It begins at the crossroads of the world: Times Square. The lights are blinding and each animated sign flashes so quickly it feels seizure inducing. Giant billboards proclaim NEW YORK CITY SUPPORTS TRUMP FOR PRESIDENT and CHICAGO: NOW STARRING WILLIAM HUNG FROM AMERICAN IDOL AS BILLY FLYNN! You’re smashed shoulder to shoulder between tourists, selfie-sticks rise above the crowd like torches and pitch forks. “WHERE IS TIME SQUARE?” bellows into your ears at alternating intervals, always questioned with a whining southern twang. Sneakered feet move in unison, side to side like wind up dolls on their last crank.
Epic Dating Secrets Revealed! Get Drunk, Stuff Your Face, Be Cool!
Ugh. I don’t want to go on this date.
It’s been a ten hour day, working two different jobs, with nothing longer than a pee break. I just want to go home, order take out, and call it a day. But no. I have a date. With a dude I’ve never met in person. Which of course is the easiest kind of date to bail on. People do all the time. But no, not me. I hate that shit.
I make it a point to never bail on a date. Even if it means I show up late, having not eaten dinner, and cranky as fuck! Read More
22 Ways to Make a New Yorker Love You (For At Least a New York Minute)
1. Never ask if they like stand up comedy.
2. Walk. Faster.
3. Let them cut you in line at Trader Joe’s.
4. Give them a seat on the subway.
5. Wake them up with Doughnut Plant and MUD coffee.
6. Rent. Control.
7. Roof. Access.
8. Get them tickets to Hamilton.
9. Move to the right of the escalator damn it if you intend to be fucking lazy stand still.
10. Tell them not to attend your one-man Off-Off-Broadway show.
11. If they are in the one-man Off-Off-Broadway show, tell them you loved it.
12. Complement their shoes.
13. Don’t make them leave their borough.
14. Take them to the Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade.
15. Never call them a hipster (even if they undeniably are one).
16. Show up on time for once. On the weekend. When the L is not running.
17. Listen to them bitch about how much the L sucks. Sympathize.
18. Ask them where they get their haircut without the agenda of selling them a spa package.
19. Refrain from Bible pushing. Forever more, amen.
20. Invite them to an event with an open bar.
21. Root for the Mets in the World Series!
22. Read their blog (duh).
The Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade Featuring New York’s Cutest
Last week was rough. The kind of week that leaves you doubting everything about yourself and fighting back tears over Friday night beers. Saturday morning was gray and cold; all I wanted to do was bury under the covers and feel sorry for myself. Instead I hauled myself out of bed and dragged my boots down to Tompkins Square Park.
The park was crawling with dogs, hundreds of pups all wearing adorable costumes. Suddenly all my worries seemed far, far away. Puppies make everything better. Read More
City Bitches Go Apple Picking
Starbucks considered it PSL season in mid-August. The smell of the artificial, clawing sweetness has wafted betwixt the two Starbucks on every block in NYC for months. When that smell becomes too overwhelming, what’s a city gal to do?
Go apple picking. Duh.
Bergdorf Goodman “Crimson Peak” Inspired Windows
My roommate is obsessed with Crimson Peak. If you have no idea what that is, hey, I didn’t either until I started hearing about it at least once a day.
Crimson Peak! Soooooo beautiful! Crimson Peak! To die cinematography! Crimson Peak! OMG Gothic Romance! Crimson Peak! Guillermo del Toro! Crimson Peak! WANT TO SEE IT NOW. This has been a regular sound loop in my apartment since the arrival of fall.
Crimson Peak is a Gothic/Romance/Horror movie that opens in theaters today. I hate horror movies. This was my response to the numerous invites I received (all from one roommate) to see this film. “No. I hate horror!” My interest in this film was acute but simplistic: “Will my roommate talk about it MORE or LESS after she sees it?”
Then suddenly on a walk home from work, everything changed. I walked by Bergdorf Goodman, looked at their window displays, and my mind was blown.
Bergdorf Goodman is the highest of high-end department stores. They make Bloomingdales look like TJMaxx. Their window displays are highly regarded as awesome, not just at Christmas but year round. The current display is inspired by Crimson Peak. It is somehow perfect for Halloween, perfect for showcasing Valentino dresses (available of Floor 4) and Alexander McQueen handbags, perfect for making us want to take the fashion risk of wearing a cape, and perfect for enthralling jaded roommates who hate horror movies.
Bergdorf Goodman Crimson Peak Window Display
Gorgeous, right? I am definitely falling prey for this slick marketing move. Not only am I considering seeing this movie, I am also thankful to my roommate. I never would have appreciated this display as much with out you and your obsession with this movie!
It’s nice to see Halloween decorations before we get bombarded on November 1st by anti-fall decorations (that’s what I’m calling premature X-mas displays).
I simultaniously love and hate the lights of the city reflected in these pictures. Sorry you can’t get a good look at the amazing details in these displays. The peek at the shadows of the 5 Avenue surroundings may make up for it- what do you think?
You can literally buy all the clothes in these displays inside the store. Hard to believe, right?
Skeletons and other creepy props are not for sale, however.
If you find yourself in midtown, go have a look for yourself, Bergdorf is at 57th and 5th. If you’re craving more beautiful, high fashion, eye porn, check out my posts about Bergdorf’s Christmas windows: 2013 2014. If you see Crimson Peak let us know how it was!!
Painting with a Twist in Brooklyn (Spoiler: the Twist is Wine!)
An evening in Cobble Hill spent sipping wine and painting, what could be classier? When Painting with a Twist invited me to check out one of their classes in Brooklyn, I had no hesitation. Not one moment of “Uhhh…I don’t really know how to paint, what if my painting sucks?” I’m a self-described “hopelessly creative” person, I have a little experience with painting, and honestly I’d been dying to give this new trend a try: the casual painting class combined with casual drinking. Arrive with no painting experience, leave with a ready-to-hang painting and a buzz! Brilliant!