As y’all know, the Super Bowl was in New York/New Jersey yesterday. Given my track record of working crazy gigs, you are probably wondering if I ended up at Metlife Stadium.
I do not disappoint.
Had the perfect view of pre-game prep.
Cameras and sports affiliates EVERYWHERE.
While I notoriously do not care about football, it was impossible to not get in the spirit of this HUGE, CRAZY event. Had a blast!
SO glad it is the last day of January. Been hearing about a lot of friends fighting the January Blues. I’m feeling it too. Snow has lost it’s magic, we’re all dreaming of spring. But it’s January 31 AND Friday, so let’s be happy about that!
Snow looks so pretty in pictures, it’s just starting to feel miserable in real like. It’s the perfect time to go on a Florida vacation…more on that next week! Have a great weekend!
Time crawls when you’re bored out of your skull. How is that not a cliché?
Since filming wrapped last week (see previous post), Time oozes by at the pace of a tourist walking down 5th Avenue, gawking at the Empire State Building.
It slinks by with the speed of a subway stuck in a tunnel, Ladies and gentlemen we are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us, we apologize for any inconvenience.
Time is currently that snow bank piled against your garage stubbornly staying well through April.
In stark contrast to my previous week of filming fun, this week I am temping. The only flaw with filming a web series is the fact it will be low-budget. It won’t pay the bills. Your dedication to it won’t give you time to look for gigs, but fortunately you can call up your temp agency and they’ll put you on assignment for the very next day. That is how I transitioned from the glamour of lights, camera, action, to being stuck in a cubicle, glued to a headset all week.
This temp assignment is my worst nightmare. I’m not even being dramatic. The one reoccurring nightmare I have with some frequency is the one where all my teeth fall out. You ever have that one? It’s fairly common and according to teethfallingoutdream.org (actual url) this anxiety dream symbolize change and indicates fear of loosing something important. Freud says it points to sexual repression. Great. I have dreamed of this so many times my subconscious is actually aware of it. Now when my teeth start falling out my first reaction is, I know this! It’s okay, I’m just dreaming! Then I don’t wake up and stare at the teeth in my hand and freak out, OMG THIS TIME IT’S REAL! AHH!
So how the hell does that connect to temping? Do they have temps pull out people’s teeth these days? No, they most certainly do not. What I am doing is listening to and rating customer service calls. Calls to dental clinics. I’ve listened to thousands of calls of people looking for teeth extractions. I grimace through every single one. I now know the ballpark cost of a root canal and crown (holyshitexpensive). I have listened to 15 minute phone calls made to dental practices just to schedule an appointment. No one in New York has time to chit-chat with the receptionist as they book their dental cleaning! But apparently they do in Georgia. It’s my job to listen to the whole thing.
The company I’m working for has snacks in the office. How nice, right? Unfortunately, what might be considered a perk has enabled a lot of mindless, bored snacking. Eating for lack of a better thing to do. Disaster. Fortunately I’m only on this assignment for 5 days, it’s not long enough to go to my waist line. Still I sit listening to calls about tooth aches and dentures while eating a snack pack of sugary Nutter Butters. I realize the irony.
This week I flossed every single day. I’ve never done that before. I have used mouth wash. I have psychosomatically felt pain in every single tooth in my mouth. It’s been 13 months since my last visit to the dentist. I need to book my appointment asap. As much as I can’t stand this job, I’m glad I’m on it. Some people need a life changing experience, like listening to 2,000 people regale all manner of tooth related issues, to motivate them into impeccable dental hygiene. I moved to New York to chase my dreams, but the one where my teeth fall out is one I desperately hope never comes true.
I hate, H as in Haggard A as in Annoyed T as in Tired E as in ENOUGH, temping. But this assignment will be over before I know it. Plus it’s better than waiting tables!
Have you ever dreamed your teeth fell out? Other re-occuring nightmares?
See my face in the crack of the window? But you can’t hear is my voice shrieking for help! (All acting, don’t worry.)
