So your friend invited you to his show in Greenpoint/Williamsburg/Bushwick. You liked his band’s page on Facebook, you even downloaded one of their songs on iTunes, but you’ve strategically avoided actually showing up at any of his live shows. Now it’s the sloggy part of winter, you made the mistake of bitching on social media about your lack of plans, and he has finally guilted you into attending his next show at Shea Stadium/Union Pool/Pete’s Candy Store.
Here’s the good news: just because the cover art for his demo CD is awful doesn’t mean his music will be. You can find sweet music playing any night of the week, all over Brooklyn. Rad new music pops up all the time, who knows, your friend could be tomorrow’s New Music Tuesday feature on Brokelyn.
The bad news: his band might be every bit as cliché as they look in their Bandcamp cover pic.
If they are the opening band of the night, you may very well be one of only six people in the audience. The music does nothing for you but create a ringing in your ears. You can’t understand a single one of the lyrics. The band’s front man has the stage presence of an accountant from Ohio.
You’re standing in the back room of a bar feeling mad awkward. Every fiber of your being wants to leave, flee to the L train and pretend this never happened. But you’re not an asshole, you’ve come this far. You’re going to stick it out and support your friend damn it!
Never fear, New York Cliché is here to save your night and make it a whole lot more fun! When you find yourself in the above predicament, I’ve got just the game for you!
The New York Cliché Brooklyn Music Scene Scavenger Hunt!
Hipster fun for your whole #squad!
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Flannel Shirt: 1/2 point
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Chuck Taylors: 1/2 a point for every pair
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Doc Martins in any color besides black: 2 points
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Ironic T-shirt: 1 point
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Band T-shirt: 1 point
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Band T-shirt of a band that was popular way before the wearer was born: 5 points
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Dude who looks just like the guy who played drums in your high school band: 5 points
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Man bun: 1/2 point
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Crop top: 1/2 point
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Unflattering facial hair: 1/2 point
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Nose piercing: 1/2 point on a lady nose, 20 points on a bro-nose (brose?)
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Girl who has an uncanny resemblance to a main character of HBO’s Girls: 4 points (DOUBLE POINTS if you find all four!)
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Tambourine: 2 points
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Banjo: 3 points
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Ukulele: 2 points (TRIPLE POINTS if played by a dude!)
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Head bopper: 1 point
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Person dancing like no one is watching: 3 points
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Person who tries to start a mosh pit and gets shut down: 6 points (TRIPLE POINTS if attempted by a dudette!
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Person drinking the cheapest can of beer available at the bar: 1/2 point
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Musician whose facial expressions imply he is in a constant state of orgasm through every song: 10 (1-OH!) points
WARNING #1: Playing this scavenger hunt as a drinking game will likely end in alcohol poisoning and/or death. MODIFY AT YOUR OWN RISK. That said, drinking will make a shitty music experience a whole lot more fun!
WARNING #2: Be careful who you share this game with. The cliché Hipster takes themselves very seriously and may find absolutely no humor in this game. A pity, but all the more reason to play, I say!
Perfect, spot on! So how drunk did you get at the end of the night?
Trudy recently posted…3 Day Quote Challenge
Not so drunk I couldn’t figure out how to subway out of Brooklyn! Impressive, right 😉