Singing for a Central Park Marriage Proposal

Once upon a time long, long ago, before Glee was even a twinkle in Ryan Murphy’s eye, I was a choir kid. From age 7 to age 17, choir was my extracurricular de-jour. By high school, I had sung numerous times with the San Francisco Symphony; toured to Latvia, Finland, and Estonia; participated in the 6th World Choral Symposium; and even been part of the “children’s chorus” on a Grammy winning album. Yes, I’m kinda bragging but honestly, it was kinda a big deal. I had “mad skills” (this was California slang when I was a teenager) for singing and sight-reading four-part harmonies.

Then one day, I grew up. I was no longer a child, thus the days of singing in a world recognized children’s chorus had to end.  I went to college. There the college choir was so beneath the standard I was accustomed to that couldn’t bear to sing in it. So I didn’t. The years passed.

Today I find myself mere days away from turning 27. My days of singing are almost exactly a decade past. It seems a life time ago, in some ways. Yet it’s all still close to my heart.  The friendships I made from choir include Miranda and Charlotte. I’ll never find better friends, I know that with certainty. Plus, I still sing! Easily with more strength, ease, and control than I ever had as a choir kid. My sight-reading skills are abysmal compared to what they once were, but put a four-part piece in front of me and I’ll figure it out. This was put to the test when Charlotte asked if I was available to sing for a wedding proposal in Central Park.

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Charlotte, Miranda, and the bass section of singers

It was a glorious Saturday in June. Sunny, warm but not unbearable. We stood on the hill up from Bethesda Fountain, the 12 of us in a circle, and rehearsed the 2 songs together for the first time. We sounded pretty good, for that circumstance. Jake, the man planning to propose in T-minus one hour, told us so as he stopped by. He looked appropriately nervous as he handed each of us a 50 bill, thus making our ensemble professional, and a bag of rose petals. He went over the proposed proposal plan.

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This is the bridge we sang on and where the proposal occurred under.

This is what great tales of romance are made of. Well, at the least, romantic YouTube videos. The plan began with a boat ride on Central Park (a splendid past time as I recently discovered). Jake would row his girlfriend (hopefully soon fiance) across the lake. The twelve singers he had hired would be waiting a top the bridge. As their boat neared the bridge, we would begin singing- casually, like street musicians. Once they disappeared under the bridge, Jake was going to propose. Presumably she would say yes. Then, as the boat emerged from the other side of the bridge, we would burst out into “Ode to Joy” and throw down rose petals from above.

It all sounded perfect in theory. But as us singers gathered on the bridge, we realized how many things could go wrong with this plan. How would we recognize their boat from afar? Would we know when she said yes? She would say yes, right? What if we began singing to early, finishing the song prematurely? Suddenly, these small worries melted away, replaced with a large, glaring one. Musicians began setting up on the south entrance of the bridge. We stood in the middle, our mouths agape in disbelief. A wedding was about to take place on this bridge! A wedding march would obliterate our proposal sound track!

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Yet, somehow, love prevailed. All the worry was for not. We recognized the boat and simply sang the song twice as they approached. They disappeared under the bridge and a moment later we heard applause and a shouted Congratulations! from the lower shore line. There was no doubt she had said yes. We burst into song, raining down rose petals. The look on the new bride-to-be’s face when she emerged was perfect. A glorious combination of shock, awe, joy, and love. The flower petals floated on the water. I, a notorious sap, struggled to hold back tears. I gotta admit, it was awesome to be part of such a moment.

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That’s their boat in the foreground. We were told she was wearing red, and before spotting them, suspected every person wearing anything in the “red” color wheel. You can just make out the petals on the water in this picture.

We tried hard not to stare, not to watch them row away, letting them share the moment together. Two people who had just agreed to be married and spend the rest of their lives together. It is impossible to have a private moment in Central Park on a glorious summer day. As the group of singers left the bridge, a bride and groom approached, about to be married. Not 20 yards away was another bridal party, two people who had just been married, now approaching the bridge to take picture to commemorate the wedding.

