Never Trust A Man Who Knows All the Right Things to Say

I write a post about a great second date everyone is so supportive and nice. I got so many comments from you all saying how excited for me you were!

There were  lovely tweets.

There were giddy Facebook comments.

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There were the sweetest blog comments.

comments

They were all amazing. Thank you guys so much.

For every comment and tweet, message and “Like” I received for my recent blog post A Tall, Dark, and Handsome Second Date, I felt a twinge of guilt.

zing2
This is the sound of each twinge of guilt!

I wanted to reply to each one immediately NO! Don’t get excited for me! Please! Stop! It’s not worth it! I know because I lived it! I was taking you all for a ride. Just like my date had taken me for a ride. But that’s what my blog is, I suppose. My life in NYC with you along for the ride.

I got excited about a boy after a great second date. You got excited right along with me.

Unfortunately the truth is after that great second date, I never saw him again.

I know, it was pretty disappointing for me, too.

I’m sorry I have to share that with you, take you for a ride that just ends abruptly, in didn’t-see-it-coming disappointment! Ugh. I hate disappointing people! I’m sorry! I wish he had asked me out again! I wish I was still seeing him! I wish he was the love of my life!

Except he was a dude who just wanted to get in my pants. What a lame cliché.

I wish this story had a happy ending.

I almost wish I could make one up, at least give it an interesting ending. Nope. I’ve gotta be honest.

I want to be honest. Even if it sucks.
I want to be honest. Even if it sucks.

Years ago, my cousin gave me some dating advice. I’ve never forgotten it:

“Never date anyone who is too rich, too good-looking, or knows all the right things to say.

If they are rich, they believe money will buy anything. Including you. If they are good-looking, they know good and well there’s another woman waiting right around the corner. And if they know all the right things to say, you can be damned sure they’ve been practicing them somewhere long before they met you.”

I wouldn’t say my tall, dark, and handsome date was too good-looking. He was quite attractive but no one was scouting him for magazine covers or underwear ads. His shoes weren’t nice enough for him too have been too rich. But he definitely knew all the right things to say.

While on our second date he mentioned making plans for the weekend. That’s just the right thing to say, what every girl wants to hear, right? Well I didn’t hear anything from him until Sunday afternoon when he texted me, asking me if I wanted to come over to his apartment.

That was it, the opportunity for a Latin lover dangling right in front of my nose.

Well, it turns out I don’t want a Latin lover.

I want a boyfriend.

ohfuck

There, there! I fucking wrote it for all the world wide web to see! I WANT A BOYFRIEND.

I’ve enjoyed my casual dating and “seeing where things go” and la la la the hint of anything serious freaks me out! Really, I have. But right now….I….I…want something more serious. Do you understand how hard that is for a New York Cliché to admit? It’s a pain like unto the screeching of a thousand subway brakes!

But there it is. It’s what I want. I don’t want booty calls on Sunday afternoons! (This is the second time with that! Does something about me scream “wants booty on Sunday afternoons”??) I want a boyfriend. And thus-

search continues

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About New York Cliche

NYC lifestyle blog by Mary Lane. Events, adventures, epic mistakes, dating, life, humor. A 30-something trying to make it (and make out) in the city of dreams.

11 thoughts on “Never Trust A Man Who Knows All the Right Things to Say”

  5. No need to apologize or worry about disappointing us. If we are disappointed, it’s because we’re disappointed for you. We want you to find someone special to love.

    It’s fun to relive the eager anticipation of first dates, the thrill of a date going well and a follow up, and all that. Most of time it doesn’t work out, but in the meanwhile keep having fun!!!!
    Elle recently posted…Run, Walk, Taste: Grape GallopMy Profile

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  7. I’m sorry to here that. It is a tough thing. It can sometimes be a game, but also just different expectations, which are not clear.

    He said all the right things, but it would be interesting to analyze what you said. There is a psychology of specifying what you want and knowing what you want.

    I say this, because this is something I’ve had to learn. Whether you want to attribute it to confidence, cockiness, or just plain realization is another discussion.

    I’ve just learned to say, hey this is me and this is the deal.

    It came from this about a year ago:

    I do my thing and you do your thing.
    I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
    And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
    You are you, and I am I,
    and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
    If not, it can’t be helped.
    (Fritz Perls, “Gestalt Therapy Verbatim”, 1969)

    It sounds like the first step for you is defining what you want. Awesome! Look forward to following the progress.

    — A guy you went on a date with

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  8. That sucks, but don’t let it get you down. You know that NYC is a tough place to date, especially for women. Now with the summer season coming up most single guys don’t want to be tied down to one girl. Even if they tell you they want a GF.

    You know how the story goes. Just go out and have fun, as the right guy will come along sooner or later.
    Phil recently posted…Get a New Taste of the Upper West Side in NYC!My Profile

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