Yesterday thousands of runners braved cold temperatures, high winds, 26.2 miles, to cross the finish line of the New York City Marathon. Today you see many of them walking (or in some cases limping) around midtown, proudly wearing their medals. For the millions of New Yorkers who did not run the marathon, today we may find ourselves so inspired we entertain the thought, “Maybe I should do it next year!”

My list of pros and cons:

Pro #1: The NY Marathon runs through all 5 boroughs. You get to see the whole city in one race!

Con #1: It starts in Staten Island. No Manhattan snob dweller ever signs up to go to Staten Island! Especially at the ass-crack of dawn! Yuck!

Pro #2: The feeling of camaraderie with fellow runners. You’re all in this together, you’re all working for the same goal!

Con #2: It is not common to loose bowel/bladder control while running a marathon. You better feel comfortable running in this crowd because that is the only way you will keep going (and not die of embarrassment) after shitting your pants in public.

Pro #3: The discipline of training, running every day in order to reach 26.2 miles would be really good for me.

Con #3: Running daily would generate a lot of laundry, I don’t have laundry in my building, and I never have time to do laundry these days so it would be even more impossible if I’m running at least an hour every day!

Pro #4: Maybe I’d meet a cute guy who is also training for the marathon and we’d have so much in common. It happened to Miranda on Sex and the City!

Con#4: If you have to get up super early to go running, that means there’s no time for cuddling…or other morning couple activities…

Pro #5: My father used to run marathons, it would be nice to continue a family tradition. I could get advice from him, plus I have the genetics for it- “a runner’s body”.

Con #5: 20 years ago my dad had to get knee surgery, likely from running on pavement for so many years. He needs surgery again, but he’s very stubborn about getting it so much of the time he walks around with a cane. Maybe this has nothing to actually do with his running history, but it still scares me.

Pro #6: I’d get in amazing shape, gain muscle and lose fat. My legs would look INCREDIBLE.

Con #6: What if my legs got too muscular? Okay, that’s not a legitimate con. The legitimate con is that it’s very easy to injure yourself while running and right now I have really mediocre health insurance.

Pro #7: Streets are shut down for the marathon. It would be awesome to run for miles and miles in the middle of New York City streets.

Con #7: Everyone runs in a huge pack, it looks like a claustrophobic nightmare. What if I had to slow down? Would everyone hate me/trample me?

Pro #8: I’m 28, that seems like the perfect age to run a marathon. My body is young (enough), I’m healthy, I should take advantage of that now!

Con #8: The people who run marathons in more advanced years are SO COOL! Plenty of seniors run the race and they are unbelievably inspiring. Maybe I should just wait until I can be an awesome old lady, giving the finger to my advancing years by running my first marathon…

Pro #9: Carbo-loading before the big day sounds really fun.

Con #9: Vomiting during a marathon is even more common than shitting your pants. Plus all the weird gels and protein bars your supposed to eat during the race are kinda gross.

Pro #10: If I ran the NY Marathon, I’d feel the whole city cheering me on. New York City feels like such a community when the marathon rolls around. Every one is a little friendlier, people are more apt to talk to strangers, there’s a positive mood in the air that’s down right magical.

Well, looks like there are more pros than cons! I’d better start training!

Maybe tomorrow…

Wait! How could I forget! NIPPLE CHAFFING! That is a thing and it is DEFINITELY a con! Never mind! With equal pros and cons I’m out! I’ll remain supporting from the sidelines!

Congrats to all marathoners! You all are such inspirations and you should be immensely proud!
(I really do hope to run one someday, but that health insurance Con #6 is really no joke!)