A Former Usher’s Tips for Getting Shakespeare in the Park Tickets

Shakespeare in the Park is one of the things I look forward to most about NYC summers. The Public Theater, one of the most reputable companies in NY, offers FREE world class theater every year in Central Park. Yes, I did say FREE. You just have to wait in line for tickets. They are distributed on a first-come-first-serve basis at 12PM for the evening performance.

shakespeareline — The infamous line for Shakespeare in the Park tickets

This ticket distribution is notorious. Many New Yorkers who might attend a play otherwise, are deterred by the reputation of the line. Many believe you must camp out in line in order to get tickets, getting to Central Park before dawn. This myth is partially based on truth. The Public’s productions often headline stars- most recently Al Pachino in Merchant of Venice and Anne Hathaway in Twelfth Night. With an A-list star and killer reviews, camping out will become the reality. But don’t despair! It is easy to get tickets if you know how to do it. My first job in New York was working as an usher at the Delacorte Theater, the performance space of Shakespeare in the Park. Here are my tips for getting tickets:

See a preview. After a show opens (and usually gets good reviews) it’s on many more to-do lists. If you can go to the show before it gets reviewed (that’s what a “preview” is) you may not have to wait in line at all. Often for the first week-day performances you can literally walk up at 1PM or even 8PM and get tickets. No waiting at all. If you can only go on weekends, previews are your easiest bet.
Go on a weeknight! If your work schedule allows it, see a Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday night show. Weekends are much harder to get tickets for.
Try the virtual line! Now in it’s 3rd year (I believe) there is now have a virtual line! The solution for 9-5ers and any one who can’t be in Central Park at 12PM on a weekday. To enter this way, visit the website in the morning, sign up, enter for that day’s show, cross your fingers, and the check back after 12PM. Get your friends to enter for you. I’ve had good luck with this!
Don’t be afraid of the stand-by line! Another great way to score tickets if the 1PM time is impossible for you is the stand-by line. Pack a picnic, bring a thermos of your after-work beverage of choice, and multi-task. You’re enjoying a fabulous picnic in the park AND waiting for tickets at the same time! Unless the show is Al-Pachino-popular, you should be fine getting in this line after work- around 5:30/6.
Questionable weather can be your ticket in. They do everything possible to avoid a rained out show. There may be a rain shower moments before the show, but unless there is thunder and lightning, the show is likely to still go on. If it’s a popular show, this can really help you out because loads of people with tickets will not show up. Even if you show up at 8PM, it’s likely you’ll get in! Just bring a poncho because they don’t allow umbrellas up in the theater. I once had to tell Mary Louise Parker to put her’s down!

dawnline — Last summer I was out of town during previews of “Into the Woods” featuring a-lister Amy Adams. Unable to follow most of my rules (although I did go on a weekday!) Charlotte and I showed up at 5AM to wait for tickets! With a friend and a thermos of coffee, the line can actually be fun.

2013 features two comedies. The Comedy of Errors runs May 28- June 30. I’m seeing the May 29th preview and I can’t wait! Director Daniel Sullivan has delivered the Public’s most recent knock-out performances including the aforementioned Twelfth Night and Merchant of Venice. I have no doubt it’s going to be a great show. Both Sullivan and The Public are known for making Shakespeare accessible and with a run-time of only 90 mins, there is all the more reason everyone should see this show.

Love’s Labour’s Lost: A New Musical is the second show of the season running July 23-August 18. A new musical adaptation of one of Shakespeare’s first plays, my expectations are high for this production as well. I don’t know exactly what to expect, but coming from the creators of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson I have no doubt it’ll be awesome. Again with a run-time of 90 mins, I’m calling this now as one of the must-see shows of the summer. Heed my advice and see it during previews!

So mark your calendars now, previews start in 10 days! Remember you can bring refreshments into the Delacorte seats- even alcohol as long as it’s not in a glass bottle. Get ready for a summer of fantastic FREE theater! If you don’t live in NYC, plan a visit! Okay, of course that’s not always possible. Please look into what summer theatre your town has to offer- I’m willing to bet you’ll find something.

Starting the Summer Single? Create a Match.com Summer Singles Event and Win!

