See my face in the crack of the window? But you can’t hear is my voice shrieking for help! (All acting, don’t worry.)
Time flies when you’re having fun. So goes the cliché.
For a week, Time whizzed by me like of a cabbie streaking down a deserted West Side Highway in the wee hours of the morn.
It rocketed passed me with the speed of a pigeon diving for an abandoned pretzel.
In this freezing month of January, Time put on ice skates and lapped me, and all those training for speed skating in Sochi, twice.
This past fall I was cast in a web series. This past week filming began. The days were long, actors arriving in the morning and leaving 12 hours later. I could feel the time in my body, I fell into bed exhausted every night. Yet the time span didn’t comprehend in my mind. My character didn’t wear a watch and ticking clocks are a sound guy’s worst nightmare. I found myself constantly saying, What, it’s lunch already? Really? Wait, how is it dark outside? When did it get that late? No way, we spent three hours filming that? Are you serious? I can’t tell you where the days went. It’s all a blur. A blur caught on film. Yes, time does flies when you’re having fun and I was having a blast.
Time flies when you’re in your element, when you’re doing what you love. What you’re meant to do? That I’m not so sure of. Show business, the merciless motherf-cker, kicks my ass. It’s hard, so hard. I might have all the passion in the world for the show but if I don’t have the balls for the business, who cares? I flounder, a teeny tiny fish in a huge pond, and even breath-taking talent for swimming won’t keep me from drowning. (Too much metaphor?)
These are doubts that plague my thought. When I’m in front of a camera, when I’m performing in front of people, my mind is freed from them. Give me a character and I’m transported to another frequency, free of all my own bullshit. Elastic, quick-witted, bursting with inspiration and innovation. Electric. Elevated. The director calls cut and we leave our other worldly existence. Back to a reality of second guessing- Was that the best I could have done that scene? I totally kept fucking up that line! I could have made a better choice! Bleh. But then the moments to live for; nothing beats the feeling of Holy shit, I rocked that.
I’ve never done much on camera work before. I’ve stuck to being a stage actress. I’m such a sucker for the energy of a live audience. I feed off of it like a mortal feasting on ambrosia. Devour it like a blood starved star of The Vampire Diaries. Camera work was a different experience for me. One I was surprised to enjoy so greatly. By the time we wrapped, I held a handful of moments where I found myself thinking, Wait, I’m actually good at this! Question mark? A question that will be answered this spring when the series is released to the world-wide web.
If I hear enough interest from you guys, I’ll strongly consider sharing this web series with you. It’s delightful, funny, written by two very talented and lovely ladies. Really, it’d be a shame for me not to. What do you say?