New York Cliché of the Day: Dollar Slice Pizza (Even Santa’s Into It!)

New York Dollar Slice Pizza is a modern anomaly and an institution. A subway ride costs $2.75, you can’t find an apartment for less than 1K, and even the candy at news stands has been hiked up to $1.25. But you can still get a slice of NYC’s signature cuisine for a buck. It’s a beautiful thing.

If you’ve NEVER had dollar slice pizza and call yourself a New Yorker…is it fair to assume you have celiac disease?

Whether it’s your caving to drunken 4 AM craving or the main source of sustenance when your flat broke, most New Yorkers have some dollar slices in their past. An easy comparison to that greasy guy you know you shouldn’t sleep with…again. But it’s cold and….you just want something hot in your mouth. You’re drunk, he’s right around the corner, and his neon sign/text message just keeps flashing “99 cents”. You’ll regret it in the morning, but in the moment it all seems worth it. Read More

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New York Cliché of the Day: Child Snot Machines or Christmas Magic?

If you’re not around children often in New York City, you might find yourself thinking of young people as squirming, snot machines who make the MTA even more unbearable. Noise pollution that ruins your matinee-priced ticket for Star Wars. 6-figure investments who haven’t even hit puberty and have a nicer cell phone and greater net-worth than you can ever dream of!

Then you see a kid staring at a holiday window outside Lord and Taylor.

He’s wearing a Minion Hat, his mouth agape in awe. Suddenly you’re flooded with memories of what Christmas was like when you were 7 years old. When magic was at its peak. It makes you smile. For a long time. Walking down 5th Avenue, you’re still smiling, Through the subway turn styles, you still remember that look on his face. Sitting on the train and a toddler coughs all over your personal space and instead of glaring at the little snot machine, you smile instead.

A moment of New York Christmas magic.

[Replay Cliché] This Is Why No One Visits The Rockefeller Christmas Tree Alone

[Originally posted December 2016…I only visited the tree in its preparation state this year!]

You know how the song goes:

“City sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style…”

This song is a lie!  Utter bullshit!! Propaganda!!! Everyone in the city this time of year knows the truthful lyrics should be:

“City sidewalks, INSANE CRAZY CROWDED CLAUSTROPHOBIC NIGHTMARE sidewalks”

city-sidewalks
It’s this crowded on a Wednesday at 4PM.

In the New York City frigid air, there certainly is a feeling of Christmas. It’s a magical time of year in the concrete jungle and everyone wants to get in on the festive cheer. Go anywhere near 5th Avenue let alone Rockefeller Center this weekend and crowds are likely to be so thick you’ll feel like you’re part of the mosh pit at a Blink 182 concert. Read More

New York Cliché of the Day: The Largest Christmas Tree In Brooklyn

It’s December 2017 and there is a huge divide in our country…

Between people who like colored twinkle lights  and those who prefer white twinkle lights.

*Lalalalalala let’s avoid political shit show for a couple moments and enjoy a show of frivolous holiday magic!*

WHAT SIDE DO YOU FALL ON??

We all know the iconic Rockefeller Christmas tree skews COLOR, with 50,000 (according to Wikipedia) red, green, blue, orange, and white lights circling its massive branches. It’s more than enough to make the eyes of a Christmas lights traditionalist twitch.

So what are those with white twinkle preferences to do? Feel like there’s something…tiki torchy about their disdain in diverse LEDs? Give up on the classic, brightest bulbs?

If you’re dreaming of a White Christmas, it’s okay! Just steer clear of Rockefeller Center and come to Brooklyn where the biggest tree in town is white twinkle top to trunk!

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