Show me someone who is single in New York City and hasn’t tried, or at the very least considered, online dating. Since I moved here 5 years ago, this method of meeting people has evolved from stigmatized to the norm. At this point, even my mother- a woman who doesn’t own a cell phone, never watches television, and thus claims truly impressive pop-culture ignorance- has heard of Match.com. When my luddite mother has heard of something, it reaches a new status, one beyond “house-hold name”.

Just celebrating its one-year status, Stir Events by Match.com needs to achieve this same status. Singles of America, you need to know about this fantastic service Match.com now provides to all members! What the hell am I talking about? Stir is Match.com’s answer to offline singles events, offering a wide range of activities to Match.com members around the country ranging from large-scale happy hours at popular venues, to more intimate events like tequila tastings and DJ lessons.

Now, I did not meet my boyfriend through online dating. I met him in a way that could not be farther from New York cliché- at a renaissance faire. Yes, I’m serious. Before we met, I tried online dating on and off for nearly four years with very limited success. I always enjoyed the dates I went on, in fact some of my favorite New York hotspots were introduced to me by eligible online bachelors. The men were always nice enough, and more often than not interesting and reasonably successful. But I never found anyone I really clicked with; never in the way I clicked with people I met offline.

Part of that is due to chemistry- that intangible element that is impossible to measure until your face to face. That’s probably the #1 reservation people have about online dating. The other problem I had was more unique to me as the author of this blog. I have spent years cultivating my writing voice and there’s little I love more than a compliment regarding “my voice”. I’m perfectly pleased with how far it’s come and how engrained it now is. The only place this was ever a problem? My online dating profile.

Any other writers experience this problem? I found it impossible to write a profile that wasn’t with my writing voice! “My voice” is me, there is no doubt about that. Still, representing myself through the written word found me attracting different types than my in-person, speaking-self would. I found it paradoxical- a problem I didn’t know how to solve. And no longer have to after finally meeting a great man. It only took four-freaking-years.

If you want to find someone sooner and have a similar difficulty with written representation, Match.com’s Stir is the perfect answer. In just one year…Match has hosted 2,850 events – that’s 14 events each day! Over 225,000 singles have attended a Stir event to date! Match is throwing these events in over 80 cities across America – including events in Anchorage and Honolulu. The biggest event to date was (no surprise) in NYC: Wine tasting and cooking at The DL on the LES. Could you dream of a better singles event?

Well, here’s hoping you can because in celebration of the Stir anniversary, Match.com is offering the opportunity for singles to create their own Stir event! If your event is chosen, you’ll work with Match Stir event planners to bring it to life! The selected winner will have their idea re-created by the Match.com Stir Events team in their city, and will receive an invitation to attend the event along with ten of their singles friends – all at no charge! In addition, the winner will also receive a free six-month Match.com subscription.

Visit Match.com’s “What Stirs You?” Contest Page at http://promotion.binkd.com/Enter.aspx?id=8793 , now through Tuesday May 28^th, 2013 and tell Match.com what you think would make for the perfect singles event to be entered to win. Entries will be judged based on quality, creativity, uniqueness and geographical relevance.

You know me, I am the #1 fan of free stuff. I’m thiiiiis close to breaking up with my boyfriend just so I can participate. My event would involve kayaking on the Hudson, learning to make and sampling frozen hot chocolate. Okay, okay, I’m kidding. I’m not going to dump my brand-new boyfriend, even if he means missing out on this opportunity. Readers, please enter so I can live vicariously through you! Remember, this is open to anyone in the US, not just New York singles!

This post was sponsored in part by Match.com.

May 8, 2013May 26, 2016

Anthropomorphizing: A Trip to the Bronx Zoo

‘Tis the season for romantic park strolls, for candle lit dinners at sidewalk cafés, for sharing ice cream cones and holding hands. Love is in the air, it’s everywhere. Even at the Bronx Zoo.