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See the approaching bridal party in the distance?

This Central Park bridge on this glorious June Saturday was the ultimate cross-section of love.

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Happy wedding season! Central Park is full of them, positively crawling with brides!

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Boating in Central Park is SO FUN

You can never run out of things to do in this city: it’s a New York cliché, a New York reality. I lose respect for anyone who finds themselves bored while in the four boroughs (you’re allowed, expected, to be bored in Staten Island). It’s easy to get overwhelmed by possibility, activities on your “Leisure To-Do List” are easily forgotten. One day you wake up and realized you’ve lived in the city for five years. For each of those five years, you’ve said to yourself, “I want to go boating in Central Park.” 10 seasons of appropriate boating weather have come and gone, still you’ve never been. One day you wake up, you look out the window and the sky is blue, crystal clear. You throw your arms up in the air, “No more excuses! This is the day I float in the middle of Central Park!”

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The weather was perfect, a glorious June Saturday. Here’s something you might not know: when you live in New York, you start hating Saturdays. The streets are swarmed, there is a wait at any restaurant worth going to, stores have long lines for dressing rooms and check out, every attraction is twice as crowded as it would be on a weekday. This is why I don’t mind working weekends. But sometimes Saturday is the only time you and your boating companions have free.  So Charlotte, Miranda, and I headed to Central Park, prepared to face crowds and ready to wait however long it took to get a boat.

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We worried for nothing. At 2pm on a glorious Saturday, there was no wait. Honestly, if there was no wait then, I can’t believe there ever is one. We put down a $20 deposit for our boat and strolled right over to the next one ready. It was shockingly easy. Another thing that’s hard to believe? It is so cheap, seriously one of the cheapest activities you can find in overpriced Manhattan. $12 gets you a boat for an hour and you can put as many as four people on that boat! That’s $12 per boat, not per person. Hard to believe, right? It’s a great date idea, we saw loads of couples. Also saw a lot of girl friends just like us. Then there was a group of four 20-something fratty-looking guys who got into the boat in front of us. They broke the stereotype. And made me consider how different this story might have been if I, or any of my girl friends, were single.

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At the boat house, the personnel sit you in the boat and push you off shore. That’s it. No one asks if you know how to row, no one gives you a lesson. They just push you in the deep end and hope you figure it out. Some do better than others. A couple of middle schoolers, clearly on a date and so painfully awkward it was adorable, paddled in circles. It’s not uncommon to see boats stranded on the edge of the pond, often a paradox of comedy and tragedy: a dude trying to impress his date soon finds himself disgraced by an inability to row. I can’t remember the last time I rowed a boat previously, but it all came back pretty fast!

The 72nd Street cross is probably the area of the park I know best. It was brilliant to see all edges of the lake and the surrounding city scape from a new perspective.

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Could the day have been any more lovely? Hard to believe this is in the heart of NYC isn’t it?

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On days like this, the park is full of street performers. While on the lake, we heard the music of an amped guitar and a singer on a microphone. The notes of “You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman” wafted over the lake. Alone in our boat, surrounded by water, and no other boats within 100 feet, we started singing along at the top of our lungs. Reason #926 I love Charlotte and Miranda.

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My beautiful boating buddies and Bethesda Fountain!

Really, it couldn’t have been a more perfect outing. Now I want to go boating all the time. Of course, that’s not going to happen, but this is for sure: I’ll be damned if wait 5 years to go boating again! You shouldn’t wait either. Boats are available from 10AM to 5:30PM daily. We even returned our boat 3 minutes after our hour timestamp and were shocked that they didn’t charge us for the full 15 extra minutes. So nice! See the official Central Park site here.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend!

