Happy Earth Day from NYC!

I was on a date last week and we were walking down Madison Avenue when I let out a shriek. It was a shriek of glee. It had nothing to do with my date. In fact my shriek was followed by me bolting across the street, away from my date. I was running the red light, running towards flower pots. Flower pots that had been empty yesterday but when my eye landed on them from across the street, it was clear they were empty no more! I’d made out orange, yellow, and maybe pink from across the street. As my sprint came to a screeching halt in front of the concrete container there were all the colors in vivid detail. “Sorry!” I yelled to my date, “They planted tulips! I love tulips!”

The man looked at me like I was crazy. Like he didn’t think this was in any way cute, not in the least bit charming, just ridiculous. In a bad way, not a ridiculously fun! way.

“I love tulips more than I’ll ever love you.”

Okay, I didn’t actually say that. But I sort of thought it. If you can’t understand why spring flowers are worth shrieking about, it’s really never going to work out between us.

ml-flower-love — I gotta have standards, flower power standards.

My love for flowers knows no bounds, not red lights, not cross walks, nothing. And on this Earth Day it seems appropriate to celebrate the beautiful pieces of nature that make their way into this concrete jungle. Earth, you are awesome. This weekend I’m making a point to get out of the city to celebrate and appreciate you more. But know that I do my part every day to admire you, respect you, and yell at my roommates when they forget to recycle!

Happy Earth Day!

If you want to check out some amazing shows of earthly splendor right in NYC check out:

The Brooklyn Botanical Garden This weekend is their Sakura Matsuri festival, celebrating Japanese traditions and cherry blossoms (here’s the map to see when the trees are in full bloom).

The Conservatory Garden It is completely free to visit in Central Park and holds the distinction as a “quiet zone” in this bustling town. When the cherry blossoms bloom (now should be nearing peak time!) they create brilliant pink flower tunnels.

Coney Island at Sunrise Is so insanely pretty, it’s almost hard to believe. We’re talking a Grand Canyon level of earthly splendor and for the small price of waking up disgustingly early and sitting on the subway for an hour plus.

14 Reasons You Should Watch “The Jane Games” Webseries

Hey guys, this secret’s out.

There is a webseries you should check out called The Jane Games. Why should you? Well, not just because I’m in it (but yes, I am), here let me give you plenty of reasons-

1 You love a good modernization of Jane Austen’s work.

Especially since they’ll never make a sequel to Clueless.

2 A mash-up of high brow and low brow intrigues you. The Jane Games puts Jane Austen’s characters competing together on reality TV.

Sophistication meets guilty pleasure. Flask meets tea cup.

3 After this year’s Oscars, you can’t wait to see more women in the entertainment industry. Like literally can not wait. Like it needs to happen now.

This show features the work of amazing creative ladies in its writing, directing, and leading roles. (But don’t worry there are fellas in it too!)

4 You like shows that are funny, sweet, full of mischief and heart.

As sweet and hilarious as a face full of cake! (The face is Jane Austen’s, played by Lori Kee)

5 You love the drama of reality TV.

Yep, there’s crying AND throwing things! This has gotta be good! This is our Anne Elliot (played by series co-creator Laura Riley).

6 But you also like the awkwardness and sincerity of real life that reality TV is usually too contrived to show.

A broccoli bouquet is the most awkward and adorable thing ever. Here you have Emma (played by Beth Devlin) and her “brother-like-man”, George (Paul Corning Jr.).

7 (Speaking of awkward and adorable) You love all things nerdy.

Cat Morland (Kristie Wortman) and Henry Tilney (Will Cooper), reimagined as nerdy gamers, might be the cutest couple on the show.

8 You like giving new shows a spin.

But…it’s easier if you already know you love the characters. Like hippy-dippy Marianne Dashwood (Nora Gustuson) twirled by the mysterious “player” (Logan James Hall).

9 Growing up you loved discovering new stories, you were always that kid with your nose in a book.

You read Pride and Prejudice before you watched Bridget Jone’s Diary.

10 You love big, romantic gestures.

And “shipping” couples. You might find yourself rooting for couples that never met in Austen’s books!

Lizzie Bennet (played by series co-creator Jennifer Teska) and Col. Brandon Ryan (Ryan Farley) had some people shipping Brannet after this dance routine!

11 You want to see me play the classic reality TV villain.

It’s not just the editing, my character, Mary Crawford, is a total bitch!

