There are few clichés bigger (or more revealing) than the Sexy Halloween Costume Cliché. Every year retailers spend less and less on fabric, trying to make the skimpiest outfits possible. Every year ladies give their skin one last hurrah before bundling it up to the outside world for the cold season.
It’s never been my scene. I reliably chose “cute” over “sexy” and prefer to assemble my Halloween costumes over buying a full ensemble from the store. But this October I couldn’t help but wonder, maybe I should embrace cliché in every way…
Sexy New York Cliché Costume Ideas
1. Sexi Taxi
Keep my meter running all night long. I don’t sit in shitty NYC traffic, yI cause it, baby. Worth it just for the gram of me wearing this, in an actual taxi at the end of the night – LOLZ. On sale at Halloween Express.
2. Sexy Statue of Liberty
“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” Tonight by “masses”, I mean TITS! Light up torch INCLUDED, $30 (AND I can wear it again 4th of July!) at WALMART.
3. Sexy Times Square Elmo
You want a TERRIFYING New York Cliché costume? Look no further than this horrifying Sexy Times Square Elmo. You know how I feel about those Elmos…fuck, this scares to joke about…Just $20 to give me nightmares, find it for 60% off at Yandy.com.
4. Sexy New York Pizza
Everyone knows real New Yorkers eat their pizza folded in half, and I’m more than flexible enough, wink wink. Just eat me up, crusts and all. Actually, maybe crusts first because this crust collar is even worse than ordering Dominos. For the cost of 52 dollar slices, I can truly embody the greasy glory of Sexy Pizza from Yandy.com!
These are the Sexy New York Cliché costumes available for purchase. If we wanted to get creative how about…
Sexy Metro Card!
Sexy Manhole Cover!
The super suggestive, Sexy Bridge and Tunnel….and
5. Sexy Bagel with Schmear
The hole in the middle is perfect for showing off those abs!
And the perfect last minute Sexy New York Cliche….
6. Sexy Bodega Cat
Cat ears, a roll of toilet paper in one hand, and a bacon egg and cheese in the other and you’re good to go! (Cat costume from Heaven Costumes.) I might actually do this one…who doesn’t love a bodega cat?
Happy Halloween! What are your thoughts on sexy costumes? And tell me what you dressing up as!