This is a beautiful guest post by Naissa Lopez about a trip she took to NYC. There is so much heart in her words, I am so grateful to her for sharing this story. Enjoy.

New York City is often referred to as the “city that never sleeps,” the “Big Apple,” and the city where you are sure to find your true love. To many southerners, New York City is a whole other world of enchantment, skyscrapers, and dreams bigger than the great state of Texas.  That’s exactly what this blog post is about; two southern women from the Lone Star State who hopped on a plane to a land of museums, enormous culture, a huge population, restaurants galore, and memories to be made.

My mom had always dreamed about going to New York City.  It was her dream destination for so many years, but the responsibilities of our constantly-changing lives kept her from fulfilling that desire.  During my first summer break from graduate school, I figured that I’d somehow muster up the opportunity to help my mom scratch that dream off her bucket list.  You see, a year before we took this trip, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. To say that life threw her a curveball would be an understatement. Chemotherapy treatments, radiation and various doctors’ appointments became a norm in her life that I never wanted her to have.  Up until about a week before our trip, she was apprehensive about going because she wasn’t sure how her body would react to the flight.

Chemotherapy often makes you very nauseous, and she did not want to be a burden to anybody on the plane. On the morning that we were scheduled to leave, she put all her discouragements to the side, packed her suitcase and prepared herself for her journey.
On the flight to NYC! She did not feel nauseous once, yay!

We stayed in a hostel on the Upper East Side because I really wanted both of us to immerse ourselves in the city.  A Times Square hotel wasn’t only painfully expensive, it was also just too touristy for me. I wanted us to walk up and down the streets like we lived there; go to corner diners and drink lattes, hail a cab like we were professionals, and take the subway completely ignoring the fact that rats were the size of our dogs.

New York Cliché: Rats

On our walk to the hostel, my mom actually asked me if the rats were as big as their reputation made them out to be.  We turned the corner and I told her, “You be the judge.” Low and behold, there were rats rummaging through a trash bag on the stoop of our hostel. “OH MY GOD, NAISSA. THAT IS DISGUSTING. THEY ARE HUGE! THERE’S SO MANY.” she screamed. It was hilarious.

We finally got settled in close to midnight and were feeling a bit restless.  Our first night in New York City was spent at a bar with a bunch of college students from NYU and Syracuse.  People-watching in the city is on an absolute different level than it is anywhere else in the country. Sitting there drinking a beer with my mom and thinking about the fact that we were both kind of winging it in the biggest city in the country, both excited and terrified us.  It was wonderful.

New York Cliché: Crime

When we got back to the hostel, my mom started piling our suitcases along the door to prevent anybody from coming into our room. “Mom, the suitcases aren’t going to stop a burglar,” I said. “It will give me peace of mind as I sleep, okay?” she responded.  Safe to say she was a bit culture shocked (it’s funny to note that for the rest of our trip, she didn’t pile the suitcases along the door—she actually became very comfortable in the city very quickly).

Of course we did many “touristy” things while we were in the city!  When I say we were winging it, I mean that wholeheartedly. We had no plans other than to get there, get to our hostel, and have a beer in the neighborhood.  When we woke up the following morning, we decided to head to Times Square to see skyscrapers bigger than we could ever imagine.

New York Cliché: Times Square

I think this is one of the most touristy things you can do in new York City.

A TMZ bus was in the corner and we decided “Why not?”

New York Cliché: Sightseeing Bus Tours

After all, Carrie Bradshaw’s stoop was something we both absolutely needed to see (cliché, I know).  The bus took us around various parts of the city and showed us the ridiculously lavish houses of Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, Katie Holmes- you name it.  My mom’s favorite part of the tour was when we were able to see Law and Order Way, where they film Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. She really thought we were going to see Ice-Tea walking down the street (LOL!).

After the bus tour, we sat in Times Square a little exhausted and very hungry. As you all know, the food availability in Times Square is enormous.  We grabbed a quick bite to eat and started walking in random directions. Low and behold, we wound up on Broadway and decided to see “Phantom of the Opera.”  The timing was so perfect, too. We walked up to the ticket booth and the next showing was about 15 minutes from starting. Our tickets were very close, too. It was almost like it was meant to happen!

New York Cliché: Broadway

The show, for those of you who might not have had the opportunity to see Phantom of the Opera, is absolutely wonderful.  You will cry, you will laugh, you will be mesmerized.

After our experience in Time Square, we decided to head back to the Upper East Side and check out the area a bit more.  My mom hailed a cab like a true east coaster!

New York Cliché: Yellow Cabs

Sitting in the cab my momma hailed!

When we were walking through the neighborhood, my mom saw a bookstore and was so excited to walk inside.  She’s like Princess Belle in that sense. There wasn’t a book or library that my mom didn’t love. She watched a mother read to her baby in that Upper East Side bookstore and it added a nice touch of sweetness to our very busy day.

♥

About four months after our trip, on August 9, 2015, my mom succumbed to complications from pancreatic cancer.  I often think about how surreal life can be because of this timeframe. A few weeks before we said our goodbyes, she was experiencing life across the country; happy, carefree, and without worry.  Had I known that less than 16 short weeks later she’d be gone, I would have enjoyed that trip more. I would’ve stayed longer. I would’ve taken her to another city she’d wanted to visit. Something.  Anything.

This blog is absolutely not meant to be sad, in fact, quite the opposite.  Live your life how you want to live it without worry of how the world will look at you.  Spend time with those you love and cherish the time that you are given with them. My siblings and I know firsthand that time is something you never want to let get away.  Don’t take any moments for granted and don’t live life with fear.

I miss my mother every single day. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the things I never got to ask her, or the stories I never got to hear her tell.  The void will never go away, and I am slowly accepting that.

But even with that void, even with that hurt that will always be there, I know that her memory and her spirit will fulfill the moments when I feel like missing her is too much. I saw that spirit in Time Square.  I saw that spirit on Broadway. I saw that spirit in The Manchester Diner as she was sipping her coffee ad eating pancakes. I will forever be grateful to the Big Apple for giving me those memories of her.

There was so much more my mother wanted to do, and there was so much more she deserved to see.  Even though life gave her an incredible injustice that took her beautiful spirit far too soon, one thing I will cherish forever is the memory of her in that city. We’ll always have New York.

♥

Wow. Who else is crying and getting their phone out to call their mom?
When I asked for guest posts about visiting New York, I never thought I’d get words as meaningful as this. Thank you so much for sharing, Naissa! You can find more of Naissa’s writing at https://texasvegetarian.wordpress.com/