Saturday Night Heels: Bling It On and Win with Hpnotiq

When I think “Saturday night in NYC” the first two things that come to mind are alcohol and high heels.  Tonight, all over the city, you will find women in the most glam shoes you can image, sipping cocktails that range from standard (cosmopolitans) to exotic. Where ever this Saturday night finds you, you can join in this New York ritual.
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Though this is mostly for the ladies, fellas, the thought of gorgeous women in high heels and short dresses should keep you happy.

Hpnotiq GlamLouder Bling It On! Bottle Image
The perfect blend of Premium French Vodka, Exotic Fruit Juices, and a Touch of Cognac to make any Saturday night glamorous.

So ladies, who doesn’t love glam things? From now until July 28th 2013, Hpnotiq wants you to show them how you GLAM LOUDER to win fab prizes! During each 2-week challenge you can submit photos in different categories to win – including the glammest heels, nails, makeup and overall look. Entries can be pictures you snap yourself or images you find online.

It’s a cliché: New York women love shoes. Of course I’m no exception. The thing about New Yorkers though is that we walk everywhere. I love fabulous high heels as much as the next girl, but I begin to hate them when my feet ache after 5 blocks. I have a hunch quality is key in this regard, and I’m dying to buy a pair of glam high heels that are beautifully made. Alas, this is way out of my starving artist budget. That’s why I need to win them!

Want to enter? Hpnotiq’s Glammest Heels Challenge is going on RIGHT NOW – but hurry – the entry period for the glammest heels ends at 11:59:59 a.m. EST on June 16th! For the first challenge, participants are asked to share their latest SHOE CRUSH! Hpnotiq wants you to show them the glammest heels you can find. Snap a pic of your own, or find a pic of that pair of shoes online you’ve been stalking for months! For this round, they’re choosing 4 lucky winners to get their choice of glam heels valued at up to $800.

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My shoe crush, Jimmy Choo of course: gorgeous, glamorous, elegant.

Can you have a glam shoe and have it not be a high heel? I’ve thought about this a bit recently, wearing high heels gets a little tricky when your boyfriend is only an inch taller than you. Those gorgeous Jimmy Choos have a walkable heel at 3.5 inches, which brings me to a height of just under 6′. One does find women taller than their dates all over the red carpet, but if I don’t want Harry to feel like Tom Cruise, maybe I can bling it on with these beauties:

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Glam with a 3/4 inch heel? I think so! They’re Valentino, can’t get more glam than that!

Are you ready to Bling It On? Here are the glamorous prizes that are up for grabs: One pair of shoes of your choice(Up to $800), One purse of your choice(Up to $1,000), One year of manis/pedis worth up to $1,200, a $1,000 gift card to Sephora or Ulta, AND a chance to win the grand prize trip for you and three friends to go shopping with a celebrity Los Angeles! Even better – the grand prize winner will star in a professional photo shoot for the chance to be in a real Hpnotiq Ad!

To enter visit http://9nl.it/irby/, or visit Hpnotiq’s Facebook page OR follow @Hpnotiq on twitter and tweet them your picture using the hashtag #GLAMLOUDER.  Remember, if you’re one of the 4 winners, you’ll also be able to compete in the final round for a chance to win a grand prize trip for you and three friends to meet a famous celebrity in LA, for shopping, makeovers AND you might also star in a photo shoot for the chance to be in a real Hpnotiq Ad!

For full contest rules: http://www.hpnotiq.com/uploads/glamlouder_rules/

This post sponsored by Hpnotiq.

Sometimes It’s a Long Trip to “I Love You”

Some people plan romantic moments to say “I love you.” Some people blurt out the words in a moment of spontaneous passion. Then there is yours truly, who shows up unannounced with a half-empty box of wine, no sort of plan in her mind, driven mostly by fear that waiting one more day would destroy my sanity. [If you want the full intro, look here.] Would he even be home? Maybe he’d open the door and I would say, “Hi! Guess what? I brought you some shitty wine! Also, I love you!”

