My birthday is this Sunday. I’m turning 29. I’ve already begun to feel the big 3-0 looming on the horizon. Only one more year of being a 20-something? EEK! Your 20s are the decade for making mistakes and not knowing what the fuck you’re doing with your life.
Your 30s? Not so much. As a 30-something certain things are way less socially acceptable. Behavior that’s seen as obnoxious from 20-somethings may be looked upon with judgment and downright distain in the next decade. I’ve been giving a lot of thought to this, all the experiences I really NEED to do NOW. My last year to enjoy the excuse, I’M IN MY 20S, BITCHES!
So I made a 30 Before 30 list! Duh! It’s the perfect cliché thing to do!
1 Vomit in a public place
Bonus points if it’s in a cab or on the subway.
2 Dye my hair a completely unprofessional color
3 Drunkenly confess my love for someone
4 Kiss a girl to attract male attention
5 Make out with 2 people in one night
6 Join Tinder
While it’s still free! They charge people over 30!
7 Participate in Santa Con
I’ve previously referred to this as NYC’s most hated holiday tradition.
8 Do a keg stand
This will likely induce the vomiting required for #1! Two birds!
9 Dance on a bar
And not fall off and crack my head open. #ULTIMATECHALLENGE
10 Crash a wedding
Mega bonus points if I can pull of #5 with 2 groomsmen!
11 Get a random tattoo for no reason
12 Have sex in a bathroom stall
13 Wear booty shorts in public
Expose my cheeks to the city streets.
14 Couch surf
15 Go streaking
16 Throw a toga party
17 Ask my parents for money
18 Go to a music festival
And wear a flower crown, #13, and bikini top #obvi #festivaluniform
19 FINALLY get my fucking drivers license
Yeah… I still haven’t done this… #newyorkcliche
20 Try a recreational drug
21 Attempt to wear killer heels out, give up by the walk home
Barefoot and wasted by night. Tetanus shot by day.
22 Subscribe to Cosmopolitan magazine
There better be an article “47 Ways to Drive Him Wild in a Bathroom Stall”! (See#12)
23 Break up with some one over text
24 Move back home with my parents
Tempting every winter as I’m from San Francisco.
25 Spend an entire day playing video games
26 Have a pregnancy scare
27 Go to the midnight screening of “The Hunger Games”
28 Write a piece for Though Catalogue
It could totes be a version of this article!
Or maybe I’ll write “47 Ways to Drive Him Wild in a Bathroom Stall”
29 Wear a cliché slutty costume on Halloween
A Sexy Pigeon #NewYorkCliche?
30 Travel the world
This one for real though…
You could argue a person can do whatever the fuck they want, no matter what their age! You could argue 29 is already too old for plenty of my list! I’m not here to argue, I’m not here to judge 40-year-olds who throw toga parties. I’m here to ask a very important question: Should I treat this as a bucket list and try tick off all 30 from the list before I turn 30? And blogs about each on I complete, chronicling my progress here? OR should I celebrate the fact I’ve made it to 29 without ever doing any of these?