12 There is, and will always be, more room for Mr. Darcy in your life.

Even if he can’t be played by a young Collin Firth. If you give him a try, I wager Luke Wise (playing Darcy on the right) won’t leave you missing Firth.

13 Your ideal entertainment is like wine at an open bar: smooth, boosts your mood, and FREE.

Yep, the series is all on Youtube where you can watch it FOR FREE! See just how horrible this date between Mary (me!) and Edmund Burtrum (Ryan Bender) is for freeeeee!

14 Here’s a reason- If you don’t watch, I might throw tea in your face!

or maybe I’ll creep on you until you succumb to viewing!

or maybe I’ll just lay into you with my bitchiest, mean girl insults!

Okay, am I actually going to follow through on any of those threats?

NO.

But give it a watch, you might just fall in love-

with The Jane Games!

There are over 17 episodes currently out now, with more coming every Thursday! Check out the first episode below, or on The Jane Games Youtube channel!

I had a ton of fun making these gif, they’re all from episodes of the show!

April 14, 2015March 19, 2017

Tom Fruin Stained Glass House on the Brooklyn Waterfront

This weekend was warm and sunny and beautiful. New Yorkers left their apartments in droves. Anyone who wasn’t bedridden was outside. I opted for a trip to Brooklyn Bridge Park.

brooklynbridge-water-taxi — Remember how much I love the water taxi?

It was a perfect day to finally check out Tom Fruin’s Kolonihavehus.

This plexiglass art piece has brightened the Brooklyn water front all winter. Being a huge fan of color, I’ve wanted to see it all winter, but couldn’t bring myself to make the trip in the cold. Well, waiting was worth it!

This outdoor sculpture has been all over Europe since 2010 and now it’s in NYC. Back in September, apparently there was a performance art piece that partnered with the stained glass house. Now it stands on its own, in all it’s rainbow, translucent, colorful glory.

When I arrived, it was in partial shadows from the Brooklyn Bridge. I had no problem waiting and watching the sun pass through the panels, enjoying the changing view.

One of the panels was loose. I watched many little kids wish to climb in, but none of them went through all the way. None of them wanted to be so on display, their skin color warped by the shadows. This girl stuck her head in- that’s as far as she got.

Who knows, maybe it was intentional, maybe that’s part of the piece! It certainly added an element of intrigue and risk to the surface beauty. I stuck my hand in the hole to capture a picture.

Behold, the view from inside the Tom Fruin Stained Glass House! Very similar to the view achieved by peering through the walls. Although it is unadulterated by the crowds of people on the promenade.

That’s the Manhattan Bridge through the north side of the house. Not as famous as the Brooklyn Bridge but much better for biking!

And for duck sightings! At least today. The duck is my spirit animal- cute, quiet until surprisingly loud quacks erupt from their bills. Kinda funny when they walk, but oh so graceful when they swim. We don’t put up with your shit, ducks bite you know. Try to chase us, you’ll never catch us.

What? I hold no resemblance to a duck? I didn’t say I looked like one!

How are you still thinking about ducks when my legs are on display? Yes, my BARE legs! It’s the first bare leg day of the season! They may be pasty, but my legs are so happy to be released from the tubing of pants and tights!

I tried to find an end date for the display of Tom Fruin Stained Glass House at this location in Brooklyn. I couldn’t find one! Maybe it’s here indefinitely! Or at least through the summer! If you’re in town or planning a visit, definitely check it out! And walk across the Brooklyn Bridge while you’re at it- fun no matter how many times you do it.

Hope your week is off to a bright and colorful start! (Ugh, in spite of tax day tomorrow! Blehhh.)

April 13, 2015February 1, 2017

Never Trust A Man Who Knows All the Right Things to Say

I write a post about a great second date everyone is so supportive and nice. I got so many comments from you all saying how excited for me you were!

There were lovely tweets.

@NewYorkCliche so excited for you!!

— Zoë Gulliksen (@bookishbelle) April 10, 2015

There were giddy Facebook comments.

There were the sweetest blog comments.

They were all amazing. Thank you guys so much.

For every comment and tweet, message and “Like” I received for my recent blog post A Tall, Dark, and Handsome Second Date, I felt a twinge of guilt.

zing2 — This is the sound of each twinge of guilt!

