City Bitches Go Apple Picking

Starbucks considered it PSL season in mid-August. The smell of the artificial, clawing sweetness has wafted betwixt the two Starbucks on every block in NYC for months. When that smell becomes too overwhelming, what’s a city gal to do?

Go apple picking. Duh.


Grab your boots, assemble your ladies, plop a floppy hat on your head, jump in your preferred car-share and get the fuck outta town.

Hot apple cider and donuts must be consumed immediately upon arrival. This is as non-negotiable as Instagramming is mandatory.

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It will feel strange boarding a public vehicle without swiping a metro card, but you’ll soon feel at home: a hay ride is about as bumpy as the subway.


Some where along the ride (possibly upon taking this photo) you will realize no one else ’round these parts is from NYC. You gals stick out like sore, sky-scraped thumbs.

Embrace it.  DSC02850

Oh sure, the whole farm may be calling you basic city bitches but you, your city cred, and crew don’t give a shit.


How do ya like them apples?


I’ll tell ya how I like them apples! They put any Manhattan fruit cart to shame! Trader Joes looks pale in comparison! But Whole Foods? Nah, fugetaboutit! Even the Union Square Green Market can’t measure up.


This shit is fresh off the branch. The red ones (Cortlands) look fresh out of Snow White.


Wandering the rows of an apple orchard is –dare I say it- even better than wandering the stacks of The Strand.


Warning: you may find yourself overwhelmed by the expansive blue sky and wide open space. So jump in an apple crate! Bring both your roommates and it’ll feel just like your tiny Manhattan apartment!


If you feel weird about skipping Sunday brunch to go apple picking let me assure you: the line to get back on the hay ride is just like the line for pancakes at Clinton Street Bakery! But with a better view!


There are few things I consider dangers of New York City living. I live in Harlem, I frequently walk alone at 1AM, I even walk into oncoming traffic multiple times a day (ya know, jaywalking). Please take my PSA seriously: when you live in a concrete jungle, the danger of missing fall is very real.

New Yorkers walk down the street and never see the changing leaves. We say we should take a walk in Prospect Park but we put it off. With the busy-ness of this back-to-school time of year, it’s easy to blink and scream WHAT? IT’S SNOWING!? WHERE DID TIME GO!?


Don’t let fall pass you by! If you don’t have time to get the hell out of town, take a couple of hours in the city. Check out the Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade next Saturday. Walk through a park on your weekend. Carve a pumpkin. Go ahead, drink a damn pumpkin spice latte. 

What are your favorite ways to enjoy fall?


About New York Cliche

NYC lifestyle blog by Mary Lane. Events, adventures, epic mistakes, dating, life, humor. A 20-something trying to make it (and make out) in the city of dreams.

4 thoughts on “City Bitches Go Apple Picking

  1. I love apple picking! Went twice this year!!!! PSL is always a must and wearing fleece, leggings, boots and cute hats and tromping through leaves in the ramble of Central Park!

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