Crying in Public in New York on my Birthday!

One Saturday night in mid July, I achieved a New York trifecta.

I cried on a city bus.

I cried on the subway.

I cried in the back of a cab. 

I pour my sweat (hello heat wave) and tears into this city! On every form of public transportation!

It wasn’t an epic, unending flood of tears but rather fits and starts. I’d think I was done, drained the last reserves of my tear ducts, then start all over again.

Crying in public in New York City: no doubt a New York cliché

Want to achieve this I’m-a-REAL-New-Yorker-Now! trifecta? Of course you do! I’ll tell you exactly what I did, so you can too!

Step 1: Be a chronically late person. The sort of person who considers herself successful when she’s only 5 minutes late. The friend who gets told a fake arrival time, 15 minutes ahead, so that she arrives only 5 minutes late. You always show up sweaty and out of breath because you ran the last couple blocks. You’re that girl.

Step 2: Decide to celebrate you birthday on a party boat! You score press tickets for an electronic dance music (EDM) party on a boat. It will cruise around the East River exactly when the clock strikes midnight for your birthday. You’re turning 29 on a Saturday night, you have to do something a little crazy, this is perfect!

Step 3: Decide to work an event in New Jersey the evening of the boat cruise. It’s only a 15 minute bus ride from Manhattan,  the event ends at 8:30PM, the boat leaves at 10PM, it’s perfect timing! What could possibly go wrong?

Step 4: Finish your event at 8:30PM, waltz through the parking lot toward the buses that leave every 20 minutes. Everything’s working out just dandy!

Step 5: Step on up to a bus that’s dark, but the drivers sitting in the seat. Ask him when he’s leaving. Here him say, “Not until the event is over.” Stare at him dumbfounded. Say something dumb like, “Wait, what? Huh? J/K right?” He is not J/K-ing.

Step 6: Tell him you were told by your employer that the bus would leave every 20 minutes. Watch him shrug, “No one’s gonna be getting on this bus until the event is over. I’m not driving an empty bus back to the city.”

Step 7: Breathe a sigh of relief. A group of your co-workers are right behind you, that’ll fill up the bus! Hooray!

Step 8: The group of coworkers arrives, but the driver still won’t let you on the bus. “I can’t leave unless there are 35 people.” You only have 26 assembled.

Step 9: Tell the bus driver it’s your birthday. Talk to his supervisor on the phone. Beg and plead with the entire bus company. Tell him you will pay the extra fare to make up for the lacking 9 people. Run around the parking lot trying to collect more people. TRY EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF. (Spoiler: NOTHING WORKS.)

Step 10: Download Uber and consider paying $200 to get a car to take you back to NYC. That’s more money than you made working this event.

Step 11: Collect 29 people. The bus driver finally lets you all on the bus. He says he’ll leave at 9:20PM.

Step 12: Sit on the bus, on a shitty, orange plastic seat, under awful fluorescent lighting, surrounded by 30 (one more just showed up) people you just worked with, but don’t know well at all, and feel completely helpless.

Step 13: Start to cry. Just before the bus leaves, so you look really, really stupid. Cry harder because you know you look really stupid, in front of all these people, many of whom you just supervised. You don’t care. You’re going to miss your party because of this stupid, stupid job. Why did you think this would work out? What’s wrong with you? Think every thought you possibly can that will keep the crying jag going. Once you start, why stop?

Step 14: Feel the bus finally leave. Cry harder because you’re so close. It’s 9:20PM, the boat leaves at 10PM. You’ll need a true transportation miracle to make it.

Step 15: Your contact slips out of your eye. One of your co-workers jumps up and brings her finger toward your eye, seeming to want to pull it off your face. Recoil in shock. Refrain from yelling, “Are you crazy? Don’t fucking touch my contact!”

Step 16: Get your contact back in your eye yourself.