Time flies when you’re having fun. So goes the cliché.
For a week, Time whizzed by me like of a cabbie streaking down a deserted West Side Highway in the wee hours of the morn.
It rocketed passed me with the speed of a pigeon diving for an abandoned pretzel.
In this freezing month of January, Time put on ice skates and lapped me, and all those training for speed skating in Sochi, twice.
This past fall I was cast in a web series. This past week filming began. The days were long, actors arriving in the morning and leaving 12 hours later. I could feel the time in my body, I fell into bed exhausted every night. Yet the time span didn’t comprehend in my mind. My character didn’t wear a watch and ticking clocks are a sound guy’s worst nightmare. I found myself constantly saying, What, it’s lunch already? Really? Wait, how is it dark outside? When did it get that late? No way, we spent three hours filming that? Are you serious? I can’t tell you where the days went. It’s all a blur. A blur caught on film. Yes, time does flies when you’re having fun and I was having a blast.
Time flies when you’re in your element, when you’re doing what you love. What you’re meant to do? That I’m not so sure of. Show business, the merciless motherf-cker, kicks my ass. It’s hard, so hard. I might have all the passion in the world for the show but if I don’t have the balls for the business, who cares? I flounder, a teeny tiny fish in a huge pond, and even breath-taking talent for swimming won’t keep me from drowning. (Too much metaphor?)
These are doubts that plague my thought. When I’m in front of a camera, when I’m performing in front of people, my mind is freed from them. Give me a character and I’m transported to another frequency, free of all my own bullshit. Elastic, quick-witted, bursting with inspiration and innovation. Electric. Elevated. The director calls cut and we leave our other worldly existence. Back to a reality of second guessing- Was that the best I could have done that scene? I totally kept fucking up that line! I could have made a better choice! Bleh. But then the moments to live for; nothing beats the feeling of Holy shit, I rocked that.
I’ve never done much on camera work before. I’ve stuck to being a stage actress. I’m such a sucker for the energy of a live audience. I feed off of it like a mortal feasting on ambrosia. Devour it like a blood starved star of The Vampire Diaries. Camera work was a different experience for me. One I was surprised to enjoy so greatly. By the time we wrapped, I held a handful of moments where I found myself thinking, Wait, I’m actually good at this! Question mark? A question that will be answered this spring when the series is released to the world-wide web.
If I hear enough interest from you guys, I’ll strongly consider sharing this web series with you. It’s delightful, funny, written by two very talented and lovely ladies. Really, it’d be a shame for me not to. What do you say?
We stood amongst the growing crowd. All out and about in Central Park on the Saturday afternoon, unfazed by gloomy winter weather. Sidling our way toward the center of the action, we aimed for a closer look.
“How do you even realize you have talent for this?” Miranda mused, “You know, maybe we have scores of latent, untapped talent for ice sculpting, and we just don’t know it.”
“You’re right!” I giggled, “But I’m afraid we lack the passion. Or at the very least the endurance for cold temperatures.”
“Do you think these guys attended a wedding at a young age, saw an ice sculpture of swans or something, and this was the dream ever since?”
How does one end up on the ice sculpting career path? I have no idea. How does one end up in the park watching ice sculptors do their thing? Well, there are only so many outside winter events in NYC. When you resolve to not stay inside all winter, you better attend any outdoor event that sounds vaguely interesting. Besides, when are you going to have another opportunity to watch artists sculpt ice?
The backdrop was Bethesda Fountain, one of my favorite spots in Central Park. This major destination in the warmer months becomes deserted in the winter. The water is shut off, the pond freezes over, bits of trash become encased in sheets of ice. Unless you’re a dedicated jogger or dog walker, there’s little reason to pass by. Unless Central Park Conservancy is hosting an Ice Festival! Then you have the perfect excuse to make Bethesda Terrace a winter destination!
