I made the rookie mistake of getting excited about a first date.
Not even a first date! A Drinks ‘n’ Winks! I’d never met the guy before.
If you have any experience with online dating, you know any excitement before a first meeting is a recipe for Disappointment. With a capitol D.
Don’t be excited for this date, Mary Lane. I tried to talk myself down as I Citibiked to meet him at a bar in the Village. You’re just building up a fantasy that’s all going to come crashing down when you meet him. This isn’t fair to him OR you. Come on, girl! Crash and burn those expectations!
I biked faster, trying to leave my stupid expectations in the dust and grime on Hudson Street. Also so I would be on time. I’m never on time! …Unless I really want to impress someone…
I know what you’re thinking. No, I wasn’t excited because he looked like Ryan Gosling/Reynolds.
No. In his profile he described himself as muppet-like. Let’s say Adam Driver playing the human version of Walter the Muppet. Cute and goofy. I was excited because he seemed like a genuine goofy, charming, dork. Just like me.
I tried repeating a mantra: This date is going to be meh. This date is going to be meh. Mehhhhhh Mehhhhh Mehhhh.
Meh is the new Om.
As I approached the bar my heart beat faster. That’s just because you biked so fast, I lied to myself. NOT because you’re excited. You don’t like this boy you’ve never even met! Shut up! MEHHHH!
Guys, the date was anything but Meh. It was great. It exceeded all the stupid fucking expectations I’d tried to expel from my mind.
We sat in our own private corner of the bar, separated from the happy hour crowd by a broken pinball machine. Conversation was so easy and fun, we exchanged stories like old friends who haven’t seen each other in years but still have a connection like no time has passed. Time with him flew by so fast. But that was okay. We left the bar and it felt like a beginning, not an ending.
I forgot first dates could be that fun.
See, 2016 was a disaster in so many ways, my love life included. It was a whole year of failing to find someone I even wanted to date. Now what a perfect fresh start for 2017!
We hugged goodbye on a street corner and walked off in opposite directions, him waiting for the light to change, me walking down the block. As I walked away I smiled, That was a fucking great date. I wish I’d kissed him.
The minute that thought entered my mind, I stopped still in my tracks.
I wish I’d kissed him.
Then why didn’t you? Why have regrets!? If you want to kiss him, kiss him!
I turned around. He was still waiting for the light! It wasn’t too late…
I shoved the thoughts out of my mind: “This is why people like to accuse you of living your life like it’s a movie!” and “If he reads your blog, he’s going to think you did this JUST so you could write about!” Fuck that! I just want to kiss him! That’s ALL! And I’m going to!
The light turned green before I caught him.
“Stop! Don’t cross yet!”
He turned around, smiling, “OK!”
We kissed through the green light, then the red. When the light turned green again I pulled away from him. “Okay. You can go now.”
He grinned, “Okay. Bye.”
I walked away, I couldn’t stop smiling.
And never saw him again.
I know! I know! It sucks!
He didn’t ghost. He sent a very nice text telling me I was great but the day after our date he’d become exclusive with someone else he was dating.
Dude, it’s not that dramatic, Mary Lane!!!!
I know. I know I didn’t really know him after just one date. The important thing here is this was a nice reminder of what the hell I’m waiting for. That it’s worth it. And of course:
Oh, and I totally don’t regret kissing him. I’d do it again.
UPDATE: He texted me months after this date and…I did see him again! This story actually does have an awesome ending, this was actually a beginning! Read about it here: http://newyorkcliche.com/2017/09/13/how-we-met-story/
I have to say, it REALLY makes me mad when guys go on dates with me while they’re obviously fairly serious with someone else. I’ve gotten that text before, shortly after a guy asking me out and kissing me, then all of a sudden he’s committed. What?! You don’t just commit – it’s a long process of getting to know someone and then you have the talk, but with actual nice guys, they’re already not seeing anyone else because they’re into you and only you. I didn’t realize this until I found someone amazing. We didn’t have the talk because we didn’t need to. I’d have been pretty upset if I found out he was still online dating simply because I hasn’t made him enter a verbal agreement.
Nooooo! Ugh, how depressing. Damn him, anyway.
So close, but so far. Thanks for damning boys for me 🙂 always nice to know readers have my back!! 😀
Aaaaargh! I was all excited for you when you kissed him, and then BOOM! Gutted for you!
Ughhh I knoooow! I thought about just ending the blog post after the kiss…but it wasn’t like I’d write another post about it… and I already know the ending of the story…and whelp, this is life. Sorry I gotta gut you all with me! <3
Aw, I was so hoping for the movie-style ending there! x
Nikki recently posted…Saving Pennies in 2017
ME TOO! Haha. I mean, if I just stopped writing at the kiss it would’ve been perfectly movie-esque! Stupid real life for taking that away from us!
That ended differently than I expected but love that outlook! Glad you took that chance and kissed him even if it didn’t end up working out. Can’t wait to read more on here 🙂
XX Jen
haha ME TOO! Thanks for encouraging my positivity (not always easy for a New York Cliche!) and for reading!
Welcome to the frustrating, often gut-wrenching, soul-crushing world of being single. I have to say, us single folk are some of the most bad-ass, strong people out there. We deal with a lot of disappointments, setbacks and heartbreak and get up, brush ourselves up, and come back for more. I know this story doesn’t have a ‘happy’ ending but a good date is a good date, so…win. (Ps- that kiss move was BOSS)
Awww, this story was so breathlessly exciting to read, and then POW, in comes a Rocky-style sad ending with a hopeful twist. So sorry this didn’t work out, it good for you for going for the kiss and not trying to play it cool. One of the worst things about dating, in my view, is the pressure to pretend you feel differently than you do. Good for you for resisting that pressure!!
Xoxo
Emily
emilyhallock.blogspot.com
PS: great blog name! It reminds me of the time I went to San Franscisco at 17 in head to toe black, with my boyfriend in a matching outfit. As we walked out of the gate, some guy pointed at us, turned to his wife, and went ‘fucking New York cliches.’
Aww this was so fun to read! I love your writing style; it’s like I’m sat with an old friend catching up. I suppose it’s a good reflection on the ups and downs of life; you get something meh and then something good
Oh no I was hoping for a movie type ending to this post, Chloe https://pinkiebag.com #TeacupClub
The pictures and quotes you usedin this are BRILLIANT!
Haha thanks! I usually have too much fun finding the perfect gif!
Great blog my friend 🙂