I rang the doorbell. Harry’s friend, Zach, answered. So much for the Tell-Him-At-the-Door plan.
“Hey,” said Zach, completely unfazed to see me, “What’s up?”
“Uh, hi Zach, is Harry home?” I asked, feeling like I had been transported out of the city, out of the 21st century, to a bygone era when this sort of thing was normal. The concept of “just drop by anytime” is completely bizarre in present-day New York City.
“Yeah,” Zach replied opening the door wider, “He’s right here. Harry, look who’s showed up.”

My boyfriend arose slowly, shirtless, from the coach. He looked slightly bewildered, like he was trying to recall a forgotten communication.
“I was in the neighborhood,” I explained, “My phone is dead so I figured I’d take my chances and stop by, see if you were home.” The TV was on, paused on a frame of the HBO show Rome. “If I’m interrupting a boys’ night, I can totally leave. Really. I know it’s weird I’m here completely out of the blue.”

“No, no, no,” said Zach. “Stay.”
“It is awesome you’re here.” Harry said, putting on a shirt and giving me a kiss, “A lovely surprise.”
The boys welcomed me with open arms, offering me beer, asking if I could stay for dinner. Still, something felt off.  The episode of Rome turned back on, I sat struggling to differentiate characters who all have the same haircut. It was a nice distraction from the Tell-Him-You-Love-Him task set before me.

Suddenly, Harry paused the episode again, “I have to tell you something.” My heart skipped a beat. These words are often a precursor to the three big ones I’d been obsessing over. Were Harry and I so compatible, so on the same page, that the same thoughts were plaguing both our brains? Was he about to confess his love for me while sitting in his living room, his friend on the futon opposite us?

Harry spoke, “So, well, Zach and I dropped dica right before you got here. Yeah. It hasn’t hit yet, but it’s about to.”

This was not, in a million years, what I was expecting to hear.

Perhaps you don’t know what dica is. Perhaps because I made it up. Let’s just say dica is exactly like the psychedelic drug known as “acid” but with one very important exception: dica is perfectly legal in the USA. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Therefore, it is not at all questionable that I am sharing my boyfriend’s infrequent recreational dica use. He and Zack were celebrating some pretty extensive achievements between them. They deserved a trip, really a vacation. But when time and money are scarce, well, you take any trip you can. Moral of the story: Harry doesn’t have a problem, I don’t have a problem, and I hope you don’t have a problem either.

I stared at him in disbelief and then burst out laughing. This is my life! Of course the moment I resolve to declare my feelings, I find the object of my affection in a completely altered state of mind! Of course! Just goes to show, you can’t plan this sort of thing! Or you probably can, it’s just me who completely fails; and true to form, fails in an utterly comedic manner.

One thing was for sure, I absolutely couldn’t say anything that night. It wasn’t exactly hard to restrain myself. It turned out to be a fun night, watching my boy and his best friend get utterly ridiculous. More entertaining than any show on HBO. I fed off their buzz, aided by copious glasses from the box of wine. In the wee hours of the morn, the effects of the dica mostly worn off, Harry and I collapsed into bed and slept oh-so-soundly.

When I awoke, morning light was peaking through the curtains. Having no concept of time, I peered at the clock by the bed, 9:30 AM. Much later than I was hoping, I’d have to leave soon. If I didn’t say “I love you” now, I’d have to wait several days until I saw Harry again. My heart started thumping loudly in my chest, making my decision before my brain. I was going to say it, now.

I could feel Harry awake next to me and wondered if my heart was beating so loudly he could hear it.
“Are you still tripping?” I asked.
“No,” he said, “That ended hours ago.”
Silence filled the next moments as my brain and heart hammered away. Just say it. Just open your mouth and say it. SAY IT!
I took a breath.I love you.” I said, “I do. Even when you’re tripping on dica.” Yep, that is how I told my boyfriend I loved him. No lead in, no preface, just completely unceremonious and first thing in the morning.
“Oh yeah?” he chuckled, “That’s awesome.”  He put his arms around me and squeezed me tight, “That’s fantastic,” he said and then fell silent.