I wanted to reply to each one immediately NO! Don’t get excited for me! Please! Stop! It’s not worth it! I know because I lived it! I was taking you all for a ride. Just like my date had taken me for a ride. But that’s what my blog is, I suppose. My life in NYC with you along for the ride.

I got excited about a boy after a great second date. You got excited right along with me.

Unfortunately the truth is after that great second date, I never saw him again.

I know, it was pretty disappointing for me, too.

I’m sorry I have to share that with you, take you for a ride that just ends abruptly, in didn’t-see-it-coming disappointment! Ugh. I hate disappointing people! I’m sorry! I wish he had asked me out again! I wish I was still seeing him! I wish he was the love of my life!

Except he was a dude who just wanted to get in my pants. What a lame cliché.

I wish this story had a happy ending.

I almost wish I could make one up, at least give it an interesting ending. Nope. I’ve gotta be honest.

Years ago, my cousin gave me some dating advice. I’ve never forgotten it:

“Never date anyone who is too rich, too good-looking, or knows all the right things to say.

If they are rich, they believe money will buy anything. Including you. If they are good-looking, they know good and well there’s another woman waiting right around the corner. And if they know all the right things to say, you can be damned sure they’ve been practicing them somewhere long before they met you.”

I wouldn’t say my tall, dark, and handsome date was too good-looking. He was quite attractive but no one was scouting him for magazine covers or underwear ads. His shoes weren’t nice enough for him too have been too rich. But he definitely knew all the right things to say.

While on our second date he mentioned making plans for the weekend. That’s just the right thing to say, what every girl wants to hear, right? Well I didn’t hear anything from him until Sunday afternoon when he texted me, asking me if I wanted to come over to his apartment.

That was it, the opportunity for a Latin lover dangling right in front of my nose.

Well, it turns out I don’t want a Latin lover.

I want a boyfriend.

There, there! I fucking wrote it for all the world wide web to see! I WANT A BOYFRIEND.

I’ve enjoyed my casual dating and “seeing where things go” and la la la the hint of anything serious freaks me out! Really, I have. But right now….I….I…want something more serious. Do you understand how hard that is for a New York Cliché to admit? It’s a pain like unto the screeching of a thousand subway brakes!

But there it is. It’s what I want. I don’t want booty calls on Sunday afternoons! (This is the second time with that! Does something about me scream “wants booty on Sunday afternoons”??) I want a boyfriend. And thus-

April 10, 2015April 10, 2015

I Heart Public Art: Gazing Globes in Madison Square Park

You’re walking down the street, just minding your own business, when WHAM. You walk straight into an art display that looks like it’s in a museum. You have to stop and look at it, marvel that you get to run into world class art in this city. No wonder New Yorkers are notoriously late. “Sorry, I had to stop and oogle at something really freakin’ cool that I saw on the street,” is not a valid excuse. It should be.

Spring is public art season ’round these parts. As if we needed another reason to love spring! Madison Square Park is the most reliable. I’ve never seen this park without an exhibit. After avoiding walks all January, February, and most of March, I finally went for a walk through Madison Square Park this week. What I saw I liked so much I made it a point to visit again!

Paula Hayes’ Gazing Globes sit on the south west side of the park facing the Flatiron Building.

18 circular spheres rest on pedestals. Each contains an assortment of “remnants of contemporary culture”- pieces of discarded electronics, industrial materials, acrylic wands. The final touch is a sprinkling of “fairy dust made of pulverized CDs.” Each globe is different and to me they bring to mind how a snow globe might look if you put it in the microwave. Or maybe a nuclear winter.

They look even cooler at night, which was why I had to make to Madison Square Park strolls in one week.

The Gazing Globes are only one display through April 19th. If you’re anywhere in the area between now and then, I highly recommend walking through them! There is another art piece by Teresita Fernández in Madison Square Park that you can catch at the same time. It may still be a work in progress, it’s official date isn’t until April 30th. But I saw it! It’s there now and scheduled to be through January 2016! For more public art in store for NYC, see this great list from Huffington Post.

April 9, 2015September 3, 2015

A Tall Dark and Handsome Second Date

Continued from this previous post.

I had a boyfriend in high school who was half Brazilian. You never would have guessed it looking at him, he was about as pasty as any white boy you can find in Northern California. You never would have guessed it talking to him, because, well, people don’t often embody giant clichés. Well, unless you’re talking about me. I 100% embodied the cliché of the WASPy teenage girl who thinks saying she had a Latino boyfriend was just the coolest. Totes bad ass.