One glorious spring morning I found myself in the Bronx with one free ticket for the zoo! Thinking only, “Awesome! I get see some animals and pay nothing!” I set off to explore the 265 acres of the Bronx Zoo. It soon became clear I was an anomaly, stranger than an albino alligator. No one goes to the zoo alone! I was surrounded by couples and families. Even those of the animal kingdom were paired up. I have a boyfriend now, I thought that meant my days of being the only single at a party were over! Really, I should’ve known better- especially at a zoo in the throes of spring time. Oh well, I felt a bit like a freak, but there were so many distractions to keep me from feeling lonely. Like lions!

A celebrity couple, the king and queen of the zoo. At first glance, they kept to themselves under a tree. Suddenly, they became aware of the crowd watching them and ran towards us. For a moment I felt the feeling of being approached by a powerful predator. It was exhilarating, even with the score of safety measures in place.

A goat fight! When I came home from the zoo, my roommate asked me what my favorite exhibit was. I said, “The goats.” She looked at me like I was nuts. These fellas really put on a show for us. Clearing a display of masculine strength, trying to win the attentions of the nearby lady goat.

bronx zoo goats 2 — I realize the horns on that nearby goat likely indicate “she” is in fact a “he”.
Whatever. I like my story so let’s pretend all goats have horns.

She played hard to get, keeping her back to them the whole time. Only the turtles and a large crowd of humans appreciated their efforts.

Peacocks! The Bronx Zoo, like many (all?) zoos, gives peacocks free reign to wander. It’s wonderful, especially to a New York inhabitant. Normally, the only birds we get close to are pigeons. Such close contact to a pigeon creates a feeling of disgust, the reverse is true with a peacock. Nothing short of awesome.

While the male peacocks have admirers where ever they go, with pointing fingers and flashing cameras, the female peahens are usually ignored. Not this one, she clearly has a secret admirer.

I’m sorry, Robin, but she’s out of your league!

Having no one to talk to, I started making up stories, even staging plays and casting the animals exhibited…I nearly clapped with delight when I saw the tale of Romeo and Juliet unfold before my very eyes (and camera lens). I wonder if the zoo keepers put the giraffes and ostriches in the same area hoping a Shakespearian drama would unfold.

The giraffes are the Capulets, the Ostriches are the Montagues. You think I’m just projecting this onto two different species? You think I’m a crazed theatre nerd who got so bored wandering around the zoo by herself she started making up stories? Maybe. But I saw it with my own eyes!

These two are in love! Their families don’t approve! Someone is going to die in the third act!

O+G2 — To those familiar with the play, tell me this isn’t the scene where Mercutio harasses the nurse!

Okay, enough with the dramatics. The seal lions are just trying to get their friend, who was recently dumped, to stop moping and come out for a swim.

The tigers are that homebody couple who never goes out or does anything fun anymore, even though they’re super attractive.

And here I am with the flamingos! These pinkies aren’t all coupled up! These birds stay far way from the edge. Alas, I couldn’t catch them in all their flaming glory but you can still sorta see them.

flamingos bronx zoo — My job uniform required khaki pants. Which are absurd to wear in dirty NYC. Just had to clarify.

Needless to say, I had a blast at the zoo. Even by myself! I highly recommend it whether alone, with friends, or on a date!

When was the last time you were at a zoo? Ever make up stories about the animals?

May 6, 2013May 26, 2016

Other NYCs: The Successful Transplant

Every time I leave my apartment, I realize the chance of running into someone I know. It is a New York City phenomenon, one that is hard to believe until you experience it. “It’s a small world” goes the cliché and no where is this more true than on the island of Manhattan.

One of my favorite people to bump into is my friend Isaac. Not knowing him, bumping into Isaac would cause me to flinch, perhaps even cower, and apologize profusely. He can easily look like a man who’d punch someone in the face for jostling him on the sidewalk. Isaac’s career is based on the fact he looks intimidating, unabashedly masculine. God-given talent and experience allow him to slip into “bad boy” even “villain” roles with utter believability. Having met off stage, I know the thoughtful, charming side of him as well.

We run into each other with some frequency and the smile on my face is genuine whenever we do. How could it not be? Isaac is one of those rare people in show business: remarkably talented with the drive to match but carries no ego about it. He’s one of those rare New Yorkers: when he asks “How are you”, you believe he really cares. Featured in film and many stages (including that of the Metropolitan Opera), now featured here as part of my Other New York clichés series!

