If you were an animal, what would you be?
It is something of a clichéd question. One commonly encountered in interviews, get-to-know-you games, and personality tests. There are typical answers: lion, otter, eagle.
Me? I think I’d be a squirrel. I can never sit still, I’m always dashing around the city in a helter-skelter way. Not exactly a klutz or uncoordinated, but I’m certainly not graceful. I might fall out of a tree, but I’ll bounce right back up again like it never happened. You can call me a hard worker, resourceful and madly adaptable. Quick and clever and cute, but I’m not cuddly, or chipmunk-adorable. If you f— with me I will piercingly chatter my head off at you. And just as squirrels overturn bird feeders, I’ve been known to be kind of a jerk, sometimes taking a joke too far.
Also, I’ve been known to cram nuts into my cheeks. See, I’m a jerk! I’ll take a joke too far even at my own expense!
Why else would I be a squirrel? Because I live in New York City, like so many of these furry creatures. Take a walk in any city park and you will see dozens of squirrels skittering around, digging holes, burying nuts. Locals don’t give squirrels a second glance. Tourists, on the other hand, they go crazy over squirrels.
Perhaps it’s because they look so cute (like I said, I can relate) and they’re remarkably ballsy- so unafraid of humans that they will actually jump on you if you let them. Maybe visitors go gaga over squirrels because any other wildlife they are likely to encounter in this city is disgusting- rats, pigeons, cockroaches. (more…)