STEP 1: Clear away the mess of clothes strewn over the chair and finally sit down at your desk to write. I’m going to do it! Get back in the game! I got this!

STEP 2: Realize this piece of furniture is a completely unsuitable working space (it’s been used exclusively as a dumping ground for weeks). Oh HELL yes! This is mad convenient! Cleaning is my favorite form of procrastination! Whoopee!

STEP 3: Clean that desk. Clean it like you’re a Roomba and it’s your singular function in life! I can’t stop at just the desk! Clean that bedroom like you’re at an open call for the inevitable live-action remake of Disney’s Cinderella! Might as well keep going, I’m in the groove! Clean the entire fucking apartment like you’re hosting brunch for your boyfriend’s entire extended family!

STEP 4: Get completely distracted (heyyy Youtube), don’t write one word (wahh so hard to be at my desk after a 9-hour desk job wahh!), and feel awful about it (wahhh I suck). Listen to podcasts to shove those negative thoughts out of your mind!S

STEP 5: Continue this shitty, unproductive cycle once or twice a month, for several months.

STEP 6: Resolve (’tis the season) to get back on track. New decade, NEW YORK CLICHÉ! (Come on, you love typing shit like that, you can’t resist!!)

STEP 7: January 1st. Attempt to log in to your blog host, but it’s been so long you forget your password. Foiled again!! Curses!

STEP 8: Finally get into your long lost internet home. Hello, old friend! Stare at the blank page. Hello, old foe…Start to sweat because you, like all good little writer clichés, are terrified of the blank page.

STEP 9: Put fingers to keys. You must write something to rid yourself of this Blank Space Hell that’s worse than an old Taylor Swift mega-hit!

STEP 10: “Sorry it’s been a while.” Delete. DELETE! Even when your blog has “cliché” in the title, you can’t start a blog with the world’s biggest blogger cliché! No! Spin a harrowing tale, a meta exposé, (please, god may they find it relatable) all about procrastination instead!

Okay, I’ve followed my Ten Step Program, and here I am.

Hi blog. Happy New Year. I’ve missed you. Really.

Oh, I wish I had an intriguing story for you today, or at least a delightful listicle outlining all the reasons I ghosted. GHOSTED!

Yes, dear readers, I admit it! After ranting and railing against ghosting in nearly half a dozen posts…I did just that. I GHOSTED MY BLOG! MY BELOVED BLOG!

You knew I’d come crawling back. They always do. I always do too.

So where the fuck have I been? What’s my excuse?

They never have good ones, ghosters, and neither do I. You’ve heard it all before.

Excuse #1 I got really busy with work! After 10 years of working the gig economy/freelance life, I got one of those “real jobs” papa always talked about. It’s fine, it’s not really fulfilling anything but my savings account – and that’s okay for now. I’ve never had a savings account before, this job is helping me make up for lost time. It’s okay to have a job that is just a job. As someone who gave her all pursuing an acting career- I have to remind myself of that constantly. It’s okay. There is one major flaw though: after sitting in front of a computer for 9-10 hours a day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit in front of my laptop. I’m working on this one. Advice welcome. How did you survive and thrive with a just-a-job desk job?

Excuse #2 I moved, and you know what a shitshow moving in New York is… In late September I moved in with my fella. Yep, I shacked up with that Adam Driver muppet I chased down the street 3 years ago. We finally got our last piece of furniture, a coffee table, literally yesterday. My bike got stolen while we waited for a wall mount to arrive in the mail. It’s been a process. But mostly a whole lot of fun because there’s no one I love more than my new roommate. Maybe this deserves a blog post of its own? But I make no promises.

Excuse #3 I just….I just…wasn’t that into it. The most infuriating ghosting reason. I finally get it. I just wasn’t that into the blog posts I was writing. I remember when I first started this blog (SO LONG AGO in 2008), I would run home with a story from my day I was DYING to write about. I remember that feeling so clearly as I wrote my very first New York City post. Now I have to work to keep the spark alive. I’m ready to get back to work. I used to share things with my blog, when I struggled to share them with anyone else, even my best friend. Now, I share everything with my boyfriend. I don’t have the all-encompassing NEED to write that I used to…and that’s probably a good thing that will keep me out of trouble…But I love the personal part of blogging, I hope to get back to that.

Excuse #4 Who even reads blogs anymore these days? You do. And that’s all that matters. And I love you for it.

Ah, it does feel good to blog again, you know?

So what do I want for 2020? What are my blogging hopes, dreams, and goals? I’m keeping it simple.

I want to write, I want to remember why I love this city, and I want to make you lol. Like, actually audibly giggle (aag?). #goals

I expect to post every Tuesday. This desk job life requires sticking to a schedule- I’m ready to stop resisting it. I’m bursting with ideas for content, and that’s the best, STAY TUNED. Thanks always for reading, thanks for sticking with me, and I hope 2020 has much in store for us both.