They say before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. It’s one of my favorite cliché sayings. Thus, as of this morning, I am thrilled to announce I am now officially allowed to freely and fully judge 2 of my most detested New York clichés!
Subway rats and Times Square costumed characters!
Are you kitten me? No. No, I am not. This is how I started the work week, folks. Let’s pretend I booked a bizarre job Monday morning solely to earn supreme judgement privilege.
Hey NYC commuters, what’s up? Missed your train? Rats!
Am I worse than an actual rat on your subway car? You tell me!
Look in the eyes of that woman in the headphones and I think we have our answer!
What the fuck was I doing? Well, I shouldn’t give details (uh, maybe shouldn’t even write this post- too bad!), but I will say that I spent my morning riding the subway. Dressed up as a giant piece of New York City vermin! Hey, I got fewer stink eyes shot my way than others who boarded the train with a, “Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to bother you…”
If you know New Yorkers, it won’t come as a surprise that I was largely ignored. Nothing phases New Yorkers. We see giant rats running around the subway all the time. Meh, whatevs.
Those people coming down the stairs? They were looking for directions to get to Grand Central. The minute I pulled off my head, they asked me if the N train would take them there. Even tourists aren’t phased by a giant rodent! Maybe they thought I was cute?
Cab drivers weren’t into it. No one wants to hear the story of that time you had a huge rat in your cab…
So back underground, where rats belong.
Maybe people thought I was just Splinter’s rebellious teenage son. That their childhood fantasies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles being real were finally coming true!
Living the dream, NYC, I’m living the dream.
If you want to read more about struggling actress survival jobs, check out some previous posts:
The Time I Got Paid to Walk Around Barefoot
The Time I Got Paid to Wear a Bra in Public
The Gig That Required Me To Be A Size Two
The Time I Worked With Painfully Bitchy Professional Models
More Survival Jobs of A Struggling Actress