It was never going to be a good morning. That’s a tall order for any Monday, but this one especially. I’d spent the majority of the weekend curled up in the fetal position in bed, suffering from food poisoning. Now I was back out in the world, no longer able to guiltlessly binge-watch Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, I was on my way to work.
The 7 train traveling from Queens into Manhattan is always crammed with people. If you’re lucky and there are no delays, you’ll get on the train easily, maybe even have a hint of personal space. On many mornings, however, the train is so full when it gets to my station, I must suck in my stomach, hug my bag close to me, and press myself between the closing doors and the rest of the humanity squeezing themselves into the metallic exoskeleton of the subway.
If you’re a New Yorker, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Chances are you squeezed yourself onto a car during your commute this very morning. But if you are not a New Yorker and have never been stuck on a subway train at rush hour, it might be hard to understand. You’ll never see the true scene captured on screen because no production can afford to hire that many extras.
Gummy bears, all smooshed together at the bottom of a candy bag, have more personal space than New York commuters. It’s an uncomfortable, absurd reality of New York life that we must endure if we have and hope being on time to work.
I press my body against strangers on a near-daily basis. There’s an automated announcement that periodically broadcasts over the train intercom system:
“A crowded subway is no excuse for unlawful sexual conduct.”
Given the circumstances I just described, you might assume “unlawful sexual conduct” runs rampant. How could red blooded men control possibly themselves in such close proximity to lady folk? We’re asking for it, getting on these mad house trains that are the only way we can get an appropriate amount of sleep and to work on time. Boys will be boys.
All things considered, unlawful sexual conduct on the New York subway is actually surprisingly rare. I lived in the city 10 years (though granted, did not commute during rush hour for the majority of that time) and never experienced it. I also can’t remember the last time I heard a friend or co-worker rage that she’d been felt up on the subway. It’s been a while. So when I felt a hand on my left butt cheek on this horrible Monday morning after a weekend of food poisoning, I froze.
All the thoughts that go through your head when you’re the victim of “Unlawful Sexual Conduct” on the New York subway
This is my stream of consciousness, to the best of my memory:
There is a hand on my butt.
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
Wait, the train is so crowded, maybe this is an honest mistake. I’ll move away as much as possible in the insanely crowded train car.
The hand has moved off my butt. Yay. Phew.
I’m still really uncomfortable and on high alert. I swore to myself I would be more trusting of my intuition, and it’s screaming that there was nothing honest about that hand on my butt.
But what do I do? What do I say? All I want to do is start screaming FUCK YOUS at this pervert who is making me feel unsafe! But what if I do that on this crazy crowded train? What will happen? Pandemonium? Nothing useful, nothing safe. Fuck.
FUCK HIS HAND IS BACK. ON MY THIGH THIS TIME. OH FUCK NO.
I’m getting off at the next stop. I can move as far away from this fucker as I possibly can and endure for 2 minutes. Then it will all be over. God. Damnit.
I didn’t know what to do and I’m not proud of how I reacted. But it’s what happens when we’re caught off guard, when we’re thrust into Survival Mode by some piece of shit. I got off the subway 2 minutes later and felt gross the rest of the morning. It could have been a lot worse.
Since this shitty commute, I’ve talked to people about their experiences. I’ve come up with what I wish I had said. How I wish I had claimed control of the situation and my body, called the groper out for his fuckery and warned other people on the train.
“The person who has his hand on my butt needs to remove it NOW.”
Spoken loudly and calmly, this would not cause pandemonium on a crowded train. It would make it clear I am being violated, but not so confrontational that is risks the perpetrator lashing out in a dangerous way. It conveys I am not to be fucked with.
That’s what I wish I had said. I would also like to hear any advice you have for dealing with this kind of situation. We can all stand to be as prepared as possible. Even though the vast majority of New York commuters respect the bond forged between humans sharing an unbelievable tight space and a mutual hatred of the MTA. at a time no where near rush hour.
All photos in this post were captured by Peter DeGiglio Photography, at a time no where near rush hour.
Did you stop doing email notifications? I realized I hadn’t gotten anything in a long time and I don’t see any subscription box on your site.
Hi! I like Sara miss your emails! Can I get back on your email list?
I would have reached around, grabbed his wrist, spun around to confront him and loudly announce to the entire train what he was doing. He made you uncomfortable and ruined your morning, it’s fair game, make him uncomfortable and ruin his day! I, too, aren’t getting emails any more.Been missing you and your posts. Hope all is well!
Dont you Dreams, for any Times also.?
Me too
Public – by underGrund Stress.
To jakkel so we Gernan just to say, ruf by trickicak hool in My baggy throusers. Unser full. Celebration. And only in füll loudness.
I do no, busy honour bout my. Sexuall Power and.