Step 17: Everyone on the bus has been trying to ignore the fact that you were crying, but the weird contact move broke the tension. Explain the situation to the bus. Everyone’s attitude changes from, “Crazy Crying Chick” to “Unlucky Birthday Girl”. Suddenly 30 people are all offering their advice on the best transport route. “You still have a chance, you could still make it.”

Step 18: The bus pulls into Port Authority. The doors open and you dash down the escalator, your co-workers cheering you on, “Happy birthday, Mary Lane! You’re gonna make it!”

Step 19: Sprint through Port Authority like a crazy person.

Step 20: Arrive at the subway platform out of breath and HOLY SHIT it’s a subway miracle! The F train is pulling in! Just the train you wanted!

Step 21: Get on the train. Realize it is re-routed to the A train route because of weekend track work. Fuck. So much for a perfect miracle. It’s 9:40PM though, there is still hope!

Step 22: Sit on the subway. Feel hopeful. Decide to transfer at West 4th Street.

Step 23: Get off the train at West 4th. Wait for the D train to come.

d39437e0-8a13-0132-1dd4-0a2c89e5f2f5

Step 24: No subway miracle. The D train is not coming! WHAT TO DO!? Jump on the next train that arrives, it’ll get you closer and you can take a cab! For every minute that passes, rational thought becomes less and less possible.

Step 25: Feel the train stop in the tunnel. Listen to the announcement, “We are delayed due to train traffic ahead of us.”

Step 26: Look at the clock. 9:55PM. You’re not going to make it.

Step 27: Start to cry on the subway. This is the start of your birthday. Everything is awful.

 

Step 28: Get off the subway at 10:04PM. You’re late. The boat’s gone.

Step 29: Get in a cab. You feel like shit. Your birthday’s already ruined, how are you supposed to salvage the night from here? Start to cry in the cab. You have to go meet your friends but all you want to do right now is go home.

And that friends, is how I spent the last few hours of my 28th year crying in two states, on 3 different modes of transportation, in the presence of about 100 people.

But the story has a happy ending! When my cab pulled up to the dock, there was a huge line outside. The boat hadn’t left yet!! Everyone counts on tardiness in NYC! My friends met me with a box of macarons and helped me wipe the mascara off my face. I managed to recover from my “EVERYTHING IS RUINED” attitude with a little food, followed by a lot of booze, amazing views of the city skyline, and an hour on a crazy dance floor.

A birthday miracle: the lead up was horrible, but when the clock struck birthday, everything was great. And I’ll tell you all about the actual EDM dance party boat cruise tomorrow!

As much as I hate to admit, I think all the crying might imply I’m not exactly thrilled a year older…I’m not exactly where I want to be at 29. How’s that for a cliché? Here’s hoping I get there by 30!

Do you have any stories of crying in public in New York? Or in any other city? Birthdays that were salvaged at the last minute? I’d love to hear them!

Advertisements

Scenes from a New York City Summer

Summer in the City
(A Blog in Many Acts)

Act I: Brilliant Sunsets

Scene One

(A city street. The night is though humid, is beginning to cool. Upstage, the sky; the sun just beginning to set. A passer-by might remark, “oh that’s nice”. For every passing moment the sky grows more and more alive with color until deep, vivid, breath-taking, firey passion pours out across the heavens. Passers by now stop and stare before uniformly wiping out their phones to Instagram the perfect #nofilter image.)

IMG_3287

IMG_3298

Scene Two

(A world divided in two planes: as stark a contrast as Comedy and Tragedy.
Below sprawls the ugly, consumer, conforming parking lot of Metlife Stadium. Cars stack in rows upon rows, each more identical than the last. Aliens looking at this parking lot would think it was manufactured in a factory.)
Above clouds scatter the sky with the opposite of order, yet some how seem ideally placed. An atheist would look at this sky and the words, “god’s glory” pop into his mind. This is the sort of sky that started religious belief eons ago.)

