I Wish I Was A Better Blogger

ONE WISH

I threw a penny in Bethesda Fountain and made a wish.

I wished I was a better blogger.

bethesda-fountain

I held the penny in my hand and imagined waking up at 7AM every morning, fresh and ready to write. Sitting at my desk with fresh coffee in an instagram-worthy mug, my mind uninhibited by doubts. Free and open, creative juices flowing. Inspiration, humor, and wit flow from my fingers like water from the open fire hydrant on the corner of my street in Harlem. Metaphors too, obviously. I’d whip up engaging posts in a mere hour, I’d even proof read!

TWO WISH

I fed a quarter to the ZOLTAR machine at FAO Schwarz.

“Make your wish,” Zoltar commanded.

“I wish I was a better blogger,” I whispered.

zoltar
You remember Zoltar, he’s the guy who made Tom Hanks grow up over night in the movie Big.

I aimed the quarter at Zoltar’s mouth and imagined churning out content like a well oiled blogging machine. Every single day at the same time a new post would appear on newyorkcliche.com. I could see the tweets from readers, “I love that I can count on a new post from you every weekday at 10AM!” “You’re blog is more reliable than re-runs of #SexAndTheCity on @TBS!”

RED WISH

I stared at the candles on my birthday cake two weeks ago. “Make a wish!” my friends chorused.

I closed my eyes and made a wish.

I wish I was a better blogger.

IMG_2437
Couldn’t find a picture from my most recent birthday so one 27 years ago will have to do.

By the light of the 29 candles, I imagined my writing deeply connecting with readers. Long time lurkers would jump out of the wood work, “I’ve never commented before, but now I can’t resist!” I’d reply to every single comment, not just in my head but typed out for all to see. My dream of going viral would come true in the best of ways, sans trolls, sans “ugly blonde bitch” comments, just thousands of people connecting with what I have to say.

BLUE WISH

I picked a dandelion in Corona Park, the one with the fullest head of little, fuzzy seeds.

I took a deep breath in and made a wish. I think you know what I wished for.

Screen Shot 2015-07-30 at 8.40.27 AM

I exhaled and watching the tiny seeds dance on the air I imagined what it would be like if I stopped caring so much. If everything I wrote was for me and it didn’t matter who else read it. If I could see three comments on a post and think, “Yay, 3 comments!” and never, “Aw, only 3 comments.” If looking at my visitor stats made me feel accomplished, “Wow, thousands of people visit my blog every month!” instead of like a failure, “Ugh, no one reads my blog.”

I’ve been feeling that way a lot recently, that no one reads my blog. Why do I spend so much time writing if no one reads? I’ve been doing this seven years and I only have 10,000 visits a month! I suck! So many people have been writing a quarter of that time with much better success. What’s wrong with me? I’ve been doing this for seven years, if I haven’t made it by now… what’s the point? Sure, I love doing it, but not every time. It’s so much work. And it’s not even paying off! What am I doing wrong? 

Oh. Oh shit.

I feel awful and I owe you an apologize. I haven’t been thinking about you and it’s really unforgivable. I’m sorry. You’re clearly not no one. You are very much someone, someone who is reading my blog right this very second. You’re amazing. I’m so thankful for you! What’s wrong with me that I’m failing to focus on how wonderful YOU are, right here, right now, and instead thinking of all these other people who aren’t you?

That’s what’s wrong with me.

Starting now friends, I’m abandoning the focus, “How do I get more people to read my blog??”

There’s a new focus ’round these parts, “How do I better appreciate the thousands of people who do read my blog?” That’s how I’ll be a better, happier blogger.

If you want to help make all my wishes come true, I hope you’ll share your thoughts with me, and maybe even some wishes of your own. 

ThanksMe&Met

About New York Cliche

NYC lifestyle blog by Mary Lane. Events, adventures, epic mistakes, dating, life, humor. A 20-something trying to make it (and make out) in the city of dreams.

20 thoughts on “I Wish I Was A Better Blogger

  1. I wish for happiness for dear friends. May they find passion in their work and play and be bold to know that when it doesn’t feel like anyone cares, they do! I love your blog and you! Thank you for 7 years of fun, laughs, and reflection!

  2. Long time reader, first time commenter. YOU ARE GREAT. Seriously. I admire you and love your writting style. Don’t ever give up!!

    1. So it took me ages to reply to this (never admire my commenting-reply style!) but just so you know, the minute I read it, it made my day. Thank you so much for your first comment and your demand 😉 to never give up!

  3. Try not to listen to that negative voice which tells you that you should be better — 10,000 visits a month? That sounds pretty good to me! 🙂 And while, as bloggers, we’d all love our blogs to be perfect, I believe in quality over quantity. I’m happy with my small circle of blogging pals. But I still wouldn’t mind 10,000 visits a month. 😉
    Grace @ Cultural Life recently posted…Fun with Blogging 201!My Profile

    1. Thank you, Grace 🙂 I’ve taken a step back this month to do just that- clear my head of the negative voice. It’s done a lot of good and I’m excited to re-boot with Back to School energy! Thanks for you long, continued support!