AT rush hour to work and Back. No Child. So I Jakkel my like in Germane say rosa Rüssel. Mit übergröße immer ein abwechslungsreicher hin guker.
Aber meisten setz ich mich zu attraktiv abgeklärten zeitverstehenden Frauen
Ich habe immer ein gutes Gefühl und es ergeben sich immer offenere Kontakte
Oder aber man ist am Handy
Poated, fragt ob sie stört, wenn Sie begleite.
Gestern bin ich mit meinem sehr erregten Schwanz versehen lach in eine Polizei
aufgehalten kurz hinter d.Ubahn.
Weil Sie dachte ich hätte eine Kanone( Waffe).
Irrtum und auch die Situation, lies sich als Geschäft kommizieren.
Hinter den Rolltreppen könne sie zur Pause, gern Uhren Vergleich machen
auch Blasen machte Sie. 3x
Orgasm. Blow, Fuck Police ass and finaly Totale.
But the least Sperms, She notice My Higher Suptatioballyhgher mushroos.
So, She got my to save.
Prison one Night. And She dicided to stay, becouse She canot, in this Trip at Look her husband.
And She called him to execuse, one Junky made her Over Time.
And After She,
End him She said,
We allone here, and there were Do much She want to notice me She is teresseted. Do we fucked us brain-less-endend. Gain.
Her Plan,
I Come 34x this night.
Und She say so eciting,
Colourd Waves
Next day, She cot me, in hotel. For first one Week.
Her Chef say nö Problem.
But She dicided, to forced by to bed,and an neverendung Time cince, She did me penetrante, by blow 2,5 day for nonstop. So my erektion,had me many, Time to ecept her Uniform. We, no She Was seven days After our night, She incenirt, for her Lsd-trip. Her Fatassy had no endend Horizont
I had 126,5 Orgasm.
But She made me to got,
Me to call her husband.
Carried with criminal Spezial
Because He was seriös Dr. for Forensik.
But nö Prob. I I.pruved.
This neverending will stoppt to give us, me Chance to, leave. But She wasnd, to Sense. She was shure She had Spezial aktion to explain
, She fucked animalisch her Trip got more Potentiall influence.
I got Problem.
She fucked my, like Sone 10 day ans nö ending I had.
No Boy notice She, corepondated, and my Redpotetional flowed bloody. I had big Pain.
So She Stop, to fuck me one
Moment.
She said She had
Action to check my,
Fitness, undercouver.
She had Total Wappen bout me for secret CIA,
To Do test for next.
I cried my bloody historial, exponatally Spezial nature.
But she licked me, Othervice She had Deal kill me secret service.
So I felt In nacoswd.
She like my ne er stopted
.
No one.
Helping me.
I wake up In Hospital For 5monrhs. To rehavilityes my Pencil back
But I am nö shur if He is same before.
I ne er had Cache to got right for Low.
This LSD Police Mutation LED me to decide to kocentratw Othervice this like before.
Puplic rubbing for sensfull.
Wonder Art Charakter I am,
Nö I ask my Human Now lege, Thing I never did. Befor.
And my wonder lenghth,
Nö same. No Women,
Aktakted Because Sexuall
35cm.
Nowerthing, Its no,
Nothing a 22reded. And
If
Samerimes I.
Became nowerlege
Asking Masturbating
Loveliy inspiration. For Animated us. By nö contact
Because Corona.
But She was at least very harmfull. So
Ii was not same puolic-dayly ornanic-underground- athmospher
So this Mother at ration.
Taste so very very sensfull.
And we decieded to got intim. Corpulate at my Space
And She. Sittedmy. Her
Rock, had. Prived us.
So She. Showed my this praktukal. Very harmfull.
After one Hour we bother got Orgasm.
And She. Got pregnant.
Twins.
Next month. My Familie rate 3 women,
About my potent Time.
Iit stopped
I got Familie Plans.
And we married.
From a. Mann Start up
Public atrations,
To a. Exibition
How it. Can be. Chance.
Least Familie Daddy( made all Job.)
Everyone why hade by nature same Bigg Attraktion.
Keep away with. Blowiing. Police, I dont Now, But
IT could had. They. Filx you up.
Bether you,
Had strigly rowlls, for youtuve, ore TV Spots, biologicall Institut
Or bodylovly. Women Who,
Need. Exemplar , if. Bether
Cominizierable,
Or you are to late,
And. Everyione had. Orgasm
And our society. Had no wars wild wild, couse everbody Who. Over finded,
Sexpartner, maybee coused sympathie, Solidarität, ore
Time Space give Situation no imagine for orher.
So Run with your
Start up,
Sexuall 43. Evermirning
The first Girl
Hot Chance
To be forced
Unexoacted by fisting.
And Puplic. Crumiinally
Focus.
HD Material.
But be Good. No Best but
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