Act II: Bodies of Water, Central Park

Scene One

(The dappled sun paths of the most iconic park in the world. Center stage, gigantic even to those in the cheap seats, is our star, the Jackie Onassis Reservoir. Brilliant and blue, she reflects the surrounding skyscrapers but above all the sky. Joggers encircle her like moths drawn to her watery flame. In the distance, as if cut out with blunt scissors: Manhattan. Greenery hugs our lady Jackie, a surrounding fence shields her from the concrete jungle out there.)

DSC_0344

Scene Two

(Twilight. The time of day, not the insipid book series. Lights up on lake in Central Park looks lovely and lonely. So similar to the 600,000 single ladies in the city. The ugly sister of Jackie O. Reservoir, she has no fence to protect her. Boats dip into her waters a hundred times a day, she never says no. Yet at this moment of twilight, she is fragile and beautiful, far more interesting that her perfectly manicured sister. Lights fade to black.)IMG_4014

Act III: Get-Away to Long Beach

Scene One

(The all-American beach of Long Beach, Long Island. Exactly an hour train ride from Manhattan, the sunbathers on this beach are chicer than those on Coney Island. The sand is clean, the water full of seaweed that disgusts city people, despite the sushi they ate just last night.  It is an all-American beach, with all the fixings: sand, surf, sun, life guards, colorful umbrellas, bikinis.)

IMG_4246

IMG_4254

FIRST INTERMISSION

Scenes from a New York City Summer will continue throughout the season

Mis-TAY-ken at the Taylor Swift 1989 Tour

I spent my weekend being told I look like Taylor Swift. 

A six year old girl pointed at me and said to her mom, “She looks exactly like her!”
A security guard said, “You’re been freaking me out. I thought you were Taylor Swift. Tell me you’re her sister or something.”
A man on an escalator yelled, “OMG IT’S TAYLOR SWIFT!” while his date look mortified.

A teenage girl saw me, shrieked, and started waving frantically. I looked behind me, thinking she was waving at a friend. There was no one behind me. I looked back at her and she was completely changed, pretending like nothing ever happened. My only explanation is she thought I was Taylor Swift.

So. Weird. I mean, I do write blog posts about being a better “ambassador to New York” than her and about how she saved my New Years! But I don’t actually look like Taylor Swift!

Right?IMG_4153
Right??
Shit. 

This weekend I realized my resemblance to Taylor Swift is borderline freakish. I should probably start a side-hustle as a Taylor Swift impersonator at Bat Mizvhas.

This realization occurred at her 1989 World Tour stop in New Jersey. (Yeah, the ambassador to New York doesn’t have a stop on her world tour in the actual city. Don’t get me started.) It was quite the scene!

Taylor Swift 1989 Tour fans (“Swifties”)

IMG_4124
They’re dressed up like Grammy awards, obvi. I don’t know how many Tay has won, but I’m guessing 7.

Like Comic Con with a  Taylor Swift theme! Thousands of people arrived dressed up in costumes they’d made. Homages to Swift lyric, characters from her music videos, or just decked out in cat clothing. Taylor loves cats. (Just like me. Shit.)

IMG_4122
Lots of crop tops! They knew what was coming– Taylor wore a crop top in 80% of her show outfits.
IMG_4035
I have no idea what is up with the hats- I didn’t ask- but they clearly took a long time to make!
IMG_4128
Tons of tutus too. These wings are pretty impressive too!
IMG_4129
I hope they put this up on Pinterest.

At first glance, it was easy to think, “Why are all these girls dressing up? This is so weird!” but after talking to some of the girls, I realized how cool it is. Inspiring creativity and art? Fucking awesome. Taylor, I’m impressed, way to go.

IMG_4138

Some people balk at her being a positive roll model for kids, but this sold me. Then she came out on stage in some pretty skimpy outfits, I thought about changing my mind. But no. I’m still sold. She’s doing some really great things for young girls.

IMG_4125

I never had a celebrity I worshipped. I never screamed with passion for someone and felt like my heart was going to burst I was so excited. And at 29, I’m pretty sure I never will. It makes me a little sad! Sure, it’s kinda annoying to see teens go nuts, but it’s also kinda cool.

