After months and months of dates that all rated somewhere on the scale of MEH to FINE, I couldn’t help but wonder. It’s me isn’t it? What am I doing wrong?!
I don’t want the wrong thing to be that dating is a numbers game. I don’t want it to be fucking timing. I want it to be something I can control, damn it! I want there to be something wrong with me!
Okay, okay, that’s going a little far. You know what would be great? If it was just something wrong with my online dating profile! Can it just be that? That’s super easy to fix, no soul searching or therapy required! Like that time my profile said I was expensive instead of expressive.
Everyone who’s ever tried online dating has wondered: what if I just got awesome photos of myself? Would that change everything?
If there’s one thing I worry about with online dating, it’s getting murdered. Obvi. But if I stretch that to two things, the 2nd is not looking like my photos. I meet every online date slightly terrified that disappointment will flash across his face the minute he sees me, Ugh, she doesn’t look like her photos. So I’d never want picture-perfect, airbrushed photos that look nothing like me in the actual flesh!
In this day of swipe impressions, photos are the way we get dates. As much as that pains a wordy, witty, writer like me to say, I know it’s the truth.
When I first heard about professional photographers offering their services for online dating profiles, I thought it was crazy. Then I thought about it some more… and realized people probably thought SAT tutoring was crazy when it first became available too…
One of my favorite blogger friends, Demetrius from Tao of Indifference, interviewed Saskia Nelson, the founder of Hey Saturday, “the UK’s first and coolest dating photography business on the planet”. Everything she said in his podcast just made perfect sense, I remember catching myself nodding my head in agreement as I walked down Park Avenue, listening. It is silly to worry that great photos might make me look like I’m trying too hard! Most of my photos are 2 years old…and I’m definitely not the same person I was two years ago, so why am I representing myself that way?!
I could go on and on about my realization that online dating photography is actually bloody brilliant (as you know, Saskia from the UK would say), or I could just show you. Because ya know the cliché: a picture’s worth a thousand words.
My Dating Photo Shoot with Hey Saturday on the Lower East Side, NYC
That podcast listen lead to a Twitter friendship, and a thousand or so tweets later, I was in front of Saskia’s camera on the Lower East Side! Singles of NYC, we’re in luck! Hey Saturday has just expanded to New York City! I’ll tell you how fantastic this shoot was, after I show you first:
Um…I don’t want to be a conceded bitch blogger, but… don’t I look amazing in all these photos?
Not because my hair and make up is perfect (I did them myself, just like I would for a date), not because the lighting is amazing (it’s just natural, outdoor lighting), not because the camera is awesome (well…that certainly does help).
I look amazing in these photos because I’m super comfortable and happy being exactly myself.
Whaaatttt??? Yeah, I think that’s a bit of the trick here. I was amazed at how fun this shoot was, and that fun is written allllll over my face in every shot. Now, I’ve done photo shoots before, so you might think that’s why I look so comfortable and at ease. I can assure you that is absolutely not the case. In fact the last shoot I did, for new head shots, you could see the discomfort behind my eyes. My mom took one look at the photos and said, “Yeah, you look good, but you didn’t like the photographer very much, did you?” That is never the reaction you want and why a photographer makes a huuuuuge difference.
The Hey Saturday team of Saskia and Audra not only made me feel comfortable and at ease but hot as shit. Breathtakingly gorgeous, frightfully interesting, charming and clever. They fully embraced me and my unique personality, effortlessly and in such a genuine way. Another reason these photos are great, they really got me thinking, Ya know, I am awesome! Who wouldn’t want to date me!?
I left the shoot feeling like a million bucks. Literally an hour after this shoot I went on a date with a guy who has since made me want to delete all my dating apps for the first time in years. Is that a coincidence? Maybe…maybe it’s all just the numbers game and finally some good timing. Or maybe there’s magic in Hey Saturday photography… not just the overhaul it can give the look of your dating profile, but the overhaul it gives your mentality of yourself: There’s nothing wrong with me. I am so freaking worth this.
I also picked up some photography tips, just by watching 2 pros in action! Big added bonus for me!
If I’ve even made you slightly curious about this dating photography business, check out Hey Saturday’s FAQs and episode 96 of Tao of Indifference. There are some super helpful tips on picking the right online dating photos just on your own. If I’ve completely sold you on the idea and you live in NYC or London, head over to heysaturday.co to check out pricing (cheaper than a match.com subscription!) and to book a shoot!