a how we met story but I love reading others!
Your boyfriend seems like a nice guy. It’s kind of funny because I had this discussion with my friend just the other day. She met her boyfriend on Tinder and while I’ve tried almost every single dating app/site, it just isn’t for me. (This prompted my recent post: http://girlingamba.com/meet-someone-the-old-fashioned-way)
Ultimately, I do want the “how we met” story to be really cute but I find something very personal about meeting people in person. Online dating is just way too much like ordering from a menu. I love the lessons you give. It’s very true!
Girl In Gamba recently posted…Where To Meet Someone The Old Fashioned Way
This is so cute! Love a good story and one that’s not your typical story!
Jessica & James | http://www.foodandbaker.co.uk / http://www.foodandbakertravels.co.uk
Jessica & James recently posted…Review: Sakagura London – Mayfair, London
Ah I loved this story! SO much more relatable and ‘real’ than the polished fairy-tale beginnings! Definitely not as awkward to read as you may feel telling it!
Tara xo
http://taradaniella.com/
I loved this post and to be honest I think that’s a great ‘how we met’ story! It’s definitely making making me think about how my boyfriend and I met!
PaleGirlRambling xo
Rachael recently posted…Products Not Worth The Hype
This was really interesting and entertaining to read! Sadly I don’t have a lot of experience in dating but I met my boyfriend in the karaoke room at an anime convention. Now we’re a couple for 2,5 years. I tried lovoo just for fun but never met a guy who would be worth dating. ?
Faerie Kanon recently posted…Lolita Outfit timeline ~ Part 2
Loved reading this post! Like you I love “how we met” stories and I wish my next “how we met” will be as great as you stories! Because even if there were some little “not so great” parts, that’s what makes it even greater (in my opinion) 😀 fingers crossed I have a great story to tell soon lol, my other weren’t so great, but if I look for details I could tell a great “how we met” story I think.. Will keep you story telling techniques in mind ^^ x
Kirsty
http://www.corinneandkirsty.com
Kirsty recently posted…Style up the denim jacket
Hi, I loved reading this post and the comments about how we met through the boyfriend history, my favourite one the shortest response, the internet.
Chloe recently posted…Review of Tick Tock Earl Grey Rooibos Tea
I honestly enjoy reading your posts, and this one is a great and cute post! I think most of our older relatives wouldn’t understand much, but it is a modern world now. We do have internet. Even though there are quite a lot of weirdos online, but some are actually even better than we meet everyday in real life. I’ll be another year older soon and I think it’s my cue now to stop thinking about what others would think, but rather, start thinking about what and who really makes me happy. The rest can bugger themselves off. Aha. Anyway, I hope he’ll continue making you swoon for a long time 😉 x
Ain recently posted…Hyde Park In Summer
This was great! That text at the end…WOW. To send that unprompted is unreal! He sounds very self-aware and the thing that’s so lovely to me is that it means he’s thinking of you and how to support you/make you happier even when you’re not around. Sounds like a keeper! <3
Lauren recently posted…Where to Find the Best Paleo, Whole30, and Keto Recipes
I actually met my partner on the internet as well. and Ive never been happier, shes all kinds of weird and crazy, but shes my all kinds of weird and crazy
really cool post
I’m having a good laugh over ‘things that send most women running for Westchester!’
But I’m totally in favor of boring ‘how we met’ stories. There’s a scene in the movie Up where the little boy is talking about doing things with his dad, and he says ‘sometimes it’s the boring stuff that matters most’ (or something to that effect) and I wholeheartedly agree. No how we met story is better than getting a text like your BF sent out of the blue!!
xx
Emily
Thoroughly Modern Emily recently posted…Purple and Gold
I’m a sucker for cute “how we met” stories too, but they never worked out IRL for me. My husband and I met in the boringest way possible, but hey, we’ve been happily married for 28 years, so I guess it didn’t matter in the end. I don’t think your story is boring though, I think it’s cool that you actually reconnected after your first date because you both saw potential.
First of all, I LOVE – love love love – that text he sent you. He is a keeper.
Also, I absolutely wholeheartedly hear you on the cool story. I don’t have one, either. My dude & I met online too — Twitter, to be exact! I GUESS in some ways it’s cool how he found me and what drew us together, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of people who have a cooler/more interesting story than that. But at the end of the day, what matters is after years of dating in New York — you and I seem to have met some good ones. Who cares how? 🙂
I think that’s a great story of how you met 🙂 especially since he texted 4 months later. It’s was probably unexpected and exciting