Name/prefered pseudonym: Isaac Scranton

Borough and neighborhood: Washington Heights, Manhattan

How are you a New York cliché? I try not to think of myself as such, but I suppose I am. I’m a struggling actor/director with a day-job doing the constant juggling act that is trying to make the dream come true while still being able to keep a roof over my head, food in my belly and the bills paid. I appreciate both high and low culture, I tend to avoid the American mainstream and haven’t gone to a chain restaurant for a sit-down meal in ages. I definitely see how NYC is its own city-state and definitely NOT a part of the larger conceptual “Amurca”. Short of winning the lottery and being able to move to London or Monaco, I can’t see myself really living anywhere else!

They say no one who lives in New York is actually from New York. Where are you from? Originally from Albany, so still a New Yorker in terms of the State. Been here for 10 years this June, so my native friends tell me I’ll finally be able to consider myself a “real” one and a successful transplant.

isaac3 — Isaac playing the opposite of a rebel. Gracie Mansion is safe with this character.

Bloomberg is banishing you from NYC. You have 24 hours before you have to pack up and leave for ever. How do you spend them? The revolutionary in me says, “Bomb Gracie Mansion”, but honestly, I’d probably spend it walking through Central Park, visiting my favorite haunts and — being a relatively reformed raver — going to one last all-out-major party.

What restaurant/bar you keep going back to, even though you’ve been meaning to try a dozen others? Benito One in Little Italy. It’s a gorgeous little authentic Italian place that I started going to in college when I was commuting down here in preparation for graduation. I knew their old owners by name and have gotten to know the new ones in the same way. It’s the type of place where the food is always good, the ambiance is great for dates or just a nice dinner out with friends/family and where, 40 years ago, it wouldn’t have been that wild a possibility to see some mafia guy gunned down by Al Pacino. I’ve been going there for over 10 years now and I’ll likely keep going there until they tear down the building.

Favorite pizza place: When I lived in Sunnyside — where I lived for 5 intense years — there was a little place called Mediterraneo that still has the best pizza I’ve ever tasted. I particularly recommend their baked ziti slices. Always fresh, always friendly and the best pizza for the relatively low price!

So you live in NYC, but what’s one super-touristy thing you secretly love? Tough choices. I have to say I have a special place in my heart for the Metropolitan Museum. My first apartment on E 92nd Street was only a few short blocks away and it was not uncommon for me to walk down there and just hang out in “Arms & Armory” all day. I’d also have to admit that I absolutely adore the Staten Island Ferry Ride on a nice summer’s day. It’s free and gives you an exquisite view of Lady Liberty and the Manhattan Skyline.

Ever had a run-in with a celebrity (A-D List)? Several. During my time with the Living Theatre, I was privileged to hang with the likes of Forrest Whitaker and Judith Malina and got to laugh at one of my cast-mates as Kevin Spacey tried to pick him up (my cast-mate, ever a man of principle, declined, since he’s not a star-fucker). While working for Powerhouse Theatre, I spent many nights as a technical assistant for the former members of The Band and their collaborator Cyndi Lauper and got to hear a lot of first-hand tales of “the old days”. In my first job, as an Art Department intern for Merchant Ivory, I also got to frequently interact with the likes of Elizabeth Banks, James Marsden, Glenn Close and George Segal. Finally, upon winning my OBIE Award for my work with the Living Theatre’s “The Brig”, I was warmly embraced by the great Angela Lansbury, our presenter.

Isaac Scranton actor — See what I mean? How perfect is he for these roles?

You totally saw something weird on the subway or street today (you may not have registered it was weird because you are jaded), what did you see? With beggars, loonies, performers and preachers a regular thing on the subways, I can’t say specifically say what was the “weirdest”. I do recall a roving rave one summer that started out on the Brooklyn Bridge and ended at Coney Island. 3000 people ended up taking over the F train and turning it into a great party with singing, live music and…well…;-)

What is your favorite fictionalized New York? How does it compare with reality? NYC figures so largely in so many films and novels, from Batman to Dark City that it’s a tough call. The wonderful thing about this city is that the reality both encompasses and surpasses every fictionalized account.

isaac2 — Though I’ve only met her briefly, Isaac and his girlfriend would totally win my vote for “Cutest Couple” if NYC was a high school yearbook.