  4. I can relate to this on so many levels. I’m a newbie compared to you (2+ years) but some days I wish that I had more views, or I get confused and envious by people who’ve been doing it for a shorter time, with way less content and quality, with way more success. I can become such a depressing, disheartening and confusing thing.

    I think I came to the same conclusion that you did, that it isn’t about the quantity of views you get so much as the connection and appreciation you get. Anyone can buy website clicks, but having someone love your work (btw, I love your work) is way more meaningful than additional clicks.

    1. It feels good to know I’m not alone in the confused/crummy feelings, especially from someone whose work I admire as well! Your dedication to you blog inspires me, I’m very glad we’ve crossed blogging paths.

  5. Long time lurker here—please don’t despair. During my work breaks, I sneak a peek at your blog to see if you’ve posted a new entry. You fulfill my need to live vicariously in NYC. I love how brave and honest and funny you are. And you give me tons of ideas for things to do the next time I’m in the City! Your blog brightens my day, and I appreciate the time you spend on it very much. Keep at it!

    1. Sherri, thank you SO MUCH! Your comment validates pretty much everything I hope my blog achieves! Brave, honest, funny, and a way to live vicariously in NYC– that is it! Every time I feel like I’m flailing/failing, I’m going to think of you and it will brighten MY day and inspire me to keep writing and sharing. I needed a little blogging summer vacation to clear my head but now I’m excited to get back to regular updates to brighten your day 🙂 😀

  6. Just to be honest here. More that half of page views, maybe even 2/3rd’s, are from google bots and search engine directed from keywords. They are not really human readers.

    A great way to generate traffic and gain followers it to read and comment on many other blogs. All different kinds. Make sure your post links are posted on all social networks. Blogging success is more about networking and staying relevant. Post comments on blogs that allow you to leave a link such as those who use Comment Luv. There are so many tools to use to gain followers. Yes, it is very time consuming but to be a successful blogger these things need to be done if you want to build traffic and readership.

    That being said, keep blogging for yourself and enjoy it. Write about what makes you happy. Just don’t give up.
    Phil recently posted…Conquering Urban Mudder in NYC. The kid does it again!My Profile

  7. I love reading your blog. I will admit that I have been lazy about going through my email, so I forget to read your blog. I will try to do better.

    There is a lesson for me in this blog though. I need to think about others and not just myself, so thank you for that.

    Blessings and Hugs for you

  8. I’m a daily reader, but I’ve been so bad at taking the time to comment. I’ve decided to call this Blogust because it’s the month I’m going to dive back into my blog and actually get myself organized. If I find the magic potion, I’ll let you know. best of luck to you.
    Steph G recently posted…Currently…My Profile

  9. A few years ago, my family and I went to the Jekyll and Hyde Club in NYC, where you have said you worked. There was an actress who claimed to be a psychic and knew everything about where we lived, etc. Did you know anyone who was a psychic while you were there? And how did she know so much about us???

  10. Omg, could totally relate to this! I actually made a point this year to realign my blogging vision, reminding myself of why I was blogging in the first place (cause I love it! to share the nyc love with others!), and completely stopped looking at stats. Now, it’s much different to blog for a passion than a career, so this obviously won’t work for everyone. But I’ve been much happier since!;-)

    and p.s. LOVE your blog!!! xo!
    Jess @UsedYorkCity recently posted…A NYC Summer Brunch CruiseMy Profile

  11. Same here, I’m a long time reader who’s never seen how important comments actually are ^^ You’re actually the only “life”-blog I read, and of all the blogs I tried to read about NYC, you’re the only one that stuck 🙂 ! So continue on and feel whatever you want to feel !!
    So don’t stop pliizz 🙂

  12. Everything you mentioned are things that cross my mind on a weekly basis. I’ve taken classes to become a better writer , photographer, storyteller, social media maven , just so my blog would do the same three things you are wishing for .I can only wish for thousands of page views but all the rest applies.I give it my all and in the end it really is fun for me albeit discouraging when the masses don’t rush the gates. But everyone has their time shine and I think you’re pretty sparkly!
    Trudy recently posted…25 Types of People I See on the SubwayMy Profile

  13. I read your blog!!! Religiously! And not only that, you’re one of my favourite bloggers! I love your get out, explore and live attitude and I love reading about your adventures. I understand you feeling like that though. I haven’t been blogging nearly as long but I feel the same about my blog. My followers has completely stagnated and I look at other people’s followers and think HOW will I ever get there! But then the main reason I love my blog is to document our adventures and I lov the idea of looking back on it in years to come so that’s why I keep going. Chin up girl, people are reading, but most importantly, the people who do read your blog frickin’ love it and you! Nikki x
    Nikki recently posted…Beijing Guide: Winter Fun in BeijingMy Profile

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