….

A deafening silence, it hung in the air like humidity does on New York summer days. Instead of freaked out, I felt strangely zen. I had said what I needed to say, the matter was now out of my hands. The silence extended. Lying in his arms but feeling positively unattached, my brain calmly assessed the situation: So this is what unrequited love feels like. Huh. Guess I totally misjudged this one. Hm. Well, now starts the ticking time bomb. How long do I give him to say it back? If he doesn’t say it back in-

Acutely aware of his slightest movement, I felt Harry inhale before he exhaled, “I love you, too.”
Phew. I grinned, relief now bathing everything in new light, “Well you certainly paused long enough for me to doubt it!”
“I’m sorry,” he said earnestly, “You did catch me totally off guard though.”
“I know, but I had to say it! Actually, I’m kinda glad you made me lie in silent agony for five minutes,” he hugged me tighter, “I never want to take this for granted.”

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There you have it. That’s my story of saying I love you first. I’d love to hear other people’s “I love you” stories! Please share them in the comments section!

If I Don’t Say “I Love You” My Brain Will Explode

I can not pinpoint the moment I realized I loved Harry*. But soon every time I saw him it became more apparent. I was finally in love for the first time, at the ripe old age of 26! At last I can verify that the clichés are true: my heart felt full to bursting, my stomach invaded by butterflies. The songs are also true: not only was I as corny as Kansas in August, but high as a flag on the 4th of July as well. Hey, I’ll admit it: I wanted to shout his name from the rooftops!

The one thing stopping me is that my building doesn’t have roof access. Ok, fine, that’s not the real reason. I totally would’ve gone through the emergency exit and become the bane of my neighborhood; my shouts of “I LOVE HARRY” met with a chorus of New York cliché “FUCK YOU!” Thing is, even in my love-sick state, I was lucid enough to hold this truth: you don’t shout someone’s name from the rooftops until you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they love you too.

Harry had yet to express any feelings for me beyond the four little words, “I really like you”. Normally, I would run to my girl friends for advice, but this time I couldn’t. The idea that anyone should know I was in love before the very person I was in love with was unthinkable. Unable to ask my friends, I ran to the internet. Who should say “I love you” first? When should you say it? How do you blog about it after it’s said? My two favorite former-single-gal blogs, 20-Nothings and Fieldwork in Stilettos, provided the best substitute for real friends: advice, personal anecdotes, answers to my most burning questions. Time and again, the internet brought up the same conclusion: guys usually say “I love you” first. So I waited.

I lasted all of a week. I sat through two dates hoping he’d say those three little words. Then I got tired of waiting. In matters of the heart, turns out I’m an impatient person. After each of these two dates, discord and turmoil exploded from the two sides of my brain.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” the Left Side demanded, “What are you waiting for? You love this man! Tell him!”
“But, but, what if he doesn’t love me back?” my Right Side worried.
“Oh please, he adores you. It’s stupidly obvious,” retorted the Left Side.
“Well then why hasn’t he said it?” Right Side reasoned.
“Maybe he’s scared. We might just love a man who’s scared of saying those words.”
“That sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“Well hell, I’m scared too!”
“Suck it up. You’re starting to feel like shit every time you see him and don’t say it. Is that worth it?”
“….”
“Is it?”
“No.”
“So fucking do it.”
“FINE! MAYBE I WILL!”

This is how I ended up on Harry’s doorstep. A box of wine in my hands, the resolve to say three words now in both sides of my brain. I stood there completely unannounced, unsure if he was even home. My cell phone was dead. If he wasn’t there, I decided, I’d leave the box of wine on the doorstep with a note attached. He’d think it was hilarious. If he was home, I would tell him how I felt. Or die trying. No chickening out. Half hoping he wasn’t home, half praying he was, I rang the door bell.