IMG_4130

IMG_4143

IMG_4144

IMG_4134

IMG_4149

Say what you will about Taylor Swift, girl puts on a great show. And she works the shit out of her connections. The Weeknd came out as a surprise guest performance. Then during the song “Bad Blood” she entire cast of her music video (which she made to feature her best girlfriends, well, her best celebrity and primarily super model girlfriends) strutted on stage with her. STILL not enough- the U.S. Woman’s Soccer Team, freaking World Cup champions, came out on stage with her! They were in NYC for the parade, but Taylor got them on her stage. It was more GIRL POWER than anyone’s seen since the Spice Girls. IT WAS AWESOME.

Taylor Swift 1989 Tour Concert!

IMG_4106
World Cup Champions waving! You can kinda make out the US flags on the runway!
IMG_4113
Cast of “Bad Blood”. (Ugh, far away concert pics are always pretty terrible. This is the best I could do!)

I had a great time. I mean, I don’t know if I’d recommend spending hundreds of dollars on a ticket. I certainly wouldn’t recommend you bring a child under age 8 (there were plenty of younger kids). But if you can score free entry like I did, YOU HAVE to go next time she’s in town. Or at a city near you.

IMG_4156
Mary Lane or Taylor Swift? CAN YOU TELL!?!?
And if you keep telling me I look like Taylor Swift, I’m totally taking it as a complement.

30 Before 30: Last Chance for Cliché 20-Something Behavior

My birthday is this Sunday. I’m turning 29. I’ve already begun to feel the big 3-0 looming on the horizon. Only one more year of being a 20-something? EEK! Your 20s are the decade for making mistakes and not knowing what the fuck you’re doing with your life.

Your 30s? Not so much. As a 30-something certain things are way less socially acceptable. Behavior that’s seen as obnoxious from 20-somethings may be looked upon with judgment and downright distain in the next decade. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this, all the experiences I really NEED to do NOW. My last year to enjoy the excuse, I’M IN MY 20S, BITCHES!

So I made a 30 Before 30 list! Duh! It’s the perfect cliché thing to do!

30before30

1 Vomit in a public place

Bonus points if it’s in a cab or on the subway.

2 Dye my hair a completely unprofessional color

3 Drunkenly confess my love for someone

4 Kiss a girl to attract male attention

5 Make out with 2 people in one night

6 Join Tinder

While it’s still free! They charge people over 30!

7 Participate in Santa Con

I’ve previously referred to this as NYC’s most hated holiday tradition.

8 Do a keg stand

This will likely induce the vomiting required for #1! Two birds!

9 Dance on a bar

And not fall off and crack my head open. #ULTIMATECHALLENGE

10 Crash a wedding

Mega bonus points if I can pull of #5 with 2 groomsmen!

11 Get a random tattoo for no reason

12 Have sex in a bathroom stall

 

13 Wear booty shorts in public

Expose my cheeks to the city streets.

14 Couch surf

15 Go streaking

16 Throw a toga party

17 Ask my parents for money

18 Go to a music festival

 And wear a flower crown, #13, and bikini top #obvi #festivaluniform

19 FINALLY get my fucking drivers license

Yeah… I still haven’t done this… #newyorkcliche

20 Try a recreational drug

I think I know someone who could get me acid!

21 Attempt to wear killer heels out, give up by the walk home

Barefoot and wasted by night. Tetanus shot by day.

22 Subscribe to Cosmopolitan magazine

There better be an article “47 Ways to Drive Him Wild in a Bathroom Stall”! (See#12)

23 Break up with some one over text

 

Way better than ghosting!

24 Move back home with my parents

Tempting every winter as I’m from San Francisco.

25 Spend an entire day playing video games

26 Have a pregnancy scare

27 Go to the midnight screening of “The Hunger Games”

#TeamPeeta

28 Write a piece for Though Catalogue

It could totes be a version of this article!
Or maybe I’ll write “47 Ways to Drive Him Wild in a Bathroom Stall”

29 Wear a cliché slutty costume on Halloween 

A Sexy Pigeon #NewYorkCliche?