Fortunately I’ve grown up since then.

Sort of.

Now I’m on a second date with a Latino man. I no longer think that’s bad ass. No, I’ve graduated to a new cliché, thinking it’s sexy. I mean come on, he invited me to a Mexican restaurant in Brooklyn where he gets to tell me what platanos rellenos is. I get to blush because I know I’ve mispronounced it so badly. He and our very attractive waitress speak to each other in perfect Spanish but it’s as plain as our plantain appetizer that he’s not flirting with her. He’s flirting with me.

*Ladeeda a tall, dark, and handsome Latino man is flirting with me!*

We finish dinner and head for Union Hall, an event space in Park Slope. I suggested this part of the date and I’m slightly nervous about it. We’re going to see a story-telling show that I wanted to check out but have never been to. Will it be a good show? Will it be a good date? I have no idea, but I hedged my bets. I’ve decided that it’s important to me that I date someone who likes exploring New York City events. Someone who thinks sitting in a small basement room in Brooklyn, watching people from various walks of life get up on a small stage is a valid way to spend an evening.

The show ends up exceeding expectations. I can be overly critical of performing artists but I have nothing bad to say. During intermission my date kisses me on the cheek and says “This is fun. I’m glad you suggested this.” It is a memorable cheek kiss. Milliseconds longer than a peck but nowhere near the ew-what-are-you-doing-to-my-face zone. It’s a deliberate, sensual kiss on the cheek. I’d never experienced such a kiss before, didn’t even know they existed.

He’s not my Latino boyfriend. He’s not my Latin lover. Yet? He’s my sexy date from Costa Rica who has all the moves.

Oh yeah, this guy is smooth.

He puts his arm around me right before the second half of the show starts. He does it with a confidence that no arm reaching for my shoulder has had before. What’s sexier than confidence?

What guy makes a cheek kiss sexy? I mean, can we marvel at that for a minute? Yeah….this guy knows what he’s doing.

The show ends and we walk together toward the subway. Y’all know I hate kissing in subway stations. But it’s the reality of dating in NYC. Our first kiss, the first one that’s caught me so off guard, happened in a subway station. But maybe this guy’s read my blog because before we arrive at the subway station, my date interrupts the conversation we’re having. “I’m sorry, I have to interrupt,” he says. Then he steps of to the side of the Brooklyn sidewalk and pulls me towards his lips.

*Yippee! (I wonder how to say “yippee” in Spanish…)*

That cheek kiss was nothing compared to this.

It’s a little side street in Brooklyn, I don’t have to worry about the crowds of pedestrians passing us. I can get lost in this kiss. My mind becoming cloudy, like mists circling Costa Rican mountains. I think that idea of mist comes from aerial footage shown in Jurassic Park. Maybe I’m making it up. The point is, you can’t think straight after a kiss like this.

Our lips part. We’re both smiling. “You’re a good kisser,” he says. Isn’t that what every girl wants to hear? “Hm. I was going to say the same thing.”

On the subway traveling back to Manhattan we sit holding hands. “Are you free this weekend? When can I see you?” Aren’t those the words you hope every great date ends with? It’s enough to make a girl giddy, to waltz back to her apartment and announce to her roommates a statement so rarely uttered by singles in this city: Guys, I just had a great date.

April 6, 2015March 24, 2016

Bonnets ABlazing at the NYC Easter Parade

The NYC Easter Parade and Bonnet Festival, one of my favorite New York events, flooded 5th Avenue with spring-time fashion and festivity yesterday. You’re unfamiliar with this fabulous event? Prepare yourself for more color then you’ve seen all winter. Here’s what it’s about, you’ll see why I love it so much!

It is a joyful celebration of spring!

A vibrant stage for creativity.

nyc-easter-parade-star — Some stages need stage hands so nothing falls off!

A giant canvas, over 10 city blocks, to display art.

nyc-easter-parade-art — This man hand painted and costumed every egg on this hat. Yes, their eggs! He said one broke when someone accidentally bumped into him!

A runway for avant-garde fashion to be admired.

easter-parade-nyc-fab — I can’t decide which of these ladies I want to be when I grow up.

The parade is unavoidable if you attend a service at any of the numerous churches along 5th Avenue.

nyc-easter-parade-classic — I want to post this picture on my online dating profile with the caption: “Must be willing to become this couple in 50+ years”. I love them so much.

