Can I admit something stupid? Every time I publish a blog post, there’s a part of me that expects applause.
There are a total of 533 posts on this site. Do the math and that equals…533 deafening silences every time I clicked of the “Publish” button.
Alas! The pains of an actor turned writer! Oh whoa is me not being showered with validation every time I put something creative out into the world!
No one ever says, “You looked beautiful up there tonight, writing that blog post.”
No one brings you flowers for writing an article that’s maybe not at a Meryl Streep level, but still pretty damn good.
No one claps after you pour your heart out on a page- not your character’s heart but your very own, vulnerable-as-fuck, blood-pumping organ.
Roll your eyes, call me a spoiled, attention-whore, actress cliché (get that out of your system) then hear me out.
Applause and performance go together like Sponge Bob and square pants. No matter how unimpressed you were by a performance, you still put your hands together at the end of it. Right? It’s a cultural norm.
I’ve been in several horrible off-off Broadway plays. Believe me. You know what? People still clapped after them! No one ever said, “Fuck you for making me spend $20 on a ticket AND spend 2 whole hours watching that crap!” Honestly, there was one show that was so bad I wouldn’t blame them if they said that. But instead they smiled and said, “You were great!”
Performing arts = applause. Why is there no equivalent for visual or literary arts?
Do other writers and artists feel this? Hm. Or are non-performers thankful for this? Maybe I should try to be thankful for the silence. Think of it as a beautiful absence of bullshit and obligated responses. Silence doesn’t have to be deafening. It’s wide open to interpretation. Is it possible to think of silence as something else besides no one fucking cares?
Maybe I should shut the fuck up for once (not easy for me) and think. I’m a creative person, I can choose to imagine silence differently.
Hugs are silent. Bunnies are silent too! What else is silent? RAINBOWS.
Silence = RAINBOW BUNNY HUGS!
Hello rainbow bright side (pun intended) of silence! It is infinitely better than a stream of rage, those hateful comments so prolific on the internet. Silence = no hate!
Before I start feeling like Jeb Bush (PLEASE
CLAP HELP), does anyone else understand what I’m talking about? How do you bloggers and writers deal with the silence? Lack of applause or obvious encouragement? Does it not bother you?
I want an equivalent to applause when I write. I need to get over that- it’s destructive. Sometimes I think of social media as that equivalent, but that’s also a terrible idea. It’s too easy to fall into the mind fuck: “No one ‘Liked’ my blog post. Cool. None of my friends support me.”
Any advice? Or just rainbow bunny hugs…