To be continued…
Click for Part 2!

*Not his real name. I gave my boyfriend the pseudonym “Harry” in an homage to the Sex and the City character and because he has a lot of hair. Of the chest variety as well as on his head which he usually wears in a ponytail reaching well down his back.

5 Years Ago: NYC Dating Initiation

You tell people you’ve lived in NYC for five years and you feel their attitude towards you shift. There’s a new level of respect, sometimes a palpable feeling of admiration, and always the look of “this bitch is tougher than she looks if she’s lasted that long.” It’s similar to the feeling when you tell people you’ve had a blog for five years. They start to take you seriously thinking, “Hmm, I should check that out” as opposed to, “Yeah, we’ll see how long that lasts.”

That I can claim both, let me tell you, it’s a pretty awesome feeling.

So much has changed in five years. Five years ago today I was getting ready for a first date. My first date in New York. My first date as an adult. My first date that he planned and paid for everything. My first date that ended with an awkward kiss outside the subway. My first date where I freak out over what to wear. My first date with a stranger. A stranger I met in Central Park on my very first day in New York City.

That meeting was the perfect start to New York life. It was also the perfect start to this blog. It seemed the perfect start to my quest for love. In a way it was. Read what I wrote five years ago, it’s interesting to see how my style has changed. Funny to read how oblivious I was to what today I see so obviously as a pick-up. Here’s the blog post I wrote about my first full day in New York: Picked Up on A Park Bench.

I learned so much from that first relationship with Central Park Guy. I learned that if a guy says he’s not looking for a relationship, you will never change his mind. I learned to have this attitude towards men: asshole until proven innocent. It was a crash course in NYC dating, one with a man who was all wrong for me. A type of man all too common in the New York dating pool: The Nice Guy Turned Asshole. A guy who treated his last girlfriend like a princess only to be cheated on; now he seeks revenge on the entire female sex.

But that is wisdom learned from 5 years of dating in New York. On May 31, 2008 I knew none of that. I only knew I had a first date with an intelligent, age appropriate guy who wanted to take me to the MoMA. I had no idea we’d date on and off for 5 months. No idea that during one of the “off” periods he would get tattoos on each forearm. One reading, “NO SHAME” the other, “NO REGRET”. A clear broadcast of his extensive emotional baggage.  No idea that I would allow myself to be treated poorly.

I thought perhaps I would fall in love with the first guy I met in New York. I never dreamed it would actually take five years to find my first love. But more about that on Monday.

How to Wear a Kilt and Not Embarrass Your Girlfriend!

While there are many great things about having a boyfriend, there are still plenty I just do not understand. A few I physically dread. Okay, really only one.

I dread the inevitable day when my boyfriend wears his kilt and I have to be seen with him.

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My boyfriend, Harry*, owns a kilt. He loves it. He loves it so much he should marry it spent $250 on it. Dear reader, a query: did you just scream when you read that number? Did that price tag cause you to shoot a drink out of your nose all over your computer screen? If so, I sincerely apologize; and promptly put the blame on Harry. What a silly man to let slip he paid two-hundred-and-fifty-freaking-dollars for a piece of clothing. It is easily the biggest mistake he’s made thus far in our relationship. I shrieked when he told me and couldn’t stop laughing for 10 minutes. In between fits of giggles I did manage to squeak out the words, “I’ve never spent CLOSE to that on an item of clothing! And I’m a girl! Who likes clothes!”