While it is an “Easter” parade, it’s hardly religious in any way. Except when a guy decided to show up dressed like Jesus.

nyc-easter-parade-jesus — Yeah…I’m not sure how I feel about this guy…but he certainly drew a lot of attention.

Anyone can show up and be a part of the festivities.

He was at last years parade too! I think he’s a known New York eccentric. Maybe you could call it performance art?

Some take the fabulous excuse to wear a super-fabulous Halloween costume again.

nyc-easter-parade-costume — I’m dying to know what Halloween party they went to. Also where they went to brunch after the parade. And where the best club in Chelsea/Hell’s Kitchen is.

Others see a friendly place to socialize a pet rabbit.

nyc-easter-parade-roxie — The rabbit’s name is Roxie. With an “ie”. Hashtag #roxie. She’s 8 months old and so soft.

It’s a perfect opportunity to promote an agenda.

nyc-easter-parade-marie — Homage to Marie Antoinette and the 1%. Did she were this outfit in Zuccotti Park?

Or promote a web series!

easter-parade-jane-games — The cast and creators of The Jane Games webseries! Hey look, that’s me on the right!

This was the 3rd year I’d been to the parade but my 1st time actually wearing a hat! I’m in a web series called The Jane Games. The show puts the heroines of Jane Austen’s novels into the world of reality TV: drama, hilarity, and competition. Two of the episodes feature a bonnet design challenge.

Yes, we actually wore these bonnets on the show! It seemed only proper to give our hats another outing on the streets of NYC!

Spoiler alert: My character, Mary Crawford from Mansfield Park, wins the bonnet challenge. Her prize is a dinner date with an eligible bachelor. So if you can watch the show you can see me on a date! You can find full episodes and check out the series at thejanegames.com and on youtube.

“I’m so bringing back bonnets.”

Let me tell you, wearing a bonnet was such a different experience than just observing the parade like I had in the past. Cameras were every where, constantly flashing. I said before, participants get a celebrity treatment of sorts at this parade, an Easter taste of what it’s like to have the paparazzi on your every move. If I looked at my phone to send a tweet, people would still photograph me!

So many people posed for pictures with us, we got to meet so many lovely people. Even a couple of fans showed up! We were interviewed for a podcast, fortunately the whole cast has a comedy improv background so we’re just as good with words as we are posing for pictures! While we were feeling like celebrities in front of all the camera, the biggest celebrity at the event was behind a camera. Bill Cunningham, the famed NY Times fashion photographer, comes to this parade every year. He took a picture of us! I doubt we’ll ever see it (or most of the hundreds of pictures that were snapped of us) but still it was very cool. Perfectly New York Cliché.

It’s fun finding photos on social media! This is why I love hashtags!

This Instagram is from an artist who drew a sketch of three of us! “It like the time that guy sketched you in Lincoln Center,” said my cast mate who plays Anne Elliot (she also co-wrote the show). “Ha! Yes it is!” I replied, “I love you for referencing my blog!”

There was one more celebrity I would run into that day. Well, he might only be a celebrity to me and maybe other Easter Parade enthusiasts. The one thing I talked and blogged and posted most about last year was the guy who made himself a mohawk out of peeps!

Well, he was there again this year. But barely recognizable! Without the peep-hawk! I was pretty proud of myself for recognizing him without it. I think he and his lady friend got a kick out of it too. She really upped the anti from last year, her fish head hat is quite a statement piece!

Because I participated this year, I really felt like I didn’t get to see as much as in years past. Which is undeniably true. But I still saw quite a lot! Creativity, art, and expression are easily my 3 favorite things on god’s green earth.

nyc-easter-parade-intricate — These bonnets were true works of art, I hope you can tell from the picture! The detailing on the dolls was impressive.

Theatricality, costume, color, flowers, and fashion would also make it into my personal parody of My Favorite Things. So this parade is my perfect cup of tea. When the dog bites, when the bee stings, I simply look back on my posts on the Easter parades- 2013, 2014, and now this year- and then I don’t feel so bad!

Yeah, I just riffed on The Sound of Music. Maybe you hated it, but I bet these guys would sing it along with me at Marie’s Crisis!

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend whether you celebrated or not! What was your favorite bonnet from my collection of snapshots? It’s hard to pick, right?