The area was mobbed. Despite the crowds and temperature lows, everyone was in high spirits. The line for coffee, a necessity at 12PM on a 40 degree day, was long and took 20 minutes of waiting. This would typically send a New Yorker into grumbling crankiness. Maybe there’s something about fresh air and witnessing grown men chainsaw ice into butterflies. I swear, every one in that line was having a good day. We made friends with the hipsters standing in front of us, together bemoaned the fact it was too cold for an Affogato (espresso over ice cream).
The friendliness of those watching was damn near unsettling. I expect New York cliché! We all stood watching the sculptors from the Okamoto Studio. No one pushed, no one bitched about someone stepping on their feet, no one told me and Miranda to shut up as we carried on a conversation about the start of her school semester. No, instead a woman joined in the conversation, telling us how she is studying anatomy and about her daughter, who she was saving a spot for by the enclosing fence.
Maybe in January, when all the tourists are gone, when everything is gray, when events and jobs are at a record low, maybe this is when New Yorkers bond together. We are nice to each other, as we all endure this miserable month. We appreciate the beauty the city supplies, for once it’s not all around us. In this month where we unable to take the joys of NYC for granted. So we are forced to notice them. It’s good for us, builds character. We must do all in our power to resist or seasonal depression is imminent.
So we watch grown men chainsaw ice into butterflies, birds, and stags. Seriously, a chainsaw is one of the critical tools of the trade. We get excited when they start work on an untouched piece of ice- what will it be? Watching the artists consult sketches, the subject is obvious. Perfect for the venue. We leave before she is complete, brunch and unlimited sangria beckon us, but we stayed long enough to see the ice version of the Bethesda Fountain angel take shape. To marvel at the delicate precision of her frozen facial features. Stay too long, and we would’ve had to watch her melt away. All that work for something so temporary. I would say I don’t understand it, but really you could say the exact same thing about theatre!
Have you ever seen an ice sculpture? I hadn’t really before! To be hones, I associated ice sculptures with gaudy centerpieces at over priced weddings. So glad this Ice Festival made me see what an art form ice sculpting can be! If you google “ice sculpture” there are works that will blow your mind!
Suddenly I’ve been single for almost 6 months. During that time I’ve been on exactly one date. One date where I was as awkward as a newborn fawn, faltering on unsteady legs. There was a time I could rock a date with the confidence of a cabby at rush hour. Cruising bumpy crosstown roads, a sharp turn here, an abrupt stop there, I knew exactly how to play the game. It’s time I relearn my routes by going back to my NYC single gal roots.
The best way to get back into dating? The quickest, easiest, most likely to have you out on as soon as this Friday night? You can’t deny it’s online dating. I’ve dabbled before, went on lots of dates, made a friend or two, but no true romances. That was with free online dating websites. I’m a big girl now, in my late twenties, baby. Too old to put up with that crap. Y’all with me? It’s time to graduate to the big leagues- Match.com. You get what you pay for, certainly a cliché that rings true.
There’s no time like the present, another true one. Match.com’s peak season, the site’s busiest time of year, kicked off New Year’s Day and spans all the way through Valentine’s Day, where Match will see a 25-30% increase in registrations to the site. Why the rush to log in online in the new year? In a recent poll, Match.com found that 51% of singles’ New Year’s resolutions will be to socialize more and focus on finding that special someone, making the desire to connect with someone a driving force for singles’ to get online after the holidays. It certainly feels nice to know I’m not alone in my alone-ness.
Now, it’s not easy for me to pay for anything full price. I love a deal, love a sale, love to feel like I got a bargain. So I must confess my decision to try Match.com, I was given a push by the pus they are doing to get us online during prime time. Right now Match.com is offering a 3-days free “date pass” for singles! Simply log onto www.match.com/datepass to claim your 3-days free offer. I’m such a sucker for free things and I know I’m not alone in that either!