30 Travel the world

This one for real though…

You could argue a person can do whatever the fuck they want, no matter what their age! You could argue 29 is already too old for plenty of my list! I’m not here to argue, I’m not here to judge 40-year-olds who throw toga parties. I’m here to ask a very important question: Should I treat this as a bucket list and try tick off all 30 from the list before I turn 30? And blogs about each on I complete, chronicling my progress here? OR should I celebrate the fact I’ve made it to 29 without ever doing any of these?

The choice is yours, dear readers. I’m serious. If I get a positive response to make this a bucket list, I’ll do it with gusto. Tell me what you think in the comments! And let me know if you think there are things glaringly absent from my list!

You can also tell me on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook. And if you want to give me the best birthday present ever, share my blog on your social media channels. That would make me the happiest little blogger in the Big Apple. 

Guys, I don’t think I say it enough: Thank you so much for reading.

The Ultimate #FoodPorn Bonanza: The Fancy Food Show

Last week I got a golden ticket into New York’s biggest food convention. It has a great name: the Fancy Food Show. You know it’s fancy from the very first world!

This convention swarmed NYC’s Javits Center with well over a thousand booths featuring foods from all over the world.

javits-center
NYC’s Javits Convention Center

Willy Wonka didn’t greet me when I walked into the towering glass ceiling. But I sure felt like Charlie Bucket as I walked down the isle filled with amazing cheeses, vats of every kind of olive, strange pickled fish, beautifully decorated cakes, simmering sauce, and unbelievable frozen appetizers.

You can’t get in this convention unless you have a verifiable connection to the food industry. It’s way more exclusive than Comic Con! (It smells much better too.)

fancy food spider man
But Spiderman was there, a Comic Con throwback! He’s the mascot of a certain brand of hot cocoa.

Everyone is there for a reason beyond STUFFING THEIR FACE! NOM NOM NOM! Everyone is very professional and making important business connections.  Business owners finding new products for their establishments, manufacturers finding new ingredients, chefs drawing new inspirations. These are priorities.

CHEESE!!
Food matters again? Food has always mattered! Especially CHEESE!

Now, I was quite a minority with my priority which was very much NOMMMM!!! MUST TRY ALL OF THE FOODS!!! I’m the kid who would’ve fallen in the chocolate river and been hauled off by Oompa Loompas, were Roald Dahl in the driver’s seat.

fancy food show cakes
Or the kid in “Matilda” who eats the gigantic cake.

It’s a New York cliché to have a dietary restriction in this town. Everyone has one these days! But let me tell you, my Fancy Food experience made me so glad I’ve resisted this cliché.

I’ve never been so happy to not be lactose intolerant.

fancy food cheese
I would go to a cheese wheel museum. These are double works of art for the eyes AND the mouth!

Never so happy I’m not a vegetarian. (One in four people in NYC are!)

salami
Yes, that is the leg of a pig, and there are more hanging in the back ground. Id never seen anything like that before, you can just slice off prosciutto right off the bone. Whoa.

So thankful I’ll try pretty much anything. Especially if it’s pickled fish from Scandinavia.

IMG_3504
Like octopus and fresh anchovies. That anchovy flavor is insanely potent, let me tell you.

Oh! And gluten? BRING IT ON! Especially if it’s straight from Italy!

fancy food pasta
Ive never seen so many different kinds of pasta.

POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!

IMG_3780

THIS IS RICH!

pate
This is a display of pâté, folks. Who’s ever seen this much pâté in one place!? Freaking LOAVES of pâté!

I ate all the food, I shmoosed with all the foodies. Tried to take photographs of food…which unfortunately is not so easy with an iPhone.

Did I mention I have a major sweet tooth?

fancy-food-chocolate
Aren’t they lovely? If we just had 24-hour access to this case all our lady-problems would disappear!