Unlike these fellas, my boyfriend has Italian ancestry, not Scottish. He has no heritage excuse.
Unlike these fellas, my boyfriend has Italian ancestry, not British. He has no heritage excuse. [credit]
You might assume a man who spends that kind of money on a kilt is some sort of fashionisto. For Harry, this could not be farther from the truth. It has improved steadily since we started dating  in the past few months but when I first met him, Harry’s “style” was best described as “Shlubby High Schooler Chic”. That’s how I described it one night in a fit of inebriation-aided honesty, much to my poor boy’s chagrin.
“How many of your clothes date back to your teenage years?” I demanded, “I suppose it’s superficial, but I find you much more attractive when you look like a man and not a teenager.”
“When you put it like that, it makes perfect sense,” he acquiesced.

It’s not that I have anything against men in kilts. I’ve always found value in breaking convention. I’ll be the first one to say there is something sexy about a man who rocks a kilt. I believe Harry can get to that point, and when he does, I’ll no longer dread summer. I’ll happily walk down the streets with my kilted fella. I’m just scared he’s not there yet… In researching this article, I looked at every picture on Facebook where he is wearing a kilt. In every single one, I swear I’m not exaggerating, he is wearing a tie-dye t-shirt. An article of clothing approximately 100 times less expensive than that on his lower half. Irony?

How to Wear a Kilt

I can pinpoint it to this: The subtext of a man wearing a kilt should say, “Yes, I’m a man. Yes, I’m wearing a kilt.” If the outfit instead reads: “I don’t want to wear pants”, I’ll never find it attractive.
To illustrate:

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This guy looks great, no? Classic, cool, kilted. Subtext: “I am man enough to wear a kilt.” He is, he’s rocking it. [credit]
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In contrast, we have Mike Myers in a look that screams, “I don’t want to wear pants!” The t-shirt is almost as bad as a tie-dyed one and the shoes and socks are appalling. Every date night, this is my biggest fear. [credit]
Call me crazy, but I’d rather not be on the arm of a man who at first glance inspires the thought, “That dude’s not wearing pants.” As illustrated, this really doesn’t have to be the response to a kilt! But I suppose I should be thankful. As much as I hate the old shlubby t-shirt look, it could be so much worse. At least Harry has never worn his kilt in an outfit where the subtext is “I’m a shlubby potato sack”.

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A fun thing to say: my boyfriend looks better than Ed Westwick. [credit]
7th Annual "Dressed To Kilt" Charity Fashion Show - Runway
Proof that there are some outfits even models can’t make look good. Seriously, wtf? [credit]

Or “Look at me, I hate clothes so much I’ve chosen to make a bath towel an outfit! Then I got cold so, duh, I put on a scarf! I may be gorgeous but by wearing this outfit I prove there is nothing going on between my ears.”

Then there are some men who are man enough, so comfortable with their sexuality that they’ll wear pink AND a kilt. This is impressive.

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[credit]

Or it would’ve been if he hadn’t gotten scared at the last minute, worried it was too girly, and added the sword. Really, Gerard Butler? If YOU need to compensate, what are other men supposed to do? Well for some, they can feel awesome knowing they’re more confident than Gerard Butler. This guy is my favorite.

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[credit]

Instead of screaming “I have a penis!” by carrying a sword, he emanates, “I am handsome, intellectual, and talented. I’m a giving lover and your mother will love me too.” Boom: kilted dreamboat. See, I have no problem with a t-shirt when it’s not shlubby! Keeping it simple, totally manly, that’s sexy.

Of course, if you really want fashion advice, you look to the gays. Want to know how to wear a kilt in everyday life? Just ask Marc Jacobs:

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[credit]
Do you like your significant other’s fashion choices? What are your thoughts on kilts? Think they’re sexy? If you’re a dude- would you ever consider wearing one? Ladies, would you ever date a man who wears kilts? Ideas and advice on what to wear with a kilt?
Oh, and just because it’s always a question: no he doesn’t wear anything under.

*I will call my boyfriend “Harry” in an homage to the Sex and the City character and because he has a lot of hair. Of the chest variety as well as on his head which he usually wears in a ponytail reaching well down his back.

None of these images are mine, click photos for credit/Featured image link: credit