It seems like every day the number of single friends I have dwindles. My calendar is starting to fill with weddings, even some I’m in. For the first time, I’m actually looking for a relationship that could lead to forever. How terrifying is that for me to admit? Quite. But hell, it’s true. Anyone else feel that way? Anyone else always kind of wanted to try Match.com and then said, why pay for online dating when I can do it for free? Take three days and see if you discover why. That’s what I’m doing.
The other day I re-watched an episode of Sex and the City where Charlotte claims that this is the year she’s getting married? Even though there’s not the slightest sign of a man in her present? Well, I’m no where near that point. And I’m assuming you aren’t either. But hey, stranger things have happened! Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky in love like this Match.com couple— have you seen their proposal? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wq5elZaOW4
Who’s with me and who’s excited to read about New York Cliché’s dating adventures again?
This post is sponsored by Match.com
I am a performer in New York City. No, as the cliché goes, it doesn’t exactly pay my bills. Thus I work a long list of survival jobs. Some of them strange, some of the fun. None of them boring. Most often I work as a brand ambassador or promotional model, where the job requirements are basically look pretty, act friendly, get people excited about a product/event, pass out free shit. Some of the more interesting (and not super classified) jobs I’ve worked recently:
1 The Test to Willpower Immediately after giving up sugar for a month, I got booked a gig to promote the most famous sandwich cookie in the world. I stood in Times Square for hours, passing out packs of cookies, and didn’t eat a single one. This was perhaps the day I realized I am an adult.
2 The Fashion Faux Pas A motel chain, which certainly has no franchises in Manhattan, decided to use Times Square as the backdrop for their image relaunch. As a brand ambassador, I showed up at Port Authority before dawn. We were outfitted in black bathrobes and pajama pants, then set loose to hand out free cinnamon rolls to the denizens of midtown. Los Angeles is the only city in America where you might find less enthusiasm for free baked goods.
3 The Worst Car Specialist in the World I am a product expert for an all-American car. I stand around the cars, answering questions and delivering stats. No one would ever guess I do not have my driver’s license, that I have been behind the wheel a grand total of 3 times. My training to be a “product specialist” came from six printed pages and a perusal of the company website. If someone asked me how to adjust the steering wheel, I’d have no idea.
4 The Star Stylist I worked for an entire Christmas season as Santa’s hairstylist. It was my job to make sure the big guy’s beard looked just right, that his mustache was perfectly trimmed. I’m not kidding, I was trained in combing techniques to make his beard look perfect and full! I mean, some one has to make sure there are no cookie crumbs in it, and Mrs. Claus is in high demand during the holidays!
5 Wrap It Up Another holiday gig I had was gift wrapping presents. Originally I was just supposed to promote the service while a professional wrapped the presents for guests. Guess what happened when the professional gift-wrapper didn’t show up? I became a professional gift-wrapper. I painstakingly wrapped each present, crossing my fingers no one would say, “I could do a better job than this!” No one did, and now I’m actually pretty damn good at wrapping things!
6 The Cheese Pandemonium If you ever work promotions, chances are you’ve worked with this type of manager: The Guy Who’s Just Over It. As a brand ambassador for a well-known cheese brand, I worked with such a man. He wanted to be done with the job as quickly as possible and told us to move the product as fast as we could. We were already passing out full-sized packages of cheese and suddenly we were shoving 5 packages at a time into the greedy arms of people in Washington Square. Every one working the job was given a case of the product to take home. I opened one package, never finished it. There are children starving in Africa and I ended up throwing out a whole case of weird cheese product.
7 The Rudolph Look A promotion for a premium “adult beverage”, let’s say. I’m the promo model and I get to model these.
Yes, I look like Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. No, that was not the point, it wasn’t near Christmas.
8 The Foodie Dream Come True For a while I was promoting a New York news publication. They sponsored all these fantastic eating events. I would get to attend, standing behind a table and talking to anyone who approached. Often times we were the only non-food related vendor there, so people would be very befuddled by our presence. The amazing part was getting to walk around the food booths on a break, these events allowed me to sample some of the best food I’ve ever tasted- some of the best NYC has to offer!
