There are many rights of passage for those new to New York City. Taking an uptown train when you needed the downtown, giving money to the fake monk scam, and bringing Chateau Diana to your first New York house party.
At house parties all over the city every weekend, hosts shriek, AGH! WHO BROUGHT CHATEAU DIANA!?
What is Chateau Diana?
1. Chateau Diana is a glorified grape juice sold at drug stores and bodegas. It is 6% alcohol by volume: a “wine product” the way Snapple is a “juice drink”. Give it a sip and you’ll be wishing it was manischewitz. I’m serious.
2. Chateau Diana is worth WHINING about! It looks exactly like wine, made to fool people from states where you can buy wine at drug stores and super markets. Lame fact: In New York, you can only by wine and hard alcohol at liquor stores!
3. Chateau Diana is juice in wine’s clothing! It LOOKS like a suitable offering to bring to a party. But trust me, DON’T DO IT! Chose that 6 pack of legit beer from the Duane Reade fridge instead! Wine product will get you made fun of all night and no one will drink it!
Rite Aid is currently hawking this swill in their Valentine’s Day displays. Don’t fall for Diana! She might be the least romantic beverage ever. That is, unless you met your sweetie at a party where you BOTH brought Chateau Diana and were ostracized from the group… then drink up and UGH CONGRATS ON YOUR ADORABLE MEET-CUTE #jelly.
Otherwise, 5 out of 6 New Yorkers say Chateau Diana is a DEAL BREAKER.*
I’m just going to boast for a minute and say I never brought a bottle of this shit to a party. I don’t remember what saved me from making this classic New York Cliché blunder. Maybe having this blog. But I have had people bring it to parties I’ve hosted! What do you do when you’re obsessed with sustainability and someone brings you a beverage you can’t stomach? Make CD sangria. It’s actually not bad.
Do you have a Chateau Diana story? Is this the first time you’ve ever heard of it? Anyone out there actually like “wine product”?
*totes made up this “statistic”