There are many rights of passage for those new to New York City. Taking an uptown train when you needed the downtown, giving money to the fake monk scam, and bringing Chateau Diana Sparkling Moscato to your first New York house party.
Every weekend, at house parties all over the city, New Yorker party hosts shriek: AGH! WHO BROUGHT CHATEAU DIANA!?
What is Chateau Diana?
1. Chateau Diana is a glorified grape juice sold at drug stores and bodegas. It is 6% alcohol by volume: a “wine product” the way Snapple is a “juice drink”. Give it a sip and you’ll be wishing it was manischewitz. I’m serious.
2. Chateau Diana is worth WHINING about! It looks exactly like wine, made to fool people from states where you can buy wine at drug stores and super markets.
Lame fact: In New York, you can only by wine and hard alcohol at liquor stores!
3. Chateau Diana is juice in wine’s clothing! It LOOKS like a suitable offering to bring to a party. But trust me, DON’T DO IT! Chose that 6 pack of legit beer from the Duane Reade fridge instead! Wine product will get you made fun of all night and no one will drink it!
Chateau Diana CVS Specialty Fake Wine
Rite Aid is currently hawking this swill in their Valentine’s Day displays. Don’t fall for Diana! She might be the least romantic beverage ever. That is, unless you met your sweetie at a party where you BOTH brought Chateau Diana and were subsequently ostracized from the group… then drink up and UGH CONGRATS ON YOUR ADORABLE MEET-CUTE #jelly.
Otherwise, 5 out of 6 New Yorkers say Chateau Diana is a DEAL BREAKER.*
I’m just going to boast for a minute and say never have I ever brought a bottle of this shit to a party. I don’t remember what saved me from making this classic New York Cliché blunder. Maybe having this blog. But I have had people bring it to parties I’ve hosted! What do you do when you’re obsessed with sustainability and someone brings you a beverage you can’t stomach? Make Chateau Diana wine slushies or sangria. In that form, it’s palatable.
Do you have a Chateau Diana story? Is this the first time you’ve ever heard of it? Anyone out there actually like “wine product”?
Update: I went wine tasting in Napa Valley and died laughing when stumbled upon the Chateau Diana vineyards! NO JOKE. Photographic evidence in this post: The New York Cliché Can’t Escape NYC on Her CALIFORNIA Vacation
*I totes made up this “statistic”
Thanks for the heads up, I won’t fall for Chateau Dianna’s cheap trick! Again, thank you for the grin and chuckle! You’re great!
Tip recently posted…Cyclone Snow Bomb
I’m Upstate. Same liquor laws, mainly. CVS near me carries Verdi which looks like champagne but is actually sparkling malt beverage.
Kinda like that Zima from high school in a fancy bottle. Malt like beer so you can buy it at a drug store. Someone brought (me, okay, me) it to an opera party because we did Trovatore (the one with the Anvil Chorus).
The bottle got drank but reactions were anywhere from amusement to subdued outrage. It either reminded people of high school or they were offended the name of Il Maestro was sullied in such a fashion.
woah!this is really helpful…will surely try to find one this kind of alcohol in my country.
I fell for the CD in NYC for the weekend being from Miami and not knowing you can’t buy real wine from a liquor store until reading this article. Just happened to read the label and felt like a fool for buying a $10 bottle of grape juice. We live and we learn.
My bff and I took a mother/daughter trip to NYC (from TX) and after a drugstore visit, brought back a splendid red Diane. I remember thinking it was weird they didn’t have much wine there. One sip and I knew this wasn’t wine, even BAD wine. Looked at the label and yep, grape juice. After some googling we learned of the liquor store rule and got some good stuff there. This definitely fools out-of-towners!!!
Wine tastes like furniture polish, Chateau Diana is at least making an effort to salvage that crap. Not everyone can be a snob and a jerk the same time like yourself.
I took a sip and poured it down the sink. Tasted like vinegar! May have cleared my pipes.
FYI: Chateau Diana is located in Sonoma County (not in Napa)
Thanks for sharing this review.
By the way, Belvedere Liquor is a premium store for liquor and wine, you can try their online store.
Thanks for sharing such amazing content.
Thanks for sharing this interesting thing… will give it a try.
Visiting NYC from Italy….looking forward to some Californian wine. I feel cheated by the “wine product” trick. I guess they covered themselves legally for selling fruit juice instead of wine but it’s utterly wrong to sell it in the guise of being wine.
I learned the hard way but please don’t buy this unless you want his kind of drink. Ita not snobbery but it’s belittling the centuries if evolved wine making just to make some fast money from people who didn’t read the label
It’s low alcohol; there is alcohol in it just not much which works for me. I enjoy it at night, and don’t get tired with it. Sure I’d prefer the good higher content stuff, but I don’t want to get tired and I don’t think this tastes bad ! Good too for afternoon gatherins, in the pool drink.
My mom is 88, weighs 97 pounds and is on eliquis. Chateau diana at 6% is perfect for her. When we go out to dinner I wash there was low alcohol options for her. One drink and she has trouble getting to the car. It’s good for people that can handle their booze too.