I went into my Time Out New York Undateables interview with the objective of producing “good copy”. I wanted the write-up to be fun to read. I didn’t worry about being nice. I didn’t consider the feelings of the person I’d been on a date with. When the interviewer laughed out loud as I described my date’s facial hair, I thought,”Yeah! This is good!”
I was honest about my experience, totally candid in recapping my date. It shows.
If this is too hard to read, click for the online edition.
I totally succeeded with my objective. My write-up is anything but boring! It’s got some funny lines, it’s clearly candid! It might even make you wince, maybe even chuckle!
So why don’t I feel great about it?
I left that date feeling like we were both on the same page: just not that into it. He didn’t ask for my number which I thought made very clear he didn’t want to see me again. Well, according to his published side of this story, that assumption was entirely wrong. Everything he said couldn’t be nicer. He said some really sweet things, complements that should be ego boosters, but now just make me feel bad. If I’d had any idea he’d been at all into me, that would have changed the way I talked about this date.
Why was I so honest? Don’t I know that the only place for honesty and candor- when it comes to first dates- is brunch? Not a city circulated magazine! Why hadn’t I even thought about being nice? What’s wrong with me? Before I’d laughed about the “undateable” title, but now I couldn’t help but wonder…. maybe it’s true! Maybe I really am undateable! Who wants to date a bitch?
I’m not a bitch. I’m just a woman who dislikes scraggly, scruff-gone-wild and isn’t afraid to say it. Who sometimes says the word “aura” because she’s from San Francisco and laughs at herself for it. Who loves a good story. Who believes no one should ever, ever tell a story about recently peeing their pants on a first date. If this article stops ONE PERSON from sharing such a story in a romantic setting, this whole experience was WORTH IT.
But he was a good person. Who probably didn’t deserve all of Time Out New York’s readership knowing he pissed himself on the subway. But why did he tell me?? On a first date especially! On a first date HE KNEW WAS GOING TO BE WRITTEN UP IN A MAGAZINE!! WHY, RONNY, WHY?? I told you I liked storytelling, you knew I was a blogger, how could you possibly expect me to resist sharing an awkward moment of that caliber? I just couldn’t. If that makes me a bitch, well, I have no choice but to accept the moniker.
I’m a story-loving, mean, “crazy-eyed”, “fame chaser”. At least according to some Time Out New York readers on Facebook!
Yep! They didn’t use the b-word though! And they read my blog! Thanks guys! Bye guys!
I wanted to be in Time Out New York for the experience, for the story, and for insight from the guy’s perspective, on what it’s like to date me. Did I get what I wanted? Maybe? But am I really that great on a date? Bubbly and “more fun than most people”, a “generally pretty lady”? Or was my date being overly nice while I was being overly honest?
I’ll never know.
Unless I tweet at him…but that’s probably not the best idea…
If I’m perfectly honest (my downfall and my charm), I wanted to be in Time Out New York Undateables in part for the blog exposure. My “Why She’s Single” makes that blatantly, shamelessly obvious. Truly, I can not imaging putting myself through this kind of thing if I didn’t have some self-promotion motive. Would I do it again? FUCK NO. Am I glad I did it? Yes.
Would I recommend you do it? No. But if you think it sounds like fun, or have similar self-promotion motives, email firstname.lastname@example.org and they will hook you up!
I’d love to hear what you think of this whole experience! Do you think I was too candid? Was I stupid for not being nicer? Is it shameless to do this sort of thing because it’s fun for my blog? Do you agree with the commenters on Time Out’s Facebook page? I’d really love to hear anything you have to say, there’s so much to talk about with this! I hope you’ll leave a comment or join in discussion that’s already started on Facebook and Twitter!