Did I mention I left with a bag full of goodies? It was like trick-or-treating! On the last day exhibitors just started unloading their products on people so they wouldn’t have to cart them back on trans-atlantic and trans-continental flights.

fancy food show cakes

So I have all these goodies from all over the world, mostly snacks and sweets and thus non-perishables, and if they stay in my apartment, I’m never going to fit in my swim suit when I go on vacation later this month.

I’m kidding but I’m NOT kidding. YOU HAVE TO HELP ME. Help me by taking some off my hands!

Guess what that means? A give-away! A fancy food give-away! I’ve stuffed a flat-rate box full of these treats from all over the world and send it to one of you lovely readers! Leave a comment and share my blog on some sort of social media: that’s all you need to do to enter. Oh, that and be willing to give me your mailing address! Good luck! I’ll announce the winner on Monday 7/13!

IMG_3495
FYI my birthday’s this weekend and if you get me a cheese wheel…I certainly won’t complain…

If you want MORE #foodporn, check out the time I went to the Fancy Food Show in San Francisco!

 

Attend the Tale of Sweeny Todd: Outdoor Musical Theatre in Brooklyn

The sky was threatening, ominous and cloudy, as my group of friends entered Washington Park in Park Slope, Brooklyn. We plunked down our picnic blanket amidst the sea of others and kept our expectations low. It was probably going to rain. The production was probably going to be disappointing. None of us knew anything about the company, Piper Theatre Productions, but they were attempting to perform Sweeney Todd, a notoriously difficult piece of musical theatre, outside (for FREE!) in the middle of summer. “To attempt such a task, they must be insane! How can this possibly succeed?” That’s what we thought.

Oh how wrong, how terribly wrong we were!

DSC_0470

Piper Theatre Productions knew exactly what they were doing. I since learned they’ve produced free outdoor theatre in Washington Park every summer for the past 10 years! They’ve become so adept at this they were able to stage an impressive production of Stephen Sondheim’s tricky, enchanting, and sinister production of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street 

 

DSC_0454

In the dimming light we watched the stage lights come up, illuminating Sarah Edkins‘ minimal yet extremely efficient set. The full band played the opening notes and immediately the stage was swarmed with actors singing the frantic, syncopations of the ominous opening number. We’re told immediately this “musical thriller” is going to be dark and ugly. It’s only a matter of time before throats are slit by the silver razor of the demon barber of Fleet Street.

When??? When’s the blood bath going to begin?? And who are all these other  characters we meet first? What made this guy Sweeney crazy enough to kill people? What kind of name is Sweeney anyway? Wow, all these performers have truly great voices! This cast is really talented!

DSC_0458

Then get ready to fall in love the minute you meet Mrs. Lovett. Every one on my picnic blanket had massive girl-crushes on the talented actress playing this charismatic character, Hannah D. Scott from the minute she opened her mouth. We couldn’t get enough of her song about super disgusting baked goods!

So I was completely sucked into this production and the dirty world of its 19th century London setting. When a large rain drop fell smack on my nose I was so startled I almost cried out. No! No, rain! Why does this keep happening to me this summer!? The production halted. We held our breath in the audience and crossed our fingers, cowering under the waterproof side of our picnic blankets.

DSC_0482

Mercifully it was a short cloud burst. Hardly 10 minutes later the rain stopped and the production prepared to continue. All the kids of Piper’s large educational summer program were called up to the stage to help dry it off. Let me tell you, watching 30 teens armed with paper towels frantically wiping a stage is completely heart warming.

DSC_0472

 

Then we were back in the world of Sweeney Todd. Which was getting as dark as the sky. Pitch darkness soon enveloped the whole scene. In the most entertaining way possible, with perfectly timed moments of dark comedy. Even romance. The side plot of young love managed to avoid the trap of insipidness thanks to the talents of Sarah Ziegler and Christopher NolanErin Edelle (as the Beggar Woman), Tim Fitzsimons (as Pirelli), Ryan Kleess (as Tobias) all have wonderful moments in their performances.

