My birthday is this Sunday. I’m turning 29. I’ve already begun to feel the big 3-0 looming on the horizon. Only one more year of being a 20-something? EEK! Your 20s are the decade for making mistakes and not knowing what the fuck you’re doing with your life.
Your 30s? Not so much. As a 30-something certain things are way less socially acceptable. Behavior that’s seen as obnoxious from 20-somethings may be looked upon with judgment and downright distain in the next decade. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this, all the experiences I really NEED to do NOW. My last year to enjoy the excuse, I’M IN MY 20S, BITCHES!
So I made a 30 Before 30 list! Duh! It’s the perfect cliché thing to do!
1 Vomit in a public place
Bonus points if it’s in a cab or on the subway.
2 Dye my hair a completely unprofessional color
3 Drunkenly confess my love for someone
4 Kiss a girl to attract male attention
5 Make out with 2 people in one night
6 Join Tinder
While it’s still free! They charge people over 30!
7 Participate in Santa Con
I’ve previously referred to this as NYC’s most hated holiday tradition.
8 Do a keg stand
This will likely induce the vomiting required for #1! Two birds!
9 Dance on a bar
And not fall off and crack my head open. #ULTIMATECHALLENGE
10 Crash a wedding
Mega bonus points if I can pull of #5 with 2 groomsmen!
11 Get a random tattoo for no reason
12 Have sex in a bathroom stall
13 Wear booty shorts in public
Expose my cheeks to the city streets.
14 Couch surf
15 Go streaking
16 Throw a toga party
17 Ask my parents for money
18 Go to a music festival
And wear a flower crown, #13, and bikini top #obvi #festivaluniform
19 FINALLY get my fucking drivers license
Yeah… I still haven’t done this… #newyorkcliche
20 Try a recreational drug
I think I know someone who could get me acid!
21 Attempt to wear killer heels out, give up by the walk home
Barefoot and wasted by night. Tetanus shot by day.
22 Subscribe to Cosmopolitan magazine
There better be an article “47 Ways to Drive Him Wild in a Bathroom Stall”! (See#12)
23 Break up with some one over text
24 Move back home with my parents
Tempting every winter as I’m from San Francisco.
25 Spend an entire day playing video games
26 Have a pregnancy scare
27 Go to the midnight screening of “The Hunger Games”
#TeamPeeta
28 Write a piece for Though Catalogue
It could totes be a version of this article!
Or maybe I’ll write “47 Ways to Drive Him Wild in a Bathroom Stall”
29 Wear a cliché slutty costume on Halloween
A Sexy Pigeon #NewYorkCliche?
30 Travel the world
This one for real though…
You could argue a person can do whatever the fuck they want, no matter what their age! You could argue 29 is already too old for plenty of my list! I’m not here to argue, I’m not here to judge 40-year-olds who throw toga parties. I’m here to ask a very important question: Should I treat this as a bucket list and try tick off all 30 from the list before I turn 30? And blogs about each on I complete, chronicling my progress here? OR should I celebrate the fact I’ve made it to 29 without ever doing any of these?
Go for it and blog all about it! Life is about having fun. Heck, I’m way older than you and look at me. I still party like a rockstar, yet also make sure I take care of my responsibilities too. Age is just a frame of mind. Now go out there ane rock it!
Phil recently posted…The Times They Are A-Changin’ in NYC and Across the Land
Yes blog about it , although the vomiting in public , pregnancy scare, and walking barefoot , not so much. I definitely think tinder, toga party, and some sort of backpack would be great . I can’t wait to hear your decision! Oh and I “stumbled” your post.
Trudy recently posted…The High Line Park: Abandoned Railway Re-Purposed
I say no to treating this as a bucket list because there are a few things here that could potentially cause you harm emotionally and/or physically, and I would like to see you around happy and healthy 🙂
“30” might be overreaching. Instead of an arbitrary number, consider a theme, such as “Flirty Before Thirty,” “Dirty Before Thirty” or “Sturdy Before Thirty” (although that last one would likely result in a rather boring blog). P.S. Consider revising #7 to “Luring a Bunch of Drunken Ersatz Santas to Leap Lemming-like into the East River.”
If at all possible, NEVER do anything you don’t really WANT to do….and some of these are definitely things a person might do because they were young & foolish, but would not be things to do just because you want to check them off a list.
#1…. it happens, but you shouldn’t try to do it on purpose;
#2…. go for it! I wish I could get away with it, just for a little while, at my age, but it would not go over well for a catholic-middle-school teacher…. my 19-year-old can tell you what brand she orders from Amazon.
#3…oh god only if you really do & are willing do deal with the consequences (positive or negative)
#10… NO. Why would you risk negatively impacting the wedding of a pair of total strangers?
#11…No, you would be stuck with something that should be very personal, but isn’t.
#12…Bathroom stalls are for taking care of urination & defecation. Under the stars on a camping trip would be sooooooooooooooo much better. 😀
#19…You really don’t need one while you live in NYC, but on the other hand, if you learn how to drive in NYC, you can handle just about anywhere else!
#23…”Do unto others….” is a good rule to live by…. so I would say, NO. Do not earn bad karma points if you can avoid it!
#26…. why would you do that on purpose? OMG, nooooooooooooooooo
#30…. YES! Daughter is taking the easy way (study abroad programs through her school — London, west Africa, & India and she just finished her sophomore year…. damn, that was NOT an option where/when I went to college!), but if you can swing it now, swing it now! And THAT you should definitely blog about!
You haven’t danced on a bar yet? You must do that ASAP!
Thanks for always making us smile, Birthday Girl!
Tiny recently posted…The World is Flat (and so am I)
I’m in two minds about this. Some of the things on this list I would really not like to think of you going through – I am too invested, as a person on the internet from the other side o the planet, to know that you are putting yourself at risk for our pleasure.
However, I would love to see you do a Thought Catalog piece about sex in a bathroom stall.
Charlotte recently posted…Things That are Pissing Me Off This Week
I discovered your blog just today and I’m loving it, I’m on my last 2 months as a 29 year old gal I’m scared but yet exited and the 1st thing I want to do once I turn 30 (sept 6) is live in NY(I’m at Mexico at the moment), hopefully my dream comes true, I don’t really have a bucket list going on but I’ve done pretty funny unforgettable stuff and I enjoyed my 20’s so so much I’ll miss them but everyone keeps saying 30’s are the best… we’ll see about that, I’ll just try to make them the best …see you in NY hopefully soon
Loved this! I feel like you might be able to cross off something like 10 of these at one night on a really good date.