There’s a fine line between OMG DON’T TALK TO ME! I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! and waiting too long to mention to a dude you just met that you’re attached.
You’d think I’d be the premier expert on knowing exactly where this line is.
Credentials: four years of being single AF and
over analyzing that status in hella blog posts! Multiply that by the handful of crushes on dudes who –oh! surprise!– had girlfriends and I should know the precise minute to drop a super casual, “I see you’re drinking coffee. You know who also likes coffee? My boyfriend!”
Turns out, I DON’T! Turns out I’m just as shit at this as everyone else!
Now, I have gotten a lot better since June when I wrote this post: When You Have A Chronically Single Reputation, It’s Hard To Start Saying…Uh…Something Else. But put me in a work environment where I already feel a little weird sharing ANYTHING about my personal life…and you might end up having a crush on me cause you think I’m super single cause I never mention otherwise.
Shit! I’m sorry!
Turns out my boyfriend is bad at this too! *OMG-SO-MUCH-IN-COMMON* He’s currently avoiding his favorite meditation studio because the receptionist has a giant crush on him because he
IS SUPER HOT AND FUNNY AND AWESOME didn’t drop a, “You know who I’m kinda trying to get into meditation? But like in really super low key way, not like, pressuring at all? Cause I’m totally zen and supportive? My girlfriend.”
Is anyone out there NOT bad at this? Can you school us, please? Is it just something you get better at with time?
If dudes really were crushing, wouldn’t they internet stalk me and learn everything from my blog? Come on, isn’t that a perfectly reasonable expectation??