Plug something! Be it something you are involved in, your significant other/roommate/cat is involved in, or just something you think is extra-special going on in NYC
In addition to having a new website up and running, I’m currently performing in the audience-interactive Murder Mystery, Lombardi Case 1975, playing a crooked cop in the dangerous world of NYC’s Lower East Side in the 1970’s. My girlfriend, Alexandra Cohen Spiegler will be performing this weekend and next in Southampton in Tina Andrew’s original production, Buckingham.

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Thank you Isaac, for being for being part of my Other New York clichés feature! I look forward to the next time we (inevitably) bump into each other. Maybe we can even make it happen on purpose!

Who have you ran into on the streets of NYC? What do you think of this series? Love it so much you want featured? Fabulous! Email NewYorkCliche@yahoo.com.

May 2, 2013May 26, 2016

Remember That Time I Moved To New York?

At the end of the month, I will celebrate five years of living in New York City. Five years! I’ve lasted five years! That’s half a decade! Perhaps I will scream these words from the top of the Empire State Building on May 27th. Such an accomplishment demands celebration and perhaps I should make the most of this anniversary. A harbor cruise, ice cream at Serendipity, followed by screaming like a lunatic off New York’s most iconic building. What better way to commemorate 5 years in the Big Apple?

Recently, events in my (love) life have lead me back to the neighborhood I lived in when I first moved to New York. I can’t help but reflect while riding the train that I took so many times my first year in the city. This, combined with the substantial anniversary, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how far I’ve come since moving here. When Jody, the author of one of my new favorite blogs New York Notebook, approached me to write a guest post about moving to NYC, I jumped at the chance.

“Welcome to New York”.

These words were printed on the green and white sign that hung over the highway, two blocks from my apartment. They taunted me everyday the first year I lived in New York. I was so close to the city, and yet so far. According to my mailing address, I lived in Yonkers, a maddening half block from the Bronx. But I didn’t live in Yonkers those first 15 months. I slept in Yonkers (usually…), I did laundry in Yonkers. The only place I lived was New York City. Click here to read the rest of the post!

Writing this blog, essentially a chronicle of the five years, is such a wonderful way to reflect and look back. In this spirit, I’ve compiled all my archives- over 200 posts. Want to see for yourself just how far I’ve come since 2008? Click the links on the side bar. It couldn’t be easier.

Thank for reading, whether you’ve been with me 5 years (anyone?) or 5 days!

April 30, 2013April 6, 2015

Bikini Season Comes Early: Out In Public In a Bra

Bikini season is just around the corner. Says every women’s magazine currently in distribution- 5 Essential Pieces of Hot Bikini Body Wisdom, The No-Diet Bikini Secret, The Best Swimsuit for Your Body Shape!
When you compare the amount of time these magazines demand you devote to getting “bikini ready” to time you’ll actually wear said bikini, the ratio is abysmally similar to the male to female ratio at a motorcycle convention.

Men's magazines, like Maxim here, feature swimsuit season hype as well. — Men’s magazines, like Maxim here, feature swimsuit season hype as well.

It’s enough to make a lady gather every women’s magazine in circulation and air lift them to a secluded beach. As the periodicals are dumped into a huge pit, we’ll sprinkle lighter fluid on the smiling faces of the cover models. With a sparkler in one hand and a chocolate eclair in the other, we’ll scream with glee as we light the blaze. Late into the night as the fire rages, we’ll dance around the pire to a playlist of Madonna and Alanis Morissette. We’ll drink margaritas and toast to never baring our bellies in public again!

A girl can dream. The reality is swimsuit season arrived early this year for me. Last week I accepted a job promoting a new walk for breast cancer. “How wonderful to work for such a fantastic cause!” I thought, “Sounds like an amazing event!” Then they told me that the uniform: black athletic pants and elaborately decorated bra. The team would all be wearing bras on the streets of New York City. It doesn’t get more belly blaring than that.

