I went away for July 4th weekend with a boy (friend. With a boyfriend. My boyfriend. Still struggling to say it, but I’m getting better all the time!) and something amazing happened:
I still like him! Even more than I did before, in fact!
I spent four whole days with this dude (boy. friend.) FOUR WHOLE DAYS, including 16 hours in the confines of a Toyota Corolla. I didn’t get sick of him, not even for a minute. The thought, “Ugh. Shut up,” never flashed across my mind, not even when were stuck in traffic and he belted out every word of the Reel Big Fish song on Spotify. I didn’t roll my eyes at him, not even once.
WHAT!? I DIDN’T THINK SUCH A THING WAS POSSIBLE.
You see, my past is chock-o-block full of many, many road trips. Every summer my parents and I would pile into a Toyota Camry and drive from San Francisco to Maine. Grade school Summer Vacation was synonymous with Epic Road Trip. It’s as crazy as it sounds: 3000 miles of gas station bathrooms and none of us ever agreeing on air conditioning. On the road, it was rare for four hours to pass without my mom and dad getting into a fight, forget four days. But hey, maybe that’s the difference between a trip that takes 9 hours and one that takes 9 days. Definitely the difference between your first trip as a couple and 20 years of marriage.
I’ve always rolled my eyes at boyfriends in the past.
Always.
Ugh, he’s wearing a kilt.
Gah, he likes pro-wrestling.
Ew, he thinks the display windows at Bergdorf Goodman are better than the art at the Met.
Shocker that none of them worked out, right? That dudes never loved me and my belittling contempt for long?
Business Insider called contempt (what your average eye roll indicates) the “kiss of death” for relationships. I remember reading an article about contempt shortly after my last heart break. It was a full blown AH HA Moment. Of course my ex had left me for someone else! Someone who, unlike me, showed no contempt for him! Duh, Mary Lane, WHO WOULDN’T.
This new relationship is different. There’s no eye rolls, no contempt. It feels really great.
I’ve watched his friends roll their eyes at my boyfriend’s D-grade dad jokes. Usually I’m all for dragging dumb jokes but…these jokes are different. Instead, I squeeze his hand and giggle along, because I think his stupid jokes are adorable. I’m that cliché now. Since they’re not rolling, my eyes get to lock with his and take in his delightful smile, with a singular dimple that’s the perfect compliment to my also asymmetrical smile.
“You’ve been hanging out with him too much!” his friends groaned, when I later, inspired, deliver a bad dad joke of my own. Usually I’d agree. My introvert tendencies typically have me crying out for alone time after four days with anyone. But…this guy is different.
Maybe this was the piece of dating advice that was always missing? Find someone who never makes you roll your eyes.
At least in the beginning?
Hehe, I can feel some of you rolling your eyes at me and this blog post right now. Rolling your eyes and snickering, “Awww honey…you betcha that’s the difference between your first trip as a couple and 20 years of marriage! You know nothing about relationships, you adorably naive New Yorker!”
OMG this was too cute! Loved this post! I could totally identify with ALL of your eye-rolling incidents…like down to the kilt (though in my case kilt = juvenile graphic t-shirt feat. “clever” sayings or Sailor Moon). So funny!
And also, SO happy for you!!! I can’t wait to hear about how your experience of NYC changes (if at all) now that you can experience it as part of a couple… 🙂
This was such a cute post! I have never been on a weekend away with my boyfriend. Like not really. But I guess it would be a new step in our relationship ahah xx corinne
Ahaha, this was great and good for you for giving this relationship your all! I’m the same with people but I look forward to keeping up to date! xxxx
Ahaha, this was great and good for you for giving this relationship your all! I’m the same with people but I look forward to keeping up to date! xxxx
Ahhhh this post made my heart melt a little!! When you find someone whose corny jokes make you go ‘awww’ instead of ‘ughhhh,’ it’s a magical thing! And 16 hours in a Corolla?!? I’d say that’s a promising sign that you still like him after being in such close quarters! PS — Hugh Laurie’s eyeroll is EVERYTHING!
xx
Emily
Thoroughly Modern Emily recently posted…Maternity Photo Shoot!
I’ll have to come back to comment because my eyeball got stuck from rolling so hard. I’m happy that you had a lively weekend with your boy… friend. This is adorable
Trudy recently posted…3 Reasons to Rendezvous At The Coney Island Mermaid Parade
OMG THIS IS THE BEST NEWS!!!!
Nice post. I will keep the information in mind.
Cuuuuuuuuuuuute! I’ve been dating someone for 2 months now & on our third date we spent an entire day in NYC – from like, 10 am to 5pm – and even though that’s not on the caliber of a weekend getaway; I had the same feeling. If on the third date I can hang out with this person, who’s kind of a stranger, for this many hours and not ever feel annoyed/bored/smothered/ etc, that’s a good sign!
Trip went well, very nice! I can see you have feelings for this boyfriend….that’s a good thing. Usually after a few days you can pick up on any disturbing quirks that you may not be able to stand. So its exciting to see the future, I do wish you luck !
Aw, it’s so great to hear that you enjoyed your weekend away and didn’t end up murdering the boyfriend hehe! I like your advice, I need to find me a man who doesn’t make me roll my eyes as well! Thanks for keeping it real and sharing this post!
Abbey
Awh it’s so lovely to read that you found someone whose company you aren’t bored of yet! I was extremely worried when I started going out with my current other half… but luckily I wasn’t tired of him when we went on our first holiday together for two weeks, which I took as a very good sign!
Lizzie Bee recently posted…Blippo Surprise Kawaii Bag and Giveaway
How cute was this post! I loved it ? Glad you had an amazing time, I need to find myself someone who I don’t roll my eyes at haha, that would be a miracle! Hope everything stays good xx
This was actually so cute, made me giggle a bit but we’re glad you have found someone who doesn’t make your eyes roll.
We’re currently on a 35 day trip, so that means a solid 24 hours with each other for a whole 35 days, thank god for being able to pee on your own hahaha we haven’t killed each other yet so there’s hope for all ahaha
Look forward to having an update!
Jessica & James | http://www.foodandbaker.co.uk / http://www.foodandbakertravels.co.uk
mary lane, I love your writing!!! I found you on twitter a while ago and personally as a native New Yorker, I LOVE the way you see NYC! More than that, I think you’re a fabulous writer. Loved this post. Also, I totally said to myself , haha just wait till you’re together a long time and then see if you eye roll him in the car, but to my delight, you yourself addressed it with self depreciation and charm as always! Good luck in your relationship can’t wait to see what adventures you go on next – being in NYC is the best, but being in love in NYC is even better! xx Bee
Also, I mentioned this before but if you are interested I’d really LOVE to have you do a guest post at my site Style Island. Maybe something about falling ‘in love’ in NY or places to spend time in NYC w/ the new boyfriend perhaps….? 🙂 hope to hear back from you
Oh crap! Experts weigh in on this one-Should you need help, I found this:
http://www.yourtango.com/experts/mary-jo-rapini/eye-rolling-may-be-kiss-death-relationship
A friend from college WALKED across America with his wife. Probably decided not to roll eyes early on. They wrote a book. (Peter and Barbara Jenkins
“The Walk West: A Walk Across America 2″…. no… it wasn’t a murder mystery.
Hahaha I loved this post. I knew I had to read it with that headline!