DSC_0479

The ensemble is great as well, strong performances all around. But of course Hannah D. Scott and Adam LeBow (in the title role) carry the show. It’s no easy task to make a character disturbing, psychopathic, and sympathetic simultaneously. LeBow succeeds on all accounts, a performance that is crucial to the success of the entire show.

DSC_0501

There are still plenty of chances to catch Piper Theatre Productions Sweeney Todd : The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Performances all start at 8pm these next two weekends: July 9, 10, 11 and 16, 17, 18. It makes a great night, watching a great production under the stars. Don’t let the rain stop you! There were plenty of little kids at the performance I saw, so I could say it’s fun for the whole family…but I wouldn’t recommend it for children under 10. Over 10?

Go see this show! It’s creepy, delightful, masterful, and thoroughly entertaining.

DSC_0522

Before I would have said attempting an outdoor production of Sweeney Todd was almost as insane as murdering people and baking them into pies! What’s more insane than that? Probably making a musical out of a story of a murdering and baking people into pies! Fortunately it’s often the craziest ideas that produce the best results!

For further information and directions about for to get to the park, visit Piper Theatre’s website. 

Nothing in NYC is More Delightful than Boating in Central Park

There’s little I love more than New York summer nights. Nights where I have no real plans other than spending time with two of my best friends in the world. Nights where the sun doesn’t set until 8:30pm.

We all show up wearing matching outfits. We didn’t plan it, I swear!

IMG_3806

This sort of thing doesn’t just happen. We had it as a sign and take it to the next level: SO CUTE IT HURTS. Let’s go boating!

Cutest NYC Activity: Boating in Central Park

Boating in Central Park

If you ever in Central Park, do yourself a favor and decide, spontaneously, to go boating. Really, there’s nothing more delightful. Especially if you’re wearing matching outfits.

Boating in Central Park boats

The price of renting a boat for an hour in Central Park? $15
Watching your friends attempt to row? Priceless. 

Boating in Central Park rowing

 

IMG_3405

Times we heard someone singing, “Row, row, row, your boat…”: 1
It wasn’t us singing it! We swear! The bridge is completely ripped apart for construction so the acoustics were sorely lacking for singing!

Boating in Central Park bridge

This is the same bridge I stood on top of a sang to a boat below where a man was proposing to his girlfriend. Remember that? 

Rowing is not the easiest and if you’re three ladies who were last at a gym when Bloomberg was in office… you feel pretty accomplished moving the boat any distance. It’s just enough of a challenge. There was never a moment where I wished we were on a gondola instead, with a strong, straw-hatted man to paddle us around instead. 

Boating in Central Park gondola

But it’s nice to know it is an option! Also fun to watch from a distance!

Rowing a boat…that’s a daily exercise I could get behind… and at $15 for an hour, it’s actually cheaper than most yoga classes! Mark my words, NYC, after I publish this post, Boating in Central Park will become the next fitness craze. Suck it Soul Cycle!

Boating in Central Park New York Cliche

Has anyone ever looked this happy spinning? I don’t think so! 

IMG_3815
Am I actually burning any calories? Eh, whatever. You don’t go boating for the exercise. You go because it’s a hell of a good time. And because the view from the middle of the water in the middle of New York City is priceless.

IMG_3411

Boating in Central Park views

Boating closes at “dusk” which is about as vague a time there is. We got our boat around 6:30PM, when we got back after our hour, they weren’t letting any more boats on the lake. 

Boating in Central Park cute

Go boating in Central Park. You’ll see families of foreigners, couples on romantic dates, groups of pre-teen boys fighting over ores, and a giggling group of girlfriends in matching reds, who look so happy that some of that joy will rub off on you. 

Looking for a perfect NYC 4th of July activity? This is it! You can find more info in my previous post about boating in Central Park. If you want more boating options: I recommend FREE kayaking on the Hudson!
Have a marvelous long weekend, all who are state-side! And to my international readers, I bet you can cram just as much fun into your shorter break! Thanks for letting me share this boat ride with you!