April 23, 2014 is the 450th anniversary of William Shakespeare’s birth. As an actor and a writer, I’m inclined to celebrate such a historic event in some dramatic and literary way!
Thus I have decided to spend the day bellowing Shakespearian insults throughout New York City. Why?
- I’m great at bellowing. You probably wouldn’t know it from this blog, but I have a seriously loud voice.
- I’m tired of the New York cliché anthem, “Fuck you, asshole”. It is said and heard so many times in this city that it no longer carries the same weight as it does in say, Cleveland.
- Shakespeare was a master insulter. Perhaps the best on record. Now I wouldn’t doubt he said “Fuck you, asshole” when some idiot knight cut off his horse once. But in his plays the variation of insults, many take the “fuck you” sentiment above and beyond, is astounding.
- It’ll be easy because I just got this super fun book.
Authors Sarah Royal and Jillian Hofer have compiled over a hundred of Shakespeare’s best insults into a mix-and-match book called THOU SPLEENY SWAG-BELLIED MISCREANT. All I have to do with this handy dandy book is flip up from the 3 sets of pages and I have juicy things to yell at cab drivers!
You PERNICIOUS, HARPY, WHORE-SON- I have the right of way! You almost killed me!
At jerks who cut lines: 
Get to the back of the line you FOUL-REEKING, SWAG-BELLIED, PUTTOCK!
At bitches who shove and grab clothes out of other people’s hands at sample sales: 
Those shoes are mine you DOG-HEARTED, DEBOSHED, HARLOT!
How fun is that? I’m seriously giving this book to all my New York actor friends: together we’ll change the way this city curses! Best birthday present ever, right Shakespeare?
That’s my present to Shakespeare. To you readers, I’m giving away a copy of the book! Yep, it’s a Shakespeare birthday giveaway! To enter this give-away all you have to do is share this post on Facebook or Twitter. Then just leave a comment below saying you shared it. That’s it! You have until Sunday April 27th to enter. I’ll announce the winner on Monday! And if you can’t wait until then, find it at your local bookstore or online.
Don’t be a SPLEENY SWAG-BELLIED MISCREANT, enter my give-away! 🙂 
Book copy for give-away provided by Perseus Book Group, who contacted me to write this post. That said, I was not otherwise compensated to host this give-away.
I’m going to share it and I won’t even mind not winning because I was going to share it even before I knew it was a contest!
aw, you’re already a winner in my book! Thanks so much, you’ve totally got karma, and that always helps win give-aways 🙂
Consider this SHARED!!!
The book is cool and all, but it’s just an excellent excuse to share your awesome writing
I have a feeling the cost of shipping something to Norway will decrease my chances of winning, but that’s OK! I was also going to share this before I knew it was a contest.
Oh, and in case I didn’t make this clear: I did share this. Here is the link to prove it: https://twitter.com/julierandersen/status/458879920325009408
Great thoughts there, thou red-jacketed golden-tress’d siren. Have just tweeted your post. And please don’t forget, on this day of all days, that The Bard was English. Happy St George’s Day.
I am sharing this because it deserves to be shared (and I am too tired to come up with my own birthday tribute to The Bard).
I shared it. Although, I don’t think you should get birthdays once you’re dead. They’re a celebration that you didn’t die for another year.
I did share it upon me own page. T’were not only out of fear for me own wretched life, but also out of a genuine hope that this will raise calibre of insults I am subjected to.
Shared! Because both you and Shakespeare are fun wordsmiths. The perfect combination. 😉
Shared on my page., not to win, but because You are awesome!
Aw, poo, I’m sad I missed this contest. (Must check NY Cliche more!) I have the same birthday as Shakespeare so it’s doubly fun for me to celebrate. 🙂
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