As a woman who has dedicated entire essays to the fact that she is a size four and the claim that she is pretty, it might come as a surprise that I feel self-conscious in a bikini on the beach. I rarely walk around my apartment in my bra, could I actually walk around New York so exposed? I would honestly much rather wear a one piece, but for the past few summers I’ve tried to rock a bikini because I feel I owe it to my 46 year-old self. In my mind we have this conversation:

40-year-old me: Why don’t you want to wear a bikini, missy? Your twenties are the time for exposing skin!
26-year-old me: Oh, but my stomach is ghostly pale! It wouldn’t be so bad if my whole body was pale, but my belly is always three shades paler than my extremities! I look like a penguin!
40-year-old me: How dare you! You do not look like a penguin and you know it! Do you realize how thin you are? No one cares about your pale stomach! A pale belly makes you look smart- it says you don’t want skin cancer and think spray tanning is dumb!
26-year-old me: It’s not just my penguin coloring. My lack of muscle tone, easily hidden by clothes, becomes grossly apparent when on display in a bikini! Why show that off?
40-year-old me: Shut up. You have a great body, you stupid, naive child. I’d kill for your body! Don’t give me that face, no one notices those bacne scars but you! You think those perky things on your chest are too small? Don’t even talk to me. You go to your room this instant, young lady, and you put on a bikini. While you still can! You owe me!

That is how I see myself in 2026 looking back at me now at 26. So I bought a bikini, and I’ve worn it a couple times. But I never felt comfortable, even though I know I should, and often changed back into my trusty one piece.

Out on the streets on NYC, there was no one-piece option. I was in a bra decorated with red, white, and blue fabric flowers. The weather was in the mid-sixties, so I felt justified leaving my jacket on. Everyone else on the team was wearing theirs too. We walked around Bryant Park all afternoon handing out flyers, creating catch phrases like, Support breasts, fight cancer!

The public response was overwhelmingly positive. A group of teenagers even told me they liked my outfit. I know crop-tops are trendy right now, but I have to wonder it they actually thought I was wearing it for style! Not once, even in midtown Manhattan did I receive a look that said, “Girl, you need to put a shirt on.” I was shocked.

By the end of the week when the temperatures rose to the high 6os, I felt confident enough to just wear the bra, this time a mermaid themed one, complete with clam shells. Of course it helped being with the team of bra-clad ladies. And one lovely gentleman! Men can support breast cancer awareness too!

Here's the team in Brooklyn, wearing our bras, with downtown Manhattan in the background! — Here’s the team in Brooklyn, wearing our bras, with downtown Manhattan in the background!

After baring it on the streets of America’s greatest metropolis, I now have no qualms over saying to my 40 year-old self, “You’re right! I do have a great body!” It’s a pretty fabulous feeling. There are two directions to go from here. This summer, I can rock a bikini with my new found uber-confidence. Or….I can say, “Hey 40-year-old self, remember that time I wore a bra out in NYC? After that, I owe you nothing.” I’ll hit the beach in a (stylish of course, I’m thinking a vintage-look halter) one-piece and never for one second think, “Jeez, I wish I had the body for a bikini!” Because I do, dammit, I just might not choose to flaunt it!

What are your thoughts on bikini season? What did it take for you to feel comfortable in your bikini, or do you proudly wear a one-piece? And, I gotta ask- Do you think I’m crazy for working this job?

Notes about posts: Recently, I was informed by several friends that they found the commenting system here daunting. Which made me sad. It’s actually really easy! You don’t have to have a blog, or even leave your email. Just type the comment, type your name, and click “post”! Too easy!

Another thing you may not know- you can subscribe to my blog. If you do so, posts will be emailed directly to you inbox. This means you’ll never miss a post, smart phone reading becomes super easy, AND it also makes me look better to companies- who have begun to express interests in various partnerships with New York Cliche- exciting! Just go to the Never Miss a Word I Say box on the top right, type your email in, and click “Yes, Please!” Thank you so much to everyone for the support and for reading! xo, NYC

April 23, 2013May 26, 2016

I Have a Boyfriend: Cue Freak Out

I have a boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend.

I have a boyfriend.

Nope, no matter how I say it, it feels weird. I don’t know how to have a boyfriend. I have been single for so long it became part of my identity. With that suddenly gone, there’s a bit of a re-evaluation of who I am. I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. These are things I never considered in my search for love.

Is my boyfriend going to hold my hand and hail cabs for me from now on?

From where I sit today, I am someone’s girlfriend. I better figure out who that girlfriend is.

She is someone who had an imagine of her future love imprinted in her head for years. “I’m waiting for the man of my dreams.” This was a truth she never spoke aloud, afraid to utter words so grossly cliché. Like so many women, she disregarded scores of men with, “they aren’t my type”. The ones she gave a chance, sometimes for several months, were all “her type”. So why weren’t they worth her time? After four years of dating in New York with no serious relationships, she was becoming increasingly aware of a glaring fact: “I pick the wrong men.”

Then one summer, a man came along. He certainly wasn’t her “type”, yet there was something about him. His eyes sparkled and his smile was sincere. One night in late August they danced like no one was watching until humidity got the better of them. Then they spent hours staring at the stars. There was something about the way he looked at her. She felt beautiful in his eyes, in a way she never had before.

She had rules. #1: No dating boys born in the 90s. He missed this cut-off by two months. #2: No newbies. He had just moved to NYC, just graduated college. This was obvious from first glance. His long brown hair reached far down his back. He wore tye-die shirts that made her nostrils flare with judgement. All the shorts he owned were too big on him, sometimes he even wore a kilt. A tattoo inked on each tricep and two small hoops pierced into each earlobe. This wasn’t the person she saw herself with.

He was persistent, she couldn’t help herself. She enjoyed every minute they spent together, their conversations burrowing farther and farther below the surface. His constant kindness started slowly eroding her preconceptions. He had so much that so many before had lacked. He was passionate, had a better handle on his career than many 30 year olds, and carried a fierce sense of loyalty. She had always thought herself “chill” and “go-with-the-flow” by nature, but next to him she seemed next to neurotic.

She had never considered herself a shallow person, but now the thought plagued her constantly. Here was a man who genuinely cared about her, who cared if he looked like a hippy cliché? She was all about clichés, wasn’t she? She shuddered one night when he showed up for a date wearing a “drug rug hoodie”. “It’s comfortable!” he claimed. “It’s hideous,” she replied, praying they wouldn’t run into anyone she knew. Many New York women have ended budding relationships over smaller offenses. It could have been the deal breaker. Would have been the deal breaker had it not been for a truth that was becoming clearer every day. She liked him. She might hate his clothes but she certainly didn’t hate the person wearing them.

Hippie_barney — You could get away with it in college, but here in NYC no one who wears a “drug rug” gets laid. No one. Not even Barney Stinson.

It took four months for her to finally call him her boyfriend. He had made it known that he wanted her to be his girlfriend in half that time. She couldn’t do it, not ready to let go of her single self, her life alone. A life she had struggled to be content with and become quite fond of. She was honest. She made up imaginary boyfriends instead of committing to a real one. He was patient and understanding, content to wait as she fretted over misgivings.

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I am someone’s girlfriend. I have a boyfriend who is worth my time. It’s already the longest relationship I’ve ever had- we’ve been dating since December. Maybe since September, if you count our first this-might-be-a-date as a date. He’s never had a relationship last less than a year. I keep thinking it’s going to end, because they always have before, and even catch myself in moments of self-sabotage. At least I know I’m doing it? I know I’m scared. But I also know I deserve something good, something real, something wonderful. Maybe this is it. Finally. Which is terrifying and terrifically exciting all at once. Two feelings I’m not used to feeling. I’m out of my comfort zone- I’m someone’s girlfriend. It’s a learning process. Here’s to seeing just what kind of girlfriend I’ll be.

Have you ever been single for so long it felt strange when you became attached? Or the other way around, which is no doubt more difficult and painful, coupled so long you had to learn what it was like to be single? I’d love to hear your experience. It may help me as I embark on mine! I need reassurance I’m not the only one who’s had difficulty with the transition. I always thought it would be easy- how silly that seems now!