“That’s the problem with living in New York. You’ve got no New York to run away to.” – Amor Towles

It’s a cliché that New Yorkers shun tourists. We fume at their snail’s pace on our sidewalks and roll our eyes at their fascination with Times Square. Maybe we’re jealous of them. They’re experiencing all the magic of a New York vacation while we plug away at the New York daily grind.

There are two types of New York tourists: ones who whine, “Ugh, I don’t know how anyone could live here!” and those cry, “I can’t wait to come back.”

I try to live vicariously through the later.  They keep me from becoming too jaded. I discovered a Welsh bloke on Twitter, sharing the highlights of his New York vacation.

#NewYork cliché No. 1
Big Yellow Cab pic.twitter.com/oOo93IuvrC

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 5, 2016

It was only his and his partner’s second time in NYC but they clearly understood what this town is all about! And what this blog is all about too!

#NewYork cliché No.2 – pretending to have had what Meg Ryan had in that deli. pic.twitter.com/uxgGgR8l7i

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 6, 2016

His name was Glyn and I delighted in vicariously living through his week of sightseeing in NYC. I tried not to get too jealous of all the perfect New York Cliché sights he was visiting!

#NewYork cliché No.3 – pretending the Empire State Building is a carbuncle growing outta your head. pic.twitter.com/LOd0aHsvfl

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 6, 2016

Or his ability to casually use words like “carbuncle”, a word I only know because of a Sherlock Holmes story!

#NewYork cliché No. 4
Pretending to grasp Lady Liberty in your hand pic.twitter.com/cWvezq9CEi

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 7, 2016

I loved these New York cliché tweets more than I loved the Museum of Ice Cream. So I reached out to Glyn  to ask how his vacation was and if I could share his tweets on New York Cliché. l learned the trip was to celebrate his partner’s 40th birthday, that they’d only been in NYC once before on a tight budget, so this celebratory trip they were going all out. They did a great job- even stayed in the #1 hotel I recommend to people visiting NYC: citizenM. (It’s the coolest.)

“Whilst we were in NY we had a ball. We went to Book of Mormon on Broadway which is the funniest thing I have EVER seen on stage. We went to a fab piano bar called The Duplex where I ended up singing “My Way” on the open mic. We did some mandatory touristy things like Manhattan, Central Park and THAT statue – hence the tweets really. But we also wanted to explore Brooklyn which we really, really enjoyed.”

#NewYork cliché No. 5
Getting ketchup on your nose eating a hotdog in Coney Island pic.twitter.com/7gIlGmMyHx

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 8, 2016

Only the smartest tourists know to go to Brooklyn. Bravo, fellas.

#NewYork cliché No. 6
Brownstone stoop philosopher . . . pic.twitter.com/STuDnIDH4i

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 8, 2016

In the UK we grow up watching loads of American TV and movies – so we hear all about Twinkies and Coney Island, Root Beer and Gilligan’s Island, Regis and Saturday Night Live- but we don’t get any of that over here, so we have NO IDEA what any of it means!

Everyone who visits New York (and isn’t Amish) has grappled with the imagine of NYC they know from movies and the reality of actually experiencing a New York minute. But this takes it to another level!

 

#NewYork cliché No. 7
Meatballs. And pizza. (Simultaneously) pic.twitter.com/cnOj3rk1w0

— GlynjaminBluskies (@glynellishughes) September 9, 2016

We will definitely be back and won’t leave it so long next time.
We really do [INSERT MASSIVE BIG BEATING HEART EMOJI] NYC.

Says Glyn (you can find both him and his dashing partner on Twitter: @glynellishughes and @jmcloughlin ). And all the other tourists worthy of visiting our fair city. To this type of tourist I say: let me buy you a (overpriced to you, not for NYC) drink at the bar and As you drink it up, I’ll drink up your child-like wonder for the city I love.

For the other type of New York tourist? Y’all deserve nothing